I guess I don’t really see a problem with this. If they’re going out after the kids are in bed, isn’t everyone still getting “family time”?

If your husband doesn’t want to go, he can decline, but I also don’t see what your issue is with the other guy inviting only your DH. Just because the school is the way you met / common thread, doesn’t mean that it can be the only thread.

DH and I have a group of friends that he met at work. The families come over often, but often the women leave early with the kids, and the guys hang out in our backyard for hours later, having a few drinks and talking business. I usually pour them some more wine, bring them some shooters and snacks, bow out with DD early, and she and I go do something fun. I think it’s great that DH has friends that he can just chill with. I think men have as much trouble forming friendships as women do, and it’s important that they also get tome to decompress from family time now and again.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, so try to be flexible and give them an out to socialize if they get along.

I see from your posts that you’re a SAHP, and I see that you haven’t bonded with their nanny. Is it possible that you’re a little jealous that the men have forged a friendship outside of children? Being home can feel isolating sometimes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has way better things to do than hang out with parents of our kids’ friends sans kids, let alone losing sleep to do it. Frankly, he sounds ridiculous.

DH already works a ton and has a lot of work related or alumni type events in the evenings he already often declines.

My peeve with this guy is that our kids are good friends. The mom actually always says my son is her son’s best friend.

Jesus, lady. What has happened is that the father of your kids best friend has taken a liking to your husband, and wants to do adult things like dinner or drinks with him. You yourself said your husband is likeable.

What about this situation peeves you, exactly? You think that because they met through your kid, all interactions need to include the kids?

You sound a little . . . off.

Anonymous wrote:The drinks at 11pm would be a firm no-go for my husband. He will meet a guy friend for a cocktail after work sometimes - maybe once or twice a month.

But after dinner? No.

That's his choice (and I feel the same way). But, it's not offensive to ask, and OP has no business getting involved.

Same for the dinners. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. It's an invitation. I really have no idea why OP is so worked up. Her husband isn't taking the guy up on every invitation. She's mad because he asks?

OP, you seem a little ridiculous.

Bizarre. Hanging out as families is good for everyone. Usually the guys talk a lot to each other anyway. He sounds needy and like he’s escaping his own family.

11:00 pm drinks? How old are he and your DH?? I’m lucky if I can manage plans for 9:00 pm!

I just asked my DH. He said this guy wants another married man to act as his wingman and alibi because that’s what bars are for at 11 pm.

Sorry, OP. Keep your family away from this guy.

OP why do you expect everyone to be close just because your kids hang out? People choose their friends. Maybe the guy doesn't have a lot of guy friends he can socialize with outside of his family. Big deal.

He doesn’t like his own kids? This guy would not be my friend.

Anonymous wrote:My DH has way better things to do than hang out with parents of our kids’ friends sans kids, let alone losing sleep to do it. Frankly, he sounds ridiculous.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s secretly gay and wants your husband?

I have actually thought this for a second but don’t think this is it. DH is great and very likeable. That’s why I married him.

I know they went through a rough patch and were even separated for a while. They are in counseling now.

We are all early 40s. I know so many couples getting divorced.

The perfect wingman....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH has way better things to do than hang out with parents of our kids’ friends sans kids, let alone losing sleep to do it. Frankly, he sounds ridiculous.

DH already works a ton and has a lot of work related or alumni type events in the evenings he already often declines.

My peeve with this guy is that our kids are good friends. The mom actually always says my son is her son’s best friend.

Sounds like maybe they all have some social issues. Does the mom know about the dad's strange requests??

So he doesnt like his wife or kids? I'm guessing they're headed for a divorce?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s secretly gay and wants your husband?

This was my thought too!!! He’s looking for a hook up.

I don’t think with her DH. I think he’s a party guy looking for a wingman

Anonymous wrote:My DH has way better things to do than hang out with parents of our kids’ friends sans kids, let alone losing sleep to do it. Frankly, he sounds ridiculous.

DH already works a ton and has a lot of work related or alumni type events in the evenings he already often declines.

My peeve with this guy is that our kids are good friends. The mom actually always says my son is her son’s best friend.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he’s secretly gay and wants your husband?

This was my thought too!!! He’s looking for a hook up.

My DH has way better things to do than hang out with parents of our kids’ friends sans kids, let alone losing sleep to do it. Frankly, he sounds ridiculous.