These meds have major side effects.

OP: the meds are nothing to be afraid of. If you decide to try them, and they don't work/have side effects, you can work with your doctor to stop them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me a true sign that hyper ADHD diagnosis is on spot is how your kid reacts to adhd meds. I couldn't believe it with dd, she falls asleep on Vyvanse and Concerta was calming for her. In fact, she calms down a bit on coffee too. I tend to think that a kid who becomes super chatty and more active on stimulants is misdiagnosed(not in every case clearly).

My almost mute ADHD child becomes more talkative on ADHD meds but would still be considered not much of a talker compared to her peers. We're certain she has ADHD. She says without the meds she can't follow conversations and forgets what she wants to say while she waits for the other person to finish talking. On meds she stays engaged and doesn't lose what is going on and can hold in her mind what she wants to contribute even if she has to wait to speak. She's inattentive ADHD and shows no signs of impassivity. She's one of those well behaved, people pleasing inattentive types who flew under the radar for a long time. On ADHD meds she's more normal. Without them people often asked us if she had selective mutism.

That is why I wrote hyper adhd, I would think that inattentive add would be different in presentation. You can't get my dd to shut up otherwise. On meds she is a bit better, but she is social, and active hyper. The roller coaster we were on with her before meds was nuts. So, it makes sense that for inattentive type it would improve the other aspects. (Funny you mention selective mutism, my ds, now adult had that. He was prescribes stimulant for a short time, but they make his anxiety worse, he also talked a ton more on stimulants, for a very short time he took them.) So, you are right, and I suppose my observation with dd is also kind of right?

Anonymous wrote:It's recommended to start with behavioral therapies anyway. You're the parent; nobody is going to make your child take medications.

I've managed my mental health without taking medications just fine, so it's definitely possible.

Another option is to just wait until your child is old enough to understand, and let him have a role in deciding whether to take meds. For all that people stress out about elementary school kids, they don't have to be perfect. If you can cope until middle school using behavioral interventions, then at 12 or 13 he will be old enough to have a say.

Finally, if he's having issues at school, then yeah, you do need to get him evaluated and get a 504 or IEP. If the issues are behavioral, they are only going to get WORSE if you don't address them in any way. A downward spiral of behavior could then lead to an acute situation where you feel more pressure to medicate.

Stimulant meds help EVERYONE focus better - so certainly, you'd see changes in your kid if you put him on Ritalin. That doesn't mean you have to - you can accept that you have a kid with a difference in ability to focus as his baseline, and work on non-medication techniques to help him cope.

Thank you!!!!

Anonymous wrote:Not for a minute. My kid is older but drives safely, is finishing school and has solid friendships - all things that he could not master without meds.

This is why we medicate. Being a parent of an ADHD child makes me fear all the non-medicated or undiagnosed ADHD people on the road. My child without meds could NOT get behind the wheel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me a true sign that hyper ADHD diagnosis is on spot is how your kid reacts to adhd meds. I couldn't believe it with dd, she falls asleep on Vyvanse and Concerta was calming for her. In fact, she calms down a bit on coffee too. I tend to think that a kid who becomes super chatty and more active on stimulants is misdiagnosed(not in every case clearly).

My almost mute ADHD child becomes more talkative on ADHD meds but would still be considered not much of a talker compared to her peers. We're certain she has ADHD. She says without the meds she can't follow conversations and forgets what she wants to say while she waits for the other person to finish talking. On meds she stays engaged and doesn't lose what is going on and can hold in her mind what she wants to contribute even if she has to wait to speak. She's inattentive ADHD and shows no signs of impassivity. She's one of those well behaved, people pleasing inattentive types who flew under the radar for a long time. On ADHD meds she's more normal. Without them people often asked us if she had selective mutism.

*impulsiveness* not impassivity :-/ Sorry!

Anonymous wrote:For me a true sign that hyper ADHD diagnosis is on spot is how your kid reacts to adhd meds. I couldn't believe it with dd, she falls asleep on Vyvanse and Concerta was calming for her. In fact, she calms down a bit on coffee too. I tend to think that a kid who becomes super chatty and more active on stimulants is misdiagnosed(not in every case clearly).

My almost mute ADHD child becomes more talkative on ADHD meds but would still be considered not much of a talker compared to her peers. We're certain she has ADHD. She says without the meds she can't follow conversations and forgets what she wants to say while she waits for the other person to finish talking. On meds she stays engaged and doesn't lose what is going on and can hold in her mind what she wants to contribute even if she has to wait to speak. She's inattentive ADHD and shows no signs of impassivity. She's one of those well behaved, people pleasing inattentive types who flew under the radar for a long time. On ADHD meds she's more normal. Without them people often asked us if she had selective mutism.

Anonymous wrote:It's recommended to start with behavioral therapies anyway. You're the parent; nobody is going to make your child take medications.

I've managed my mental health without taking medications just fine, so it's definitely possible.

Another option is to just wait until your child is old enough to understand, and let him have a role in deciding whether to take meds. For all that people stress out about elementary school kids, they don't have to be perfect. If you can cope until middle school using behavioral interventions, then at 12 or 13 he will be old enough to have a say.

Finally, if he's having issues at school, then yeah, you do need to get him evaluated and get a 504 or IEP. If the issues are behavioral, they are only going to get WORSE if you don't address them in any way. A downward spiral of behavior could then lead to an acute situation where you feel more pressure to medicate.

Stimulant meds help EVERYONE focus better - so certainly, you'd see changes in your kid if you put him on Ritalin. That doesn't mean you have to - you can accept that you have a kid with a difference in ability to focus as his baseline, and work on non-medication techniques to help him cope.

Yes, they help everyone focus better. But when you have ADD they help your brain focus normally. Without it you swing wildly from hyper-focus (onnon-boring tasks) to no focus. When you don't have ADD, stimulants help you hyper-focus on the (boring) task. Stimulants help me decide what I need to focus on and shift gears when I decide to. Without it, I'm at the mercy of my wonky brain.

Anonymous wrote:It's recommended to start with behavioral therapies anyway. You're the parent; nobody is going to make your child take medications.

I've managed my mental health without taking medications just fine, so it's definitely possible for some people.

Another option is to just wait until your child is old enough to understand, and let him have a role in deciding whether to take meds. For all that people stress out about elementary school kids, they don't have to be perfect. If you can cope until middle school using behavioral interventions, then at 12 or 13 he will be old enough to have a say.

Finally, if he's having issues at school, then yeah, you do need to get him evaluated and get a 504 or IEP. If the issues are behavioral, they are only going to get WORSE if you don't address them in any way. A downward spiral of behavior could then lead to an acute situation where you feel more pressure to medicate.

Stimulant meds help EVERYONE focus better - so certainly, you'd see changes in your kid if you put him on Ritalin. That doesn't mean you have to - you can accept that you have a kid with a difference in ability to focus as his baseline, and work on non-medication techniques to help him cope.

FIFY

As an Adult with ADD who wasn't diagnosed until my 30's--please don't be afraid of medicating your kid. I finally understood what it was like to have a functioning brain. Your kid has a brain that is making living and learning in this society difficult. Why wouldn't you medicate your child to help him/her be more successful?

Not for a minute. My kid is older but drives safely, is finishing school and has solid friendships - all things that he could not master without meds.

For me a true sign that hyper ADHD diagnosis is on spot is how your kid reacts to adhd meds. I couldn't believe it with dd, she falls asleep on Vyvanse and Concerta was calming for her. In fact, she calms down a bit on coffee too. I tend to think that a kid who becomes super chatty and more active on stimulants is misdiagnosed(not in every case clearly).

OP here. Thanks for the feedback everyone. I will keep reading this thread while making some appointments, and keep reading up more literature. The family - immediate and wider - can not believe I’m suspecting adhd. So not much support there, but otherwise. It’s like I have to keep going, looking into this on my own and it is a bit overwhelming.

But I’m dealing with the kid more than others, and received three notes from three separate adults that there are focus issues. I see other adhd characteristics of adhd in him after little read-ups done so far - line by line - almost all yeses.

I’m ahead of myself - as one poster said... will try get diagnosed first. Then assess next steps...

Thanks so much for listening and feedback.

I frequently think with great relief how happy I am that stimulant medications are, for the moment, working for my DS. In general, I hate medication. But this medication has been life changing, putting my DS on a course to be happy and maybe successful enough.

Last year, in second grade, with a strong IEP, this was our experience:
-- daily to weekly calls and emails regarding bad behavior
-- almost no friends, very lonely, suicidal comments
-- only doing 1/3rd of his schoolwork at any time
-- Nonreader, refused to even try to read
-- Complete emotional dysregulation. School refusal every day. Constant ups and downs emotionally.

I was reluctant to medicate even though DS was struggling so much. I tried behavioral therapy, nutritional supplements, elimination diet, counseling, etc. It was only the fear that this situation would lead to him developing crippling depression or anxiety that pushed me to try the meds. We reluctantly started meds in the summer before third grade.

Now, in third grade, our ADHD-controlled child has:
-- Has a nice group of friends
-- Likes school
-- Does much of his schoolwork
-- Can read on grade level
-- Not one single call regarding bad behavior the entire year. Not a one.

Anonymous wrote:No regrets. But due to other medical issues we had to stop part way through high school. His life is very difficult without them.

+1 We have to manage without meds due to medical issues. It is VERY hard. I wish we had that tool!

Re: neurofeedback, we have done it (I have and my son has). I found it helpful for anxiety but not for ADHD.