Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. It sounds like nobody is convinced that the gate/ crate setup would remotely work, right?

I won’t get into the various family drama reasons as to why staying in a hotel doesn’t work but it’s essentially a decision between staying there or not visiting at all.

I crate my excitable dog when toddlers/infants visit (a few hours). A week stay might be hard. My dog has claws that can scratch. Not aggressive at all but I’d hate to have any issues. If little chid an errant claw might scratch.

We have a dog that is excitable and loves to play. He sees running kids and gets all excited and wants to play. But a jumping dog that wants to play can hurt a child. We keep said dog on a leash and with us when we have younger kids over in order to prevent accidents.

Can you ask your parents/sibling to keep the dog on a leash and with one of them when you are at the house?

You would never forgive yourself if you relented and allowed your child to enter the home - and a bite occurred. Hold the line. As a dog owner, I completely understand and support your decision not to enter the home unless the dog is boarded.

OP, the gate system would work to keep your child away from the dog as well, no?

Years ago, we had two great dogs and two “spirited” children that frequently visited. I always put up gates and the like, to protect my dogs from the children.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to call visiting children down the stairs, while the parents did nothing, because they “wanted to pet the doggie/kitty”. I understand that animals are a temptation to little people, but they also need to be taught to respect animals and their space.

In your case, I agree the dog and child need to be separated, but I also have to wonder why your child, as a guest in the house, always seems to be around the dog, unattended? Safety works both ways, and while I do agree that the needs of a child trump the needs of a dog, they kind of go together. Do consider that the gates will keep your child out of harm’s way, rather than being concerned that it won’t contain the dog.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could ask him to board the dog during your visit. My sister courteously did this when I visited her with young children even though her dog is gentle. We didn’t ask her to do it, she just decided on her own. He’s a big dog and she didn’t want anyone to be scared or for him to knock anyone over. Maybe ask him to board him and offer to split the cost?

Sounds like OP’s kid was at fault from her follow up so I absolutely do not think her sister should pay a cent toward this.

In the other hand it sounds like the sibling lives in OP’s house so...

+1

Do they have a friend the dog can stay with?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could ask him to board the dog during your visit. My sister courteously did this when I visited her with young children even though her dog is gentle. We didn’t ask her to do it, she just decided on her own. He’s a big dog and she didn’t want anyone to be scared or for him to knock anyone over. Maybe ask him to board him and offer to split the cost?

Sounds like OP’s kid was at fault from her follow up so I absolutely do not think her sister should pay a cent toward this.

In the other hand it sounds like the sibling lives in OP’s house so...

I taught my kid to respect our dogs from a young age. We have large dogs and one did scratch her on the face once playing, it happens. But given that your kids don't respect dogs the correct way and may be too aggresive with dogs that arent used to them i think you should not stay in the house. Stay in a hotel or go to a different location minus the dog.

Anonymous wrote:You could ask him to board the dog during your visit. My sister courteously did this when I visited her with young children even though her dog is gentle. We didn’t ask her to do it, she just decided on her own. He’s a big dog and she didn’t want anyone to be scared or for him to knock anyone over. Maybe ask him to board him and offer to split the cost?

Sounds like OP’s kid was at fault from her follow up so I absolutely do not think her sister should pay a cent toward this.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, also a dog owner and I think the dog needs to be boarded. Using a system of gates and crates is not going to make you feel comfortable and the adults are constantly going to be having to make sure the dog and your child are separated. We have 2 dogs and they have scratched us when they were puppies by jumping on us. Many dogs bite kids on the face because that is how they correct puppies -by nipping the nose. I am familiar with dogs, good at reading them, and I would not risk this with my kid and this dog. I'm sorry. Invite your parents to come and visit you for a week or two.

Agree 100%

Sorry OP, also a dog owner and I think the dog needs to be boarded. Using a system of gates and crates is not going to make you feel comfortable and the adults are constantly going to be having to make sure the dog and your child are separated. We have 2 dogs and they have scratched us when they were puppies by jumping on us. Many dogs bite kids on the face because that is how they correct puppies -by nipping the nose. I am familiar with dogs, good at reading them, and I would not risk this with my kid and this dog. I'm sorry. Invite your parents to come and visit you for a week or two.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, not two different answers. The dog scratched/bit a child. A dog hurt a child and the parents have a right to avoid the dog.

Well my fat, stupid dog often jumps on top of us when we are laying on the couch and she is trying to snuggle down to nap on us. She has nails, so often, she ends up scratching us. That’s pretty different than a dog that’s being aggressive biting a kid’s face.

If by "us" you mean you and other adults or older kids, then that's one thing.

If your fat, stupid dog was jumping on top of toddlers, and ending up scratching them, and you took no steps to stop it, then you would be an irresponsible dog owner, and OP would be right to keep her kids away.

I say this as the owner of a jumpy dog. My dog is never around a small child unless he's on a leash and under my control. My dog is small enough that if he jumps on me and his paws land wrong, I could get a scratch on my thigh. That's a cost I'm willing to pay because I enjoy having a dog. But he's big enough that if he jumped on a 3 year old his paws could land wrong and scratch an eye, or teach a kid to be scared of dogs. That's not acceptable, so he's locked up, or on a leash around all kids, and jumping is prevented.

OP's parents clearly aren't willing to do that, so the kid doesn't visit.

OP you are right to be worried especially with a younger child also visiting. You’re going to be a nervous wreck and justifiably so. The attitude of the family is not helpful either.
Our neighbor had a dog brought it over on the lawn for DD to pet. She reached out and quick as a snake the dog bounced up and bit her in the face. It was over in a second before we could even move. Still has the scar. So no I wouldn’t do it.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. It sounds like nobody is convinced that the gate/ crate setup would remotely work, right?

I won’t get into the various family drama reasons as to why staying in a hotel doesn’t work but it’s essentially a decision between staying there or not visiting at all.

The crate and gate system could totally work but it all depends on if the adults stick to it. Separating the dog in its own area if folks stick to it is a perfectly logical solution.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the kid? Can he tell you what happened?

he was 3.5 last time it happened and he said, “he bit me! I wasn’t bugging him!” So, not super reliable narrator

PP here. Yes, this is a risk with young kids and unfamiliar dogs. Our dog actually nicked a young family member--it happened super quick; the child had only been alone with the dog for like two minutes. Our dog was a middle-aged dog who had never previously shown any aggression (although wasn't used to being around other kids besides our own). We said we'd never put that child--or any child--in that situation again.

My sib works in a pediatric ER and often sees dog bites. Same scenario--kid gets left alone with dog, and a bite happens. Sometimes a little nick, but sometimes a kid gets mauled. Family usually says they were surprised by the dog's aggression.

I think your instincts are right, OP--I would stay in a hotel if you go at all, and only visit when dog is put away. Even the most well-loved dogs can occasionally have a bad day and do something unpredictable.