Whether you work or not, how you spend your time is your choice, OP. We all need to do errands and chores and socialize in order to feel fulfilled and have our lives in order. I couldn’t do all that and give free child care for a full day a week.

Either you’re going to sacrifice yourself or your daughter is going to be unhappy. Why do you have to be the person who gets the raw end of the arrangement? You’ve raised your children. You didn’t move further away. You’re giving the gift of your time. Hold firm and feel no guilt.

I love my grandchildren, but distance allows me a visit every other year.

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is an entitled spoiled jacka$$ and you reared her. You are probably doing the same with grandchildren.

Hi! I knew you would show up! You are the one who always blames the Original Poster. We missed you on page one. Why so late?

Anonymous wrote:If she wanted to keep things as they are, she shouldn't be moving 40 miles away.

+1

My parents live about 15 miles away from me, we see them probably every other week, definitely not for 8 hours, and my kids love them and have a great time with them.

Your daughter is an entitled spoiled jacka$$ and you reared her. You are probably doing the same with grandchildren.

You raised a spoiled brat. Deal with it.

Six of their adult children!! By they mainly helped the two that failed to launch...

Ask her what the real issue is. I don’t get it.

My paternal grandparents lived 40-50 minutes away. Saw them once a month, mainly in holidays or birthdays or mother’s day etc. My dad was one of 6 all over the country.

That's fine. My mom is local and not working and only sees mine once a month at best as she's "busy." You can call, FaceTime, send little gifts, etc.

Every other week is fine.
She's upset with losing free help.

My mom lived 2.5 hours away (before she sadly passed away) and saw my kids every 4-6 weeks, alternating who visited who. She was a very involved engaging grandmother and my kids adored her. My inlaws on the other hand are local, we see them almost weekly, but they are just not "kid people" and my kids can tell. They much preferred my mom.

Point is, frequency of visits is not the only criteria for closeness.

I agree your daughter is peeved about the loss of her free help. There are MANY families around here that are utterly and totally dependent on their parents or inlaws for childcare and most all of them take it for granted.

Invite her to travel to you the other two weekends. If it is that important to her she will.

^^^ 3.5 HOURS not miles!!!

My DD, SIL, granddaughter lives 3.5 miles away. I still have a kid at home, work, and my own busy commitments. We Facetime most weekends (my DD and her DH both work long hours so weekday calls are rare!) We try and visit there monthly but reality is every 5-6 weeks though we usually do one or two week long vacations together each year and they come for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I feel close to my granddaughter and there are no 'hard transistions' when we get together. Your DD is probably nervous and loved your time w/her kids but if you both make a priority will be fine!!!

Anonymous wrote:You raised a brat.

She's an ingrate. If she wants more babysitting time, she has to come to you.

Let's face it, she's not concerned about your relationship with her kids, she's worried about losing the sweet deal where grandmas freely watches the kids once a week.