7 and 9 year old and the fighting is problematic here too. The scratching is the worst of it. They are like baby honey badgers going at each other.

One thing that seemed to help when talking and consequences weren’t working was I told the child that is inflicting the most physical damage, that if they don’t find a way to manage themselves with their sibling when angry without physically hurting them, we will be bringing it up to their doctor. Not as a punitive thing, but as a serious way to help us help them find better ways to cope with conflict. I guess this sounded entirely embarrassing because they pleaded not to do that and it has gotten a lot better. No completely perfect, but I’m not as concerned someone is going to loose an eye anymore

I stress the team concept, they and family in general are the same team and we work together not against each other. They are perfectly capable of understanding that and act accordingly.

I have them do a lot of sports to work of the aggression and need to to compete. Around 3 hrs a day of sports or gym time and a couple hours of just general activity. Walking to/from school, playing with friends after school, etc. Physical activity works wonders.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys, right? Let boys be boys. Roughhousing is what they do.

This is what leafs to "boys will be boys" and excuses rape.

When they fight, separate them. If they insist on fighting do what my mother did. She drew a chalk circle in back yard and told them this is where they had to fight. Somehow, once inside the circle, the fights ended immediately.

Was it a chalk from the church that they bless once a year? That is pretty powerful stuff. Wards of demons, so they believe, who knows. Maybe that was that?

No, you idiot. They calmed down as they watched my mother draw the circle and set out they rules for their fighting. She also brought a chair to sit and watch them. It's a different world for kids when parents know how to parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys, right? Let boys be boys. Roughhousing is what they do.

This is what leafs to "boys will be boys" and excuses rape.

When they fight, separate them. If they insist on fighting do what my mother did. She drew a chalk circle in back yard and told them this is where they had to fight. Somehow, once inside the circle, the fights ended immediately.

Was it a chalk from the church that they bless once a year? That is pretty powerful stuff. Wards of demons, so they believe, who knows. Maybe that was that?

Anonymous wrote:Boys, right? Let boys be boys. Roughhousing is what they do.

Yeah? NO.

Boys are boys to but first they are humans and people that need to behave and follow rules and not hurt each other.
The best antidote for boys be boys is for parents to be parents. The free raising style is great for raising future inmates
otherwise a parent need to do the job that is put in to do. Who else will do that? Also if they are like this now, what will happen in few years?

Anonymous wrote:Boys, right? Let boys be boys. Roughhousing is what they do.

BS. Total BS. It is gaming. Just take away for a month and watch them change. Chances are they watch violent video games and even if not the sheer screen time does that to kids.

Anonymous wrote:Boys, right? Let boys be boys. Roughhousing is what they do.

please quit your boys will be boys, let boys be boys etc BS

Anonymous wrote:Boys, right? Let boys be boys. Roughhousing is what they do.

This statement is very problematic. Kids of all genders need to be taught self control. Yes fights will happen but I always remind my girls to keep their hands to themselves. When they fight I separate them and send them to their room including my 4 yr old and tell them they can come back out once they have calmed down. If they can't calm down then its nap time.

OP, are the kids bothered by it? Or just you?

There's play roughhousing, and then there's serious fighting where someone is getting hurt.

My boys are still fairly little (2 & 4) but my plan is basically that if one kid doesn't want to participate, then I will intervene. Otherwise, I'll try to let it go.

Re: the rape comment from above. For me, the issue there is consent, not the actual rough housing. If they're both tumbling around and enjoying it, letting "kids be kids" is not a problem for me.

Anonymous wrote:Boys, right? Let boys be boys. Roughhousing is what they do.

This is what leafs to "boys will be boys" and excuses rape.

When they fight, separate them. If they insist on fighting do what my mother did. She drew a chalk circle in back yard and told them this is where they had to fight. Somehow, once inside the circle, the fights ended immediately.

My four boys were always fighting about or over something. It drove me crazy because when they weren’t fighting they were playing together so fighting was just an aggressive form of playing or that’s how I rationalized it. The real benefit was that my youngest was born with a very difficult physical disability and while he wore a leg brace until he was five he was a battler by age three just dealing with his older brothers who cut him no slack. When he went to elementary school he was picked on because of his disability and he would beat up the bullies.

What if you ignored? Is it too the level they will really injure each other?

I'd love to know too. 7 year old boy and 9 year old girl will have days where they will physically fight each other, whine to me, stop, laugh, do it again. Boy is the more physical one while girl is more verbal. It is exhausting.

You dont stop them....there kids and dont yet have the mental capacity. Just like us adults....they will grow out of it. I was a bully at that age...I grew out of it, now I own 5 restaurants.

Anonymous wrote:Mine are 5 and 7, also girls, and they’re insane. It escalates to physical fighting whenever I don’t intervene, which means no peace for me. The only one thing that helps is leaving the house, which is not always possible.

We have a 4.5 year and 7 year old sisters. The thing I see that most often leads to physical fighting is grabbing from each other. We're working on it but it's never-ending.