Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 14:38     Subject: Re:If you're a working mom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, seriously? Page two of the thread you're talking about:

"Wow.

I love being a SAHM. I can’t imagine being away from my kids all day. Some days I wish I was away at work, but then I realize how great it is to be with them. It’s hard and difficult and boring and lonely, but I personally could never be away from them for 8 hours a day."

THIS is the kind of stuff that makes people made. And it took just over a page to occur. Then there was more, but you're pretty deluded if you think that the thread was super pleasant until some WOHM started something. Go back and really read it without your blinders on.


EXACTLY. I WOH and didn't comment on that thread because I don't really care what someone else does with their time. But comments like these were all over that thread, so let's not make it out like the WOHM swooped in and turned an otherwise lovely thread nasty...


I didn’t even read the thread in question but yes, those kinds of statements about working moms suck.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 14:35     Subject: If you're a working mom
Anonymous wrote:Why does it bother me? It doesn’t. Don’t paint all working moms with a single brush.


Agree.

I have 3 kids. It doesn’t bother me when people complain that having 1 kid is hard. I thought 1 kid was hard when I had one kid too. Now, if I am out with only one of my kids I think it’s easy. But its all relative!! Likewise, I am sure people with 4+ kids think having 3 kids is “easy.”

If people complain about something I try to commiserate for the most part - I don’t try to engage in the hardship Olympics.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 14:21     Subject: Re:If you're a working mom
Anonymous wrote:OP, seriously? Page two of the thread you're talking about:

"Wow.

I love being a SAHM. I can’t imagine being away from my kids all day. Some days I wish I was away at work, but then I realize how great it is to be with them. It’s hard and difficult and boring and lonely, but I personally could never be away from them for 8 hours a day."

THIS is the kind of stuff that makes people made. And it took just over a page to occur. Then there was more, but you're pretty deluded if you think that the thread was super pleasant until some WOHM started something. Go back and really read it without your blinders on.


EXACTLY. I WOH and didn't comment on that thread because I don't really care what someone else does with their time. But comments like these were all over that thread, so let's not make it out like the WOHM swooped in and turned an otherwise lovely thread nasty...
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 14:09     Subject: If you're a working mom
Do you ever see working moms starting threads about what’s hard about their jobs that they didn’t envision? No. Sahm’s complain a lot. And really working moms do it all plus mom in the mornings and evenings. My SIL stays home with one kid and works 3 hours per week while her kid naps and her husband acts like she’s some super hero.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 13:56     Subject: If you're a working mom
WOHM here and I did not even open that thread and haven't read this one.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 13:40     Subject: If you're a working mom
Anonymous wrote:I don't want to start a war about this but I'm really curious about something. Why does it bother you when SAHMs talk about what they do or express their frustrations? I was reading the "what surprised you about being a SAHM to young kids" thread and it was fairly reasonable and non-contentious for many pages. Mostly SAHMs and former SAHMs talking about the various pros and cons. But then a bunch of working moms had to come in and start shaming SAHMs for their choice.

Why does it bother you if SAHMs want to talk about their issues among themselves? Why do you feel the need to butt in to prove that you're better? "Well *I* have a flexible job that allows me to get home at 3:30 and I make 200k. My husband has the same except he makes 500k." I'm exaggerating but only slightly. Surely you realize that those are unicorn jobs? Great for you, I really mean that! But it's not relevant to the conversation or the OP's question. OP obviously doesn't have a situation like that or she'd mention it. She probably wouldn't be weighing whether to become a SAHM or not.

Why do you feel the need to butt in?



You know what, PP, why don't you go visit the threads centered around working moms and see just how many people say things like "quit your job" or "raise your own kids", and then come back here. It goes both ways.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 13:23     Subject: Re:If you're a working mom
OP, seriously? Page two of the thread you're talking about:

"Wow.

I love being a SAHM. I can’t imagine being away from my kids all day. Some days I wish I was away at work, but then I realize how great it is to be with them. It’s hard and difficult and boring and lonely, but I personally could never be away from them for 8 hours a day."

THIS is the kind of stuff that makes people made. And it took just over a page to occur. Then there was more, but you're pretty deluded if you think that the thread was super pleasant until some WOHM started something. Go back and really read it without your blinders on.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 13:07     Subject: Re:If you're a working mom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I only respond to posts shaming or criticizing working moms - as PP noted above, comments like "why do people even have kids if they don't want to raise rhem" really hurt. But I didn't even open that SAHM thread because from the title it clearly wasn't meant for me.

I also get irritates at the "I work from home 6 hours a day and make $200k" posts because that is obviously not a scalable solution. Or we'd all do it!


These comments make my blood boil for their obvious sexism. No one ever accuses a man of not being a good parent because he works.


What? Of course they do! People shame Father’s who travel for work or work demanding hours all the time. Or who skip pateantal leave.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 12:53     Subject: If you're a working mom
Anonymous wrote:This is why there should be a SAHM specific forum. It’s great to unload without being shamed. I don’t know what the makeup of other posters communities are because people talk about he SAHMs they know and what not but I am the only SAHM in my area. All of my friends and kids friends moms work, I’m the only unemployed adult I know and I have a large circle of acquaintances across sec spectrum. We all get along and I’m just as close to the workaholic attorneys and consultants as I am to the very part time work from home moms. Still, this is one of the few places I can come to hear from other actual sahms.


I mean, the subject line of the post in question said "SAHMs," and sounds like rude people still come in to be rude. Same happens with threads about day care. You'd have to keep it out of Recent Topics.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 12:38     Subject: If you're a working mom
This is why there should be a SAHM specific forum. It’s great to unload without being shamed. I don’t know what the makeup of other posters communities are because people talk about he SAHMs they know and what not but I am the only SAHM in my area. All of my friends and kids friends moms work, I’m the only unemployed adult I know and I have a large circle of acquaintances across sec spectrum. We all get along and I’m just as close to the workaholic attorneys and consultants as I am to the very part time work from home moms. Still, this is one of the few places I can come to hear from other actual sahms.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 12:30     Subject: Re:If you're a working mom
It doesn't. Everyone has frustrations.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 11:00     Subject: Re:If you're a working mom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I only respond to posts shaming or criticizing working moms - as PP noted above, comments like "why do people even have kids if they don't want to raise rhem" really hurt. But I didn't even open that SAHM thread because from the title it clearly wasn't meant for me.

I also get irritates at the "I work from home 6 hours a day and make $200k" posts because that is obviously not a scalable solution. Or we'd all do it!


These comments make my blood boil for their obvious sexism. No one ever accuses a man of not being a good parent because he works.


Yep!

My husband takes DD to Starbucks on his own and gets constant compliments. "It's so great you're doing that!" "Look at you having some daddy-daughter time!"

When I take her, where are my compliments? I'm lucky if people don't scoff at me if she gets loud.

Ridiculous double standard.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 10:46     Subject: Re:If you're a working mom
Anonymous wrote:I only respond to posts shaming or criticizing working moms - as PP noted above, comments like "why do people even have kids if they don't want to raise rhem" really hurt. But I didn't even open that SAHM thread because from the title it clearly wasn't meant for me.

I also get irritates at the "I work from home 6 hours a day and make $200k" posts because that is obviously not a scalable solution. Or we'd all do it!


These comments make my blood boil for their obvious sexism. No one ever accuses a man of not being a good parent because he works.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 10:36     Subject: If you're a working mom
I don't have the time or energy to care about what SAHMs do. I would never butt in as you've described.
Anonymous
Post 06/07/2019 10:34     Subject: If you're a working mom
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Generally it doesn't bother me. What does bother me is when I hear SAHMs who have kids in preschool or other full-time educational settings and don't have unusual other commitments talk about how hard their lives are.

Yes, it's difficult taking care of young kids all day. No, it's not reasonable to draw an equivalency between working FT and having kids and staying at home while your kids are in school.

It's fine to say "hey, my life is easier than others and I'm grateful for that." The suffering Olympics is tiresome.


People like that suck because they suck, separate from their choice to SAH. Honestly, there are a lot of complainers out there, and the “woe is me” attitude is found among all types (including PLENTY who don’t have kids at all!)


Yeah, some people can do everything without breaking a sweat and some people are just exhausted by the basics of life. I'm a WOHM who was more in category 1 until I got pregnant at the same time they closed down my metro lines, now just getting to work, dr's appointments, etc. Is this big freaking deal. I can totally see getting stressed out by shuttling kids to a bunch of sports and enrichment stuff and being expected to deal with all the housework (which is generally more on a Rahm's plate).