Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:49     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Why would she do such a thing? Dreadful! I would not contact her, but I would change the locks when your spouse is not home and file for divorce pronto.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:47     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Anonymous wrote:I did because there were two of them and I wanted to make sure they knew about each other.


Oh and I divorced him. We had no kids so no reason to stay and put up with that bullsh*t
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:45     Subject: Re:Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Anonymous wrote:I sent the email to her H.

I pretended to do therapy for 1 year until I knew they were broken up.

I got divorced.

Wow! That's revenge, I guess. Do you know if they ever reconnected after you said you wanted a divorce after all?
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:44     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My spouse has been in a long-term affair. When it first started, I had found out about it, but after counseling and working together thought it was over years ago. Recently, the person he has been seeing sent me an email with a picture of the two of them. That is when I found out that it had started up again.

I am curious if you have found out your spouse was cheating, if you spoke with the person they were cheating with. I'm considering calling her and saying, "It seems you have something to tell me, so wanted to give you the opportunity."

What would you do?

Thanks


Does your husband know she sent it? Do you think she did it to try to get reaction from you?
If she wants to talk to you, I’d hear her out. I’d get as much info from her but I’d give up no information from my perspective.


When I saw her name in the email, I went upstairs to ask why she would be emailing me. That's when the info about the affair came out. He thinks it was to get a reaction out of him because he had ended it. I'm not sure whether she wanted a reaction out of me beyond blowing up the marriage.


If what you H told you is true and you still want to be in your marriage, both of you need to block her number, social media, email etc. You can survive it only if there is NO CONTACT.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:42     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My spouse has been in a long-term affair. When it first started, I had found out about it, but after counseling and working together thought it was over years ago. Recently, the person he has been seeing sent me an email with a picture of the two of them. That is when I found out that it had started up again.

I am curious if you have found out your spouse was cheating, if you spoke with the person they were cheating with. I'm considering calling her and saying, "It seems you have something to tell me, so wanted to give you the opportunity."

What would you do?

Thanks


Does your husband know she sent it? Do you think she did it to try to get reaction from you?
If she wants to talk to you, I’d hear her out. I’d get as much info from her but I’d give up no information from my perspective.


When I saw her name in the email, I went upstairs to ask why she would be emailing me. That's when the info about the affair came out. He thinks it was to get a reaction out of him because he had ended it. I'm not sure whether she wanted a reaction out of me beyond blowing up the marriage.


Do not contact her OP. There is a very good chance it will give her a lot of satisfaction, and almost no chance it will make you feel better. Move on with your life. That is the best revenge you can have against her.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:42     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it a recent picture? What did the email say?

What would be the purpose of talking to her? I'd just forward the picture to my husband along with contact info for my attorney.


It was not a recent picture from the date on the picture. There was nothing else in the email, just the attachment.

But you said you found out that the affair had started up again, so is it going on now? Do you know?
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:40     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind she sent you the picture so you will get a divorce and she is hoping to get your STBX.


Why should OP care about this? Her husband is a cheater. Let the other chick have him.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:40     Subject: Re:Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
I sent the email to her H.

I pretended to do therapy for 1 year until I knew they were broken up.

I got divorced.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:39     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
I did because there were two of them and I wanted to make sure they knew about each other.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:37     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Don't do it. I found out a year ago that my STBX had an affair with a mutual friend. It would have been VERY satisfying to have it out with her, but toward what end? She was single at the time.

She's trash, and there's no room for her in my life.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:37     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it a recent picture? What did the email say?

What would be the purpose of talking to her? I'd just forward the picture to my husband along with contact info for my attorney.


It was not a recent picture from the date on the picture. There was nothing else in the email, just the attachment.


Then ignore her, but keep a close eye on him.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:37     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
And you still believe he ended it? The just broke up temporarily. They will be back together.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:36     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Anonymous wrote:Is it a recent picture? What did the email say?

What would be the purpose of talking to her? I'd just forward the picture to my husband along with contact info for my attorney.


It was not a recent picture from the date on the picture. There was nothing else in the email, just the attachment.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:35     Subject: Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My spouse has been in a long-term affair. When it first started, I had found out about it, but after counseling and working together thought it was over years ago. Recently, the person he has been seeing sent me an email with a picture of the two of them. That is when I found out that it had started up again.

I am curious if you have found out your spouse was cheating, if you spoke with the person they were cheating with. I'm considering calling her and saying, "It seems you have something to tell me, so wanted to give you the opportunity."

What would you do?

Thanks


Does your husband know she sent it? Do you think she did it to try to get reaction from you?
If she wants to talk to you, I’d hear her out. I’d get as much info from her but I’d give up no information from my perspective.


When I saw her name in the email, I went upstairs to ask why she would be emailing me. That's when the info about the affair came out. He thinks it was to get a reaction out of him because he had ended it. I'm not sure whether she wanted a reaction out of me beyond blowing up the marriage.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2019 11:30     Subject: Re:Spouse cheating, would you contact the person they were cheating with?
Anonymous wrote:Save the picture and use it as a bargaining chip in your divorce.


+1, There’s little hope that your marriage will ever be healthy again. Sorry.

The affair partner sounds like a true POS. They deserve each other. Don’t lower yourself to speaking with her.