I'm sorry...you simply do not bring a rambunctious, out of control 4 year old to visit a new mother and her newborn baby.

When he started to act up, one of those parents should have taken him outside to run off some energy. Bouncing on Op's furniture, chasing her pets, being wild around the new baby and busting into rooms uninvited was pretty bad.

Anonymous wrote:Eh. Is this your first child? He is 4 and some kids at that age are just really wild. Some aren't and will sit still and listen and quietly color- but some won't. Obviously I don't know these people so they could be lax parents BUT it is also very possible they just have a wild kid. Put wild kid in new house, with nothing for him to do except play with the pets, new baby, and explore and what you described is probably what would happen. Especially is his parents are trying to be somewhat social with the other adults there.

Feel free to not have him over until age 5 plus. It is probably stressful to the parents too to have him there acting in a way the recognize he shouldn't be. It doesn't sound like you have them over often anyhow

+1

In my eyes, the main mistake the parents made was not coming with a small backpack of toys to keep their four year old entertained in a new environment.

I agree with a previous poster that said you might want to keep a few toys on hand for older kids. Your child will grow into them anyway and you are bound to have other relatives that have children visit you.

Also, put the pets away before children arrive for a visit! I do this (I have dogs) for all playdates. Some kids understand how to interact with animals and some really, really don't, and it can be a headache to deal with. Even if they aren't chasing the pets around like your nephew was (extreme example), some kids don't know when to stop petting, pull tails, will try to offer treats, etc. Not worth the hassle, so crating or moving pets to a separate room is an easy fix. The child may not ever realize you even have pets.

I get it your the Mom of a newborn but your DH gave the thumbs up for this behavior and you also said nothing. Your child will act out as a toddler and a preschooler.... time to read up on child development stages.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you referring to him as your nephew?

It's not her nephew. It's her husband's nephew.

Nope. It's THEIR nephew.

Only if she accepts that. Seems like she doesn't. Which is fine.

That’s not really fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you referring to him as your nephew?

It's not her nephew. It's her husband's nephew.

Nope. It's THEIR nephew.

Only if she accepts that. Seems like she doesn't. Which is fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you referring to him as your nephew?

It's not her nephew. It's her husband's nephew.

Nope. It's THEIR nephew.

Eh. Is this your first child? He is 4 and some kids at that age are just really wild. Some aren't and will sit still and listen and quietly color- but some won't. Obviously I don't know these people so they could be lax parents BUT it is also very possible they just have a wild kid. Put wild kid in new house, with nothing for him to do except play with the pets, new baby, and explore and what you described is probably what would happen. Especially is his parents are trying to be somewhat social with the other adults there.

Feel free to not have him over until age 5 plus. It is probably stressful to the parents too to have him there acting in a way the recognize he shouldn't be. It doesn't sound like you have them over often anyhow

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you referring to him as your nephew?

It's not her nephew. It's her husband's nephew.

What? That makes him her nephew too. You don't consider your parents' siblings' spouses to be your aunts and uncles? I certainly do. And I consider my husband's siblings' kids my nieces and nephews. Spouses are family.

They are all dead, but no, I didn't. Related only by marriage.

I consider my aunts and uncle's spouses my aunts and uncles. They were MOSTLY all there before I was. BUT I don't consider my husband's nieces and nephews fully mine. They came in after me, and honestly that side of the family doesn't visit or invite us. Which is fine by me.

Is it hypocritical? Maybe. But it's my truth.

It’s not hypocritical because you don’t have a close relationship with those kids and their parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you referring to him as your nephew?

It's not her nephew. It's her husband's nephew.

What? That makes him her nephew too. You don't consider your parents' siblings' spouses to be your aunts and uncles? I certainly do. And I consider my husband's siblings' kids my nieces and nephews. Spouses are family.

They are all dead, but no, I didn't. Related only by marriage.

I consider my aunts and uncle's spouses my aunts and uncles. They were MOSTLY all there before I was. BUT I don't consider my husband's nieces and nephews fully mine. They came in after me, and honestly that side of the family doesn't visit or invite us. Which is fine by me.

Is it hypocritical? Maybe. But it's my truth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you referring to him as your nephew?

It's not her nephew. It's her husband's nephew.

What? That makes him her nephew too. You don't consider your parents' siblings' spouses to be your aunts and uncles? I certainly do. And I consider my husband's siblings' kids my nieces and nephews. Spouses are family.

They are all dead, but no, I didn't. Related only by marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you referring to him as your nephew?

It's not her nephew. It's her husband's nephew.

What? That makes him her nephew too. You don't consider your parents' siblings' spouses to be your aunts and uncles? I certainly do. And I consider my husband's siblings' kids my nieces and nephews. Spouses are family.

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you referring to him as your nephew?

It's not her nephew. It's her husband's nephew.

Anonymous wrote:Ok, if the mother of this holy terror has to ask “is his behavior ok”?, that’s a clear sign that they know their kid is a little sheet.

Yeah, what kind of parent allows their kid to bounce on someone else's living room furniture, torment their pets, repeatedly put their hands/face close to a brand new baby after being asked not to do that and then barge into a closed room w/o knocking or getting permission to do so.....

Those parents sound ridiculously clueless and lazy to boot.

Why aren't you referring to him as your nephew?

The truth is that 4 year old boys can be the absolute worst!

I speak from experience as the mother of a teen boy. Back in the day, when they were 4, his best friend nearly wrecked my house. His mother was there and was too gentle to stop him. Other 4 year olds aren't as uncontrollable, but if there's a moment in their life when they are, it's at 4-5 years old

It happens.
Now you know this, you should urge your husband to protect his child, and stand firm against other kids touching his baby. That's the most important thing. Your husband was probably taken off-guard and didn't want to make a fuss, but while your baby is un-vaccinated against major diseases, he SHOULD. His sister even asked if this was OK, so responsibility is shared here (she should have tried to control him better, too).

This boy isn't going to become an upstanding member of the family for a couple of years yet, so plan accordingly, OP