Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Started seeing therapist in Feb so I feel like it’s a little early to be having this conversation but she feels that she is getting worse. Therapist has brought it up and she is considering it. She feels her anxiety is so bad that it is debilitating her. She is going to a great college int the fall and to the outside world her life is great but I know she struggles. Some things she mentions also seem normal to me so I find it confusing. This year has been hard for her but will it get better without the medication is what I am wondering. I worry that this will be something that she might feel the need to take all her life. If that’s what she needs then I am okay with it but am wondering if she should be trying other things too. All her friends go to therapists and are on medication so this is totally normal for her. But I would like to have a more wholistic approach. Medication plus CBT etc etc.
Any light you shine on this willl be helpful. How did it go with your teen? Did medication help? Do you think the therapist is jumping into this too quickly? I asked her if she tried CBT and she says she doesn’t know and that the therapist doesn’t label things.
I intend to speak with the therapist soon. What kind of questions should I ask her?

My oldest son is 23 and was over for dinner complaining about how all the women he knows and dates are all on mental health drugs. He says they are all nuts, clinically nuts and doesn't understand why they are all drugged up, like it's a trend.

From what I see this is just how they cope with life. Whatever we are doing as a culture and society is creating a generation of people unable to cope.

Flame away, but this is just what I'm hearing.

Says a lot about what kind of a person you are, and where your son gets his jerky entitled opinions from, that you'd come onto a thread about where someone is asking for help for their child and offer some shitty sanctimonious crap about how our society is creating a generation unable to cope.

Bitch.

Anonymous wrote:As a parent with a daughter who has been down that path, I would tread very cautiously into the world of medication for anxiety. Our DD was worse-off with medication. We could see that before our DD could but she came around to the same conclusion. She still sees a therapist and that has been great. A more rigorous exercise regimen and Yoga has helped as well. We now believe medication was started too soon - and our DD was convinced that it was an easy solution to her anxiety issues. The psychiatrist should have done more before prescribing medication.

Read this albeit with a critic’s eye ~

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/05/27/the-troubled-history-of-psychiatry

+10

Medication for my daughter's anxiety was life changing. She did CBT and other therapies fir years, but at some point it was not enough. She hit a crisis that she could not deal with, and was not able to use what she had learned in therapy to cope. Medication gave her the ability to begin to manage her anxiety again. It was a godsend, and helped her not only get her life back to where she wanted it to be, but improve her coping with anxiety. She has reached new goals, challenged herself, tried new things, all with the support of therapy and medication.

I echo the PP above who uses the diabetes analogy about mental health medication. My daughter needs medication for her body to function properly, like a diabetic needs insulin. No shame, not looking to wean her off. If she chooses to find another medication/therapy combo, that is up to her and her doctor when she is an adult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Started seeing therapist in Feb so I feel like it’s a little early to be having this conversation but she feels that she is getting worse. Therapist has brought it up and she is considering it. She feels her anxiety is so bad that it is debilitating her. She is going to a great college int the fall and to the outside world her life is great but I know she struggles. Some things she mentions also seem normal to me so I find it confusing. This year has been hard for her but will it get better without the medication is what I am wondering. I worry that this will be something that she might feel the need to take all her life. If that’s what she needs then I am okay with it but am wondering if she should be trying other things too. All her friends go to therapists and are on medication so this is totally normal for her. But I would like to have a more wholistic approach. Medication plus CBT etc etc.
Any light you shine on this willl be helpful. How did it go with your teen? Did medication help? Do you think the therapist is jumping into this too quickly? I asked her if she tried CBT and she says she doesn’t know and that the therapist doesn’t label things.
I intend to speak with the therapist soon. What kind of questions should I ask her?

My oldest son is 23 and was over for dinner complaining about how all the women he knows and dates are all on mental health drugs. He says they are all nuts, clinically nuts and doesn't understand why they are all drugged up, like it's a trend.

From what I see this is just how they cope with life. Whatever we are doing as a culture and society is creating a generation of people unable to cope.

Flame away, but this is just what I'm hearing.

This post just made me glad my DD is a lesbian.

I have lifelong OCD and depression, am 40 years old so I have been around the block.

Your DD needs you to help her navigate this, so it's good youre willing to help. You can be most effective in supporting her by vetting doctors and therapists. If you are concerned about the treatment she's getting with her therapist, then you bring those concerns and educate your child. Keep in mind, and this is very important, there may be something your child is not telling you.

At this point the choice of therapist ship has sailed so to speak, because she is already seeing one and isn't asking to switch. You may not get anywhere with that. So now, you must be proactive in finding a psychiatrist who works with teens, one who is reputable, one who is conservative. Some psychiatrists will prescribe anyone anything. I wish it weren't so, but it is.
As far as medications go, they are transformative for me. I will take them my whole life, and I do not think there is any reason any of us should be concerned about taking a pill our whole lives, especially if the alternative is not being functional in society. It's a pill. It keeps me alive. However, there are ones I'd avoid with my teen. For instance, habit-forming medications are for only when other things have failed. This is where you can help your child, finding a doctor who will spend time with her, listen to her, and work with her to avoid side effects. It takes awhile to find the right fit. Hope this helps. Your DD is very fortunate she is starting early and not flailing around for years.

It's her choice 100% OP. I believe SSRIs are likely overprescribed for mild/moderate depression, but OCD is no joke. The only thing I would do as a parent is also insist that she get evidence-based OCD therapy. Someone posted a link to a specialist above - call him or someone similar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Started seeing therapist in Feb so I feel like it’s a little early to be having this conversation but she feels that she is getting worse. Therapist has brought it up and she is considering it. She feels her anxiety is so bad that it is debilitating her. She is going to a great college int the fall and to the outside world her life is great but I know she struggles. Some things she mentions also seem normal to me so I find it confusing. This year has been hard for her but will it get better without the medication is what I am wondering. I worry that this will be something that she might feel the need to take all her life. If that’s what she needs then I am okay with it but am wondering if she should be trying other things too. All her friends go to therapists and are on medication so this is totally normal for her. But I would like to have a more wholistic approach. Medication plus CBT etc etc.
Any light you shine on this willl be helpful. How did it go with your teen? Did medication help? Do you think the therapist is jumping into this too quickly? I asked her if she tried CBT and she says she doesn’t know and that the therapist doesn’t label things.
I intend to speak with the therapist soon. What kind of questions should I ask her?

My oldest son is 23 and was over for dinner complaining about how all the women he knows and dates are all on mental health drugs. He says they are all nuts, clinically nuts and doesn't understand why they are all drugged up, like it's a trend.

From what I see this is just how they cope with life. Whatever we are doing as a culture and society is creating a generation of people unable to cope.

Flame away, but this is just what I'm hearing.

Well, he sounds like a real catch!

pp from 8:42 here and want to answer your most recent questions. Finding a therapist at college is a great idea. She could start with going to the counseling center at school. The counselors there usually meet with students pretty short-term, so what they will likely do (and what I would recommend) is provide referrals in the community. Starting with the counseling center is great though because they will have those good referrals and your dd can find someone who is a good fit and continue to use her insurance normally. She could look up some of the treatment modalities people mentioned here like CBT etc (with your help if you'd like) to think about what she thinks would be helpful for her, and potentially the counseling center could help her find a good fit.

Depending on how this summer goes, you could discuss with your daughter if she would feel comfortable signing a release with this therapist and the school to be able to speak with you if necessary. You could explain to her that this would be in place as a safety mechanism if she ever needed additional help or support, NOT as a way for you to be privy to what goes on in therapy. It sounds like you are very respectful of that as her space and you could explain that. Even with a release, a good therapist will only tell you what you need to know to be helpful to her care - not the ins and outs of what she is sharing in therapy. If she is hesitant, or just generally if it is helpful, you all could speak together to her current therapist who could help her have a better understanding of what signing a release would look like in practice. But this way, if there is ever a crisis etc, her support team is in place. It is helpful for her and the therapeutic process to have her family involved in appropriate ways.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thank you all for your helpful comments. My DD turned 18 two days ago, I only mentioned her age because I know the therapist will not tell me things and that might help your answers in some way. Also I don’t need to know. It’s my DDs space and I am happy she has a place to go to. But before she made these big decisions I wanted to do the research and have some advice from people who have been there. So thank you.

From what my DD is telling me therapist does not give her any “homework” but has interwoven some strategies she can use when needed but it hasn’t helped.

When she heads off to college, what usually happens? Do kids fond therapists in their town for ongoing care? I wish we had started therapy a lot earlier so we don’t have to be experimenting on things this close to her leaving.

Many colleges have therapists available. My school had a university counseling center that was free and you could have a therapist and weekly or biweekly appointments arranged, or go in on a walk in, as needed basis. This was a small school in the deep south, so I'm sure big schools have even more than that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Started seeing therapist in Feb so I feel like it’s a little early to be having this conversation but she feels that she is getting worse. Therapist has brought it up and she is considering it. She feels her anxiety is so bad that it is debilitating her. She is going to a great college int the fall and to the outside world her life is great but I know she struggles. Some things she mentions also seem normal to me so I find it confusing. This year has been hard for her but will it get better without the medication is what I am wondering. I worry that this will be something that she might feel the need to take all her life. If that’s what she needs then I am okay with it but am wondering if she should be trying other things too. All her friends go to therapists and are on medication so this is totally normal for her. But I would like to have a more wholistic approach. Medication plus CBT etc etc.
Any light you shine on this willl be helpful. How did it go with your teen? Did medication help? Do you think the therapist is jumping into this too quickly? I asked her if she tried CBT and she says she doesn’t know and that the therapist doesn’t label things.
I intend to speak with the therapist soon. What kind of questions should I ask her?

My oldest son is 23 and was over for dinner complaining about how all the women he knows and dates are all on mental health drugs. He says they are all nuts, clinically nuts and doesn't understand why they are all drugged up, like it's a trend.

From what I see this is just how they cope with life. Whatever we are doing as a culture and society is creating a generation of people unable to cope.

Flame away, but this is just what I'm hearing.

Maybe your son is attracted to people like that. My son is not struggling with meeting people who are not nuts.

OP, often medication and therapy combined is the most effective approach. This is what the research shows and especially with anxiety there are many low side effect, very effective drugs that can make a big difference. Your daughter is about to enter a very stressful transition and if she's telling you this is debilitating to her, I encourage you to listen (which I think you are, don't mean to imply you aren't). Medication can be very very helpful. And it usually isn't harmful to try (in this case, we're not talking some of the more serious mental health drugs). You are so right that it's important to not solely do medication (at least in the beginning), and need to be coupled with therapy. But after she learns some skills it is possible that she will be on medication without therapy if she finds something effective for her.

I understand your hesitation, but also know that it is most likely (and sounds like) that your daughters therapist is not a psychiatrist who prescribes medication (not many psychiatrists provide therapy anymore, they primarily provide medication). I mention this because your dds therapist likely does not have the ability to prescribe medication, there is really not motivation for her to recommend it willy nilly. Medication for mental health saves lives. Truly. I feel like it gets a bad name, but it saves LIVES. It might take a little bit to find the correct dose and correct medication, like anything. But this summer would be a great time to do a trial so you can be around and she can hopefully find a good spot before college. You sound like a caring mom! It's also a GREAT time to partner with her and set a foundation for her adulthood that you are on her side, and want to work WITH her to help her mental health. That you trust her to know her own body and to sift through recommendations from therapists/professionals together. If you build that type of partnership, letting her lead and trusting her this summer, you will be so grateful later when she chooses to keep you involved in her medical care/decisions throughout college because she feels safe and understood.

And as for long term, it's natural to worry about this, but try as much as you can to focus on the present and what your daughter needs right now to help her symptoms. Life is long and she will likely navigate at different times when to take or not take medication. It certainly doesn't have to be long term, but it's also ok if it is. Think of it like her brain has a lower amount of a certain hormone that makes her body and brain run well and happily. If a medication helps replace that, it's often a good thing.

OP here, thank you all for your helpful comments. My DD turned 18 two days ago, I only mentioned her age because I know the therapist will not tell me things and that might help your answers in some way. Also I don’t need to know. It’s my DDs space and I am happy she has a place to go to. But before she made these big decisions I wanted to do the research and have some advice from people who have been there. So thank you.

From what my DD is telling me therapist does not give her any “homework” but has interwoven some strategies she can use when needed but it hasn’t helped.

When she heads off to college, what usually happens? Do kids fond therapists in their town for ongoing care? I wish we had started therapy a lot earlier so we don’t have to be experimenting on things this close to her leaving.

Please help your daughter get the medicine she needs. I was only on medicine for OCD for a short time college/post college and learned how to cope and have not been on it for 30 years. I would not have been able to handle college without it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Started seeing therapist in Feb so I feel like it’s a little early to be having this conversation but she feels that she is getting worse. Therapist has brought it up and she is considering it. She feels her anxiety is so bad that it is debilitating her. She is going to a great college int the fall and to the outside world her life is great but I know she struggles. Some things she mentions also seem normal to me so I find it confusing. This year has been hard for her but will it get better without the medication is what I am wondering. I worry that this will be something that she might feel the need to take all her life. If that’s what she needs then I am okay with it but am wondering if she should be trying other things too. All her friends go to therapists and are on medication so this is totally normal for her. But I would like to have a more wholistic approach. Medication plus CBT etc etc.
Any light you shine on this willl be helpful. How did it go with your teen? Did medication help? Do you think the therapist is jumping into this too quickly? I asked her if she tried CBT and she says she doesn’t know and that the therapist doesn’t label things.
I intend to speak with the therapist soon. What kind of questions should I ask her?

My oldest son is 23 and was over for dinner complaining about how all the women he knows and dates are all on mental health drugs. He says they are all nuts, clinically nuts and doesn't understand why they are all drugged up, like it's a trend.

From what I see this is just how they cope with life. Whatever we are doing as a culture and society is creating a generation of

Flame away, but this is just what I'm hearing.

And this is why there is still a stigma around mental health. Insensitive buffoons like PP’s son label people on meds as crazy. And PP sounds proud of him so we know where he gets it from

OP, please listen to your daughter and let her find her way with this. She doesn't sound like she's making this decision lightly. As others have said with medication and therapy maybe one day she will switch back to therapy only but obviously she is still struggling and is ready to try something else.

We have a kid who became seriously chronically ill in jr high. We learned quickly that with this illness we had to honor every symptom/thing our kid told us. Unfortunately the illness causes brain changes and our kid developed a seriously inflamed brain which causes mental illness and we know firsthand how it is so important to listen to and honor our kids in this area of their lives. It's not as if the first thing the therapist or your daughter did was decide to jump into medicine. Ours had to get medicated right off the bat because it had morphed into basically a life or death situation. You don't want to be at that point!

With your daughter headed off to college, now is a good time to figure out the medication levels. Transitioning to college is a very stressful time despite the excitement. Better to have her in the best mental head space possible as she heads off. This area is full of college kids who dropped out their first year due to stress and are now living at home getting their mental health in order.

If it helps think of it as encouraging brain health along with coping skills.

I would ask the therapist what sort of therapy strategies they use and ask what sort of tools they work with - usually therapists encourage concrete skill building. Ask if your DD gets "assignments" to work on and if they review them which develops coping skills. Ask for warning signs you should know about to tell if things are heading south and so on.