dump your friend (and Jane) and hang on to your financee

life is just too short to deal with this petty BS.

OMG, I HATE friends or family who are Realtors.

I used my husbands best friend and lost 2 houses I loved and ended up spending 3k more on commission.

Your fiance did NOTHING wrong- she was actually smart. Good job

i know a real estate agent whose very close friend of 40 years used a “stranger” real estate agent. My acquaintance was very hurt, but not because she saw her friend as a dollar sign. She felt that no one would have worked harder to represent her friend and protect friend’s interests than she would have. She felt like friend lacked confidence in her professional abilities.

Of course, as an outsider, I recognize that my acquaintance’s friend did absolutely nothing wrong and that it’s a good idea to separate friendship from business deals, but I mention this because Jane isn’t necessarily upset about the missed commission. She may also be embarrassed to face mutual friends who might ask questions/make assumptions about how you chose your real estate agent and why you didn’t use Jane.

I have had friends that have used friends and it turned into a disaster. I used my friend as a travel agent and I hated her services and feel like she didn't do much. It did temporarily affect our friendship. Because when you mix money for services with friendship, and something goes wrong, it is a minefield.

I guess you know that. From this point forward, has your fiancée thought about reaching out to the friend. I'm wondering where your fiancée is in this. Is she concerned? If so, she should try to reach out. I'm wondering if this communication through husbands is causing a bigger riff than needs to be. If your fiancée is concerned about losing this friendship, maybe she should have coffee or a glass of wine with her and explain. If, after that point, Jane is still holding a grudge, then her loss!

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s grandma is a realtor and we didn’t use her. Don’t mix family (or friends) and business.

+1

Definitely. Ever.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think there is anything else you need to do here.

You explained to Jane's fiance why you did not use her. If they want to ghost you nonetheless, that's their prerogative.

Your fiance thinks your friends only see her as a $ because that's how they are treating her.

FWIW I have a real estate license and if my friends go to someone else that is fine- if I can't find clients who are not friends/family this business is not for me.

x100000

There are too many variables, OP. What if your SO uses the guy you know, and the sale does not work out as your SO wanted? Which relationship is more important? The friend or your SO? Also, financial information (required when you deal with real estate) is sensitive, and not everyone wants their friends, family, acquaintances, etc. to have access to their information. It is perfectly understandable.

We have family members and friends in real estate, and we never use them, we only use the person we know is most experienced and best at their job, in our market. They get the job done, and very, very well- not our friends or family.

No hell way would I EVER use a friend as a realtor. My sister used a friend once. They were no longer friends at the end of that....

Just based on your OP, I could already tell Jane has terrible skills as a realtor and would never in a million years use her:

-She's pouting b/c she feels entitled to your business and didn't get it
-She cannot understand the boundary between business and personal
-She's immature
-She's burning her bridges by continuously ghosting you

To top it off, she's a terrible friend. I hope John breaks up with her. There's nothing you can do or should do. This is entirely on her.

Your SO has a right to use any agent she wants. No apology owed. It's rude for your agent friend to ask about it.

Proceed as if you have done nothing wrong. Continue to invite them as a couple to things as you normally would. Jane can decide to attend, or not. She may need a bit more time to mature yet. I would be tempted to come up with some really fun larger group activities to invite them to, just to see how long she will hold out.

Considering she's throwing a HIGHLY unprofessional temper tantrum, your fiance made a very wise decision not to hire Jane.

And now she's sealing the deal that you will never higher in the future.

We had a realtor/friend do this. She threw a huge fit when we didn't use her for our home purchase. Not only did she miss out on the business but now we aren't friends anymore.

Realtors ultimately get paid by the seller, not the buyer, so they always have a vested interest in getting a deal done. While they may represent the buyer they are working with the sellers agent to close a deal. Never use a friend!

Your fiancée did the right thing. We have never used a friend as a realtor though we have used acquaintances. Jane just needs to grow up and there is no need on your part to apologize or explain. You should congratulate your fiancées parents for instilling in her some financial discipline.

She’s not a smart realtor if she never reached out, it’s on her.

My husband’s grandma is a realtor and we didn’t use her. Don’t mix family (or friends) and business.