Anonymous wrote:I’m white and had the same problem.
Anonymous wrote:Hi there - I'm a 33 Black mom to be and worried about delivery. I know the basics but I keep reading about Black women not being listened to in the hospital and our pain not being taken seriously.
Has anyone been through this? What happened? How did you handle?
Scared in DC
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hi there - I'm a 33 Black mom to be and worried about delivery. I know the basics but I keep reading about Black women not being listened to in the hospital and our pain not being taken seriously.
Has anyone been through this? What happened? How did you handle?
Scared in DC
I’ll try to be nice s I try to articulate my point. Try not to see the world in black and white. No such thing as not being listened to because you are black. There are all kinds of personalities at the hospital and in life regardless of race. I am black but a first generation black and I think AA do themselves a disadvantage by always looking at the world this way. I’m not saying there aren’t ignorant people out there but at the same time that’s just people regardless of race.
PP: you really need to read up on this phenomenon. It is well-documented for several health conditions, but particularly childbirth. Which is why there is still a high mortality rate for middle class AA moms and babies.
—Different poster and AA mom.
OP, bring an advocate other than DH. This person’s job is to question/verify and document.
+1
I make this recommendation for all my pregnant friends, just because I think having a third party whose job it is to pay attention to the process and watch out for both mom and dad is extremely important. They need to understand your wishes and also understand the potential health challenges unique to AA women. While a doula would be nice, I also think a dedicated friend could serve this role also.
I don’t think the health challenges are that unique, it’s the racism. Let’s just call it what it is.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hi there - I'm a 33 Black mom to be and worried about delivery. I know the basics but I keep reading about Black women not being listened to in the hospital and our pain not being taken seriously.
Has anyone been through this? What happened? How did you handle?
Scared in DC
I’ll try to be nice s I try to articulate my point. Try not to see the world in black and white. No such thing as not being listened to because you are black. There are all kinds of personalities at the hospital and in life regardless of race. I am black but a first generation black and I think AA do themselves a disadvantage by always looking at the world this way. I’m not saying there aren’t ignorant people out there but at the same time that’s just people regardless of race.
PP: you really need to read up on this phenomenon. It is well-documented for several health conditions, but particularly childbirth. Which is why there is still a high mortality rate for middle class AA moms and babies.
—Different poster and AA mom.
OP, bring an advocate other than DH. This person’s job is to question/verify and document.
+1
I make this recommendation for all my pregnant friends, just because I think having a third party whose job it is to pay attention to the process and watch out for both mom and dad is extremely important. They need to understand your wishes and also understand the potential health challenges unique to AA women. While a doula would be nice, I also think a dedicated friend could serve this role also.
I don’t think the health challenges are that unique, it’s the racism. Let’s just call it what it is.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hi there - I'm a 33 Black mom to be and worried about delivery. I know the basics but I keep reading about Black women not being listened to in the hospital and our pain not being taken seriously.
Has anyone been through this? What happened? How did you handle?
Scared in DC
I’ll try to be nice s I try to articulate my point. Try not to see the world in black and white. No such thing as not being listened to because you are black. There are all kinds of personalities at the hospital and in life regardless of race. I am black but a first generation black and I think AA do themselves a disadvantage by always looking at the world this way. I’m not saying there aren’t ignorant people out there but at the same time that’s just people regardless of race.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hi there - I'm a 33 Black mom to be and worried about delivery. I know the basics but I keep reading about Black women not being listened to in the hospital and our pain not being taken seriously.
Has anyone been through this? What happened? How did you handle?
Scared in DC
I’ll try to be nice s I try to articulate my point. Try not to see the world in black and white. No such thing as not being listened to because you are black. There are all kinds of personalities at the hospital and in life regardless of race. I am black but a first generation black and I think AA do themselves a disadvantage by always looking at the world this way. I’m not saying there aren’t ignorant people out there but at the same time that’s just people regardless of race.
PP: you really need to read up on this phenomenon. It is well-documented for several health conditions, but particularly childbirth. Which is why there is still a high mortality rate for middle class AA moms and babies.
—Different poster and AA mom.
OP, bring an advocate other than DH. This person’s job is to question/verify and document.
+1
I make this recommendation for all my pregnant friends, just because I think having a third party whose job it is to pay attention to the process and watch out for both mom and dad is extremely important. They need to understand your wishes and also understand the potential health challenges unique to AA women. While a doula would be nice, I also think a dedicated friend could serve this role also.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hi there - I'm a 33 Black mom to be and worried about delivery. I know the basics but I keep reading about Black women not being listened to in the hospital and our pain not being taken seriously.
Has anyone been through this? What happened? How did you handle?
Scared in DC
I’ll try to be nice s I try to articulate my point. Try not to see the world in black and white. No such thing as not being listened to because you are black. There are all kinds of personalities at the hospital and in life regardless of race. I am black but a first generation black and I think AA do themselves a disadvantage by always looking at the world this way. I’m not saying there aren’t ignorant people out there but at the same time that’s just people regardless of race.
PP: you really need to read up on this phenomenon. It is well-documented for several health conditions, but particularly childbirth. Which is why there is still a high mortality rate for middle class AA moms and babies.
—Different poster and AA mom.
OP, bring an advocate other than DH. This person’s job is to question/verify and document.
Anonymous wrote:This is purely anecdotal but my cousin and I both had a life threatening pregnancy condition. Me in the UK and she in the US. We are both black.
In England, as soon as it was discovered during my 20 wk monitoring visit, I wasn’t even allowed to leave the hospital to get my overnight things. I stayed in hospital for 3 months and was monitored EVERY 15 MINUTES without fail with daily blood test as this is a condition that can escalate suddenly and kill you.
I was taken to the labour ward if monitoring showed something worrisome and there was the risk that they would have to deliver the baby to save me. They would make every attempt to stabilize me in the labour ward and return me to my room once I was stable. This happened at least 3 times a week.
My cousin was in the US with the same condition and was sent home and told to monitor herself at home and call an ambulance if she got a worrisome result. She got a worrisome result and called an ambulance and then her OB. She died while on the phone to her OB. She would never have been allowed home in England with that condition. This was a smart upper middle class young lady with a PhD. She was well versed in her condition but the dr would not admit her Even though she pleaded with her.
Anonymous wrote:This is purely anecdotal but my cousin and I both had a life threatening pregnancy condition. Me in the UK and she in the US. We are both black.
In England, as soon as it was discovered during my 20 wk monitoring visit, I wasn’t even allowed to leave the hospital to get my overnight things. I stayed in hospital for 3 months and was monitored EVERY 15 MINUTES without fail with daily blood test as this is a condition that can escalate suddenly and kill you.
I was taken to the labour ward if monitoring showed something worrisome and there was the risk that they would have to deliver the baby to save me. They would make every attempt to stabilize me in the labour ward and return me to my room once I was stable. This happened at least 3 times a week.
My cousin was in the US with the same condition and was sent home and told to monitor herself at home and call an ambulance if she got a worrisome result. She got a worrisome result and called an ambulance and then her OB. She died while on the phone to her OB. She would never have been allowed home in England with that condition. This was a smart upper middle class young lady with a PhD. She was well versed in her condition but the dr would not admit her Even though she pleaded with her.