Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's worrying at age 8 about what he'll be doing FIVE YEARS INTO THE FUTURE and you are feeding that worry but trying to get him optimal training so he can get on the high school team?

I wouldn’t say he was worried. That’s you. Nor was I asking about any sort of optimal training. That’s all you.

Me, I was just wondering why there’s a big difference between his skills in practice and what shows up during games.

I would say that he has long-term goals and that we will support him as long as they remain his goals. He rarely changes his mind. I wish he would because there’s a lot about the soccer scene I don’t like.

No, OP. You came back to say you want him to go to travel in a few years but he doesn't seem ready. You should know that's really weird.

This is a question we continue to ponder with our youngest, who is 10. Our older three range from pretty good to outstanding as travel soccer players, and they all took to the game immediately and were strong, aggressive, confident players. My eldest was hindered some by our lack of knowledge of the sport at the time. We didn't get her good skills training until she was 11 or 12, and she also was never particularly fast, which is a big disadvantage.

Having learned our lesson, we started the youngest on skills when he was 6 or 7 and figured he'd quickly become a good player since he was very fast, pretty coordinated, and stronger than the average kid. But his first couple of years were kind of painful to watch. At first it was as if he wanted to avoid touching the ball in games, then he progressed to the point where he was involved in the games, but constantly deferred to other players. Last year he started to seem focused and effective on the field about half the time, and he was frequently quite good during those games while being a nonentity in the others. This year he makes at least some great plays in every game, and occasionally plays very well for the entirety of a game. He is very good at passing and seems to see the game well. But his coach still tells him that he's sometimes the worst player on the field and sometimes the best, and 100% of the difference is where his head is at.

It seems to us that everything is starting to click for him, but we still don't understand what causes the lack of focus that keeps him from being locked in all game long. He doesn't show any signs of ADHD off the field, and he absolutely loves the sport, practices, and games. He's not particularly anxious or too much of a perfectionist. We think part of it is he's just not particularly aggressive or competitive by nature, so he's not driven by the desire to win that motivated our other kids and a lot of his teammates. Or it may just be a maturity issue. As long as he continues to love it, we will support him and continue to try our hardest not to get frustrated when he seems to lose the plot. It's hard though!

Anonymous wrote:DS is 8 and a decent player, but the speed and skills he shows in practice never make it into game situations. Then it’s like he’s moving in slo mo. He hesitates, takes to long to pass, etc. Coach says things will click for him when he’s older. Does anyone have any experience with this or could it be that he just doesn’t handle the pressure of games well. If it’s a pressure thing is there anything anyone can do to help him?

At 8 all you should be concerned with is his love of the game. If that is there and he spends time with the ball, things will click into place. Water seeks it's own level.

I remember well the very day my oldest 'got it'. It was at a U13 practice and I can't even tell you exactly what it was but I looked out there and knew. From that day forward, we never again talked about soccer unless he brought something up. He went on to be a very good D1 college player.

Also, his younger siblings reaped the benefits of my epiphany. I learned to provide encouragement and taxi service and not much more.

Anonymous wrote:He's worrying at age 8 about what he'll be doing FIVE YEARS INTO THE FUTURE and you are feeding that worry but trying to get him optimal training so he can get on the high school team?

I wouldn’t say he was worried. That’s you. Nor was I asking about any sort of optimal training. That’s all you.

Me, I was just wondering why there’s a big difference between his skills in practice and what shows up during games.

I would say that he has long-term goals and that we will support him as long as they remain his goals. He rarely changes his mind. I wish he would because there’s a lot about the soccer scene I don’t like.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, There are technical skills and then there is game vision, awareness, etc. It sounds like your child does fine with the basics of dribbling, passing which is great for this age. It can take a while to learn how to move and position during game play, and to make decisions quickly.

There are always those kids who have a natural instinct for this but a lot of it needs to be taught and you need a certain level of maturity for it to click.

Sometimes it doesn't click at all but you won't know until he's older. It's a kind of social skill you know.

I agree with this. If it is lack of confidence or fear of making mistakes, do you see these traits in other areas of DS's life?

My son is similar, and looking back, I wish I had addressed the emotional concerns that manifested themselves in sports and school at an earlier age. If you don't believe in yourself, it is hard to be good at anything. I would have started counseling earlier to promote a more positive self image and outlook in my son in all areas of his life. That's much more important than any sports training.

If your son learns to be happy and is able to try, fail, and try again, that will serve him better in life than playing travel soccer. Some kids come by confidence and resiliency naturally, but others need to work at it.

PP, thanks for your time thoughtful post. I had not connected this to lack of confidence or a fear of making mistakes. DS is confident in other areas of his life, but not so much in soccer. Until this season we’ve mostly had parent coaches that focused on the strongest players.p and kindness of ignored the other players. I think he has it in his head that he’s not as strong as other kids. He is kind of perfectionistic and sensitive to other kids blaming him for mistakes. So maybe an abundance of caution is making him slow down during games.

Any ideas on how to help him with confidence on the field?

He's worrying at age 8 about what he'll be doing FIVE YEARS INTO THE FUTURE and you are feeding that worry but trying to get him optimal training so he can get on the high school team?

^^^^ right now

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:your kid is 8 relax, and you are worried bout how he handles pressure in a game? I wonder where is is feeling the most pressure from.

Well, we’ve been told he has to move into travel in the next two years. He’s nowhere close to travel level in game play.

We don’t pressure him at all, but as a former player myself I,m puzzled by the fact that skills that are there in practice - ball handling, dribbling, strong passing, powerful kicks - all disappear during games. It’s like he’s two different players. I don’t see other kids with such a big difference between practices and games. That’s why I’m asking.

Personally I think soccer has gotten way too competitive. When I was a kid there was no such thing as travel soccer.

Why do you "have to" do travel? Says who? What happens if you don't?

OP. DS is in a K-12 private. Only the best players get to play on the JV and Varsity teams. His ambitions may change but right no worries he wants to play on the school team. It seems only the travel players make even the JV team.

As for travel soccer back in the day, I played AYSO on the west coast back in the 80s. We didn’t not have travel teams that I was aware of in our area. Unlike in the .dc area where the best rec kids move to travel, we had mostly the same kids from our neighborhood on the team for several years.

Anonymous wrote:OP, There are technical skills and then there is game vision, awareness, etc. It sounds like your child does fine with the basics of dribbling, passing which is great for this age. It can take a while to learn how to move and position during game play, and to make decisions quickly.

There are always those kids who have a natural instinct for this but a lot of it needs to be taught and you need a certain level of maturity for it to click.

Sometimes it doesn't click at all but you won't know until he's older. It's a kind of social skill you know.

I agree with this. If it is lack of confidence or fear of making mistakes, do you see these traits in other areas of DS's life?

My son is similar, and looking back, I wish I had addressed the emotional concerns that manifested themselves in sports and school at an earlier age. If you don't believe in yourself, it is hard to be good at anything. I would have started counseling earlier to promote a more positive self image and outlook in my son in all areas of his life. That's much more important than any sports training.

If your son learns to be happy and is able to try, fail, and try again, that will serve him better in life than playing travel soccer. Some kids come by confidence and resiliency naturally, but others need to work at it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:your kid is 8 relax, and you are worried bout how he handles pressure in a game? I wonder where is is feeling the most pressure from.

Well, we’ve been told he has to move into travel in the next two years. He’s nowhere close to travel level in game play.

We don’t pressure him at all, but as a former player myself I,m puzzled by the fact that skills that are there in practice - ball handling, dribbling, strong passing, powerful kicks - all disappear during games. It’s like he’s two different players. I don’t see other kids with such a big difference between practices and games. That’s why I’m asking.

Personally I think soccer has gotten way too competitive. When I was a kid there was no such thing as travel soccer.

He is 8! I really wouldn't worry at this age but I have an 11 year old like this. Has great skills but just it's harder for him to follow all the moving pieces of the game well enough even at this age. He plays defense as his "area" is more contained. He wouldn't survive in midfield, for example.

Anonymous wrote:DS is 8 and a decent player, but the speed and skills he shows in practice never make it into game situations. Then it’s like he’s moving in slo mo. He hesitates, takes to long to pass, etc. Coach says things will click for him when he’s older. Does anyone have any experience with this or could it be that he just doesn’t handle the pressure of games well. If it’s a pressure thing is there anything anyone can do to help him?

Is it possible that he's very young in biological age (versus chronological age) compared with the game opponents? Kids who are late maturers and have birthdays late in the calendar year can, of course, face a multi-year disadvantage in biological age within their age group. When that happens, it looks like they're standing still b/c the "older" kids have the biggest advantage in visual processing and reaction time, not just in physical strength. The higher intensity and workloads of games may bring this out . . .

OP, There are technical skills and then there is game vision, awareness, etc. It sounds like your child does fine with the basics of dribbling, passing which is great for this age. It can take a while to learn how to move and position during game play, and to make decisions quickly.

There are always those kids who have a natural instinct for this but a lot of it needs to be taught and you need a certain level of maturity for it to click.

Sometimes it doesn't click at all but you won't know until he's older. It's a kind of social skill you know.

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2836827-what-its-like-being-the-biggest-dude-in-cfb?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial

soccer doesn't work like this

What’s wrong with rec? Lots of kids enjoy it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:your kid is 8 relax, and you are worried bout how he handles pressure in a game? I wonder where is is feeling the most pressure from.

Well, we’ve been told he has to move into travel in the next two years. He’s nowhere close to travel level in game play.

We don’t pressure him at all, but as a former player myself I,m puzzled by the fact that skills that are there in practice - ball handling, dribbling, strong passing, powerful kicks - all disappear during games. It’s like he’s two different players. I don’t see other kids with such a big difference between practices and games. That’s why I’m asking.

Personally I think soccer has gotten way too competitive. When I was a kid there was no such thing as travel soccer.

Travel didnt exist back when? AYSO was established in 1964. I played travel on the east coast in the early 80s. Way older kids than me played travel and it was expensive back then too with trips out of state and country.