Anonymous wrote:My 8 year old notices that his teacher favors one kid over others. He dislike her because of this. He has brought this subject up to the teacher but the teacher tells him no, she is still calling on random kids. But, my son insist she can end up calling one particular kid like 5 times in a day and the others are not being called on. My child also says another boy has complained out loud and now the teacher took his points(reward) away. Now, my son doesn't want his rewards taken away so can't even verbalize what he sees as unfair in the classroom so he comes home and tells me. And it was more of a complaint last week when it was teacher appreciation week and he said he didn't appreciate her ignoring him and other kids.

What to do? Any advice? So far, i just told him to hang in there, it's just another 4 weeks. But, what happens if the teacher is similar in the next grade.

OMG. This can't be real. Maybe she calls on that one kid because he actually knows the correct answers. It's May. Get over it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD says that her teacher has favorites. Her friends confirm it. My response is pretty much in the 'Okay, so what?' range. So, teachers are human, and have bias. Unless it is negatively impacting children, there isn't any need to do anything about it.

And it is worthwhile, having a conversation with your child about how fair and equal are not the same thing. The teacher's job is to make sure that everyone's needs are met, and that may mean that not everyone is treated equally.

Agreed, but most teachers are self serving, and reward kids from a personal standpoint instead of a professional one.

Eh, welcome to life. May as well get used to it.

My life is not perfect, but it’s fairer and better than school ever was. Teachers are scars.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD says that her teacher has favorites. Her friends confirm it. My response is pretty much in the 'Okay, so what?' range. So, teachers are human, and have bias. Unless it is negatively impacting children, there isn't any need to do anything about it.

And it is worthwhile, having a conversation with your child about how fair and equal are not the same thing. The teacher's job is to make sure that everyone's needs are met, and that may mean that not everyone is treated equally.

Agreed, but most teachers are self serving, and reward kids from a personal standpoint instead of a professional one.

Right. "Self-serving" is the first description that comes to mind when I'm making a blanket statement about teachers.

My dd is a top student. She felt like her teacher very rarely called on her. She liked her teacher and so she raised the issue with her teacher one day. Her teacher said that it’s more important for her to call on students who may not grasp a subject to see what they know/understand than it is to call on the students who have already demonstrated mastery. Dd thought her teacher also tended to call on students who weren’t paying attention, so she would sometimes try to look like she wasn’t paying attention, in the hopes that it would increase her chances of being called on. She said her teacher didn’t fall for it. I never considered intervening, but I am a mildly concerned because I experienced the same thing as an elementary school student and it lead to my giving up raising my hand. I had a rude awakening in college, when class participation often counted for 10% of the grade in a class. I was not used to participating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD says that her teacher has favorites. Her friends confirm it. My response is pretty much in the 'Okay, so what?' range. So, teachers are human, and have bias. Unless it is negatively impacting children, there isn't any need to do anything about it.

And it is worthwhile, having a conversation with your child about how fair and equal are not the same thing. The teacher's job is to make sure that everyone's needs are met, and that may mean that not everyone is treated equally.

Agreed, but most teachers are self serving, and reward kids from a personal standpoint instead of a professional one.

Who are you to make a statement like that? No wonder teachers hate their F'ing jobs. They deserve so much more money and respect.

"Fair is not always equal" is a well-known statement of inclusiveness. If you treat all students "equally" you deny access to some. People whose life experience includes disability issues/awareness know that.

+1

High IQ too.

I was just talking with a good friend about teacher favorites. My friend has two boys who went through the same teachers, and she says it was pretty clear that the teachers were always more positively gushing about her younger son than her older son during parent teacher conferences. The praise always seemed way more warm and heartfelt when it was about the younger one, whereas the positive comments seemed polite and scripted when it came to her older son. I know both kids, and I can understand why. The older one isn't a bad kid, but he can be difficult at times, and he's been mean to my kid when he doesn't get his way. The younger kid is super sweet and goes out of his way to be kind to everyone. He's just a delight to be around.

I don't think its realistic to expect teachers to be completely unbiased. I expect them to try and hold this bias in check so they can teach everyone effectively, but I realize they are human beings too. Unless we can replace teachers with robots, they are going to have their favorite kids--the ones that make their day brighter and their job easier-- and their not so favorite kids--the ones that really try their patience. I just try to teach my kid that being kind and considerate pays off in how others view and treat you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD says that her teacher has favorites. Her friends confirm it. My response is pretty much in the 'Okay, so what?' range. So, teachers are human, and have bias. Unless it is negatively impacting children, there isn't any need to do anything about it.

And it is worthwhile, having a conversation with your child about how fair and equal are not the same thing. The teacher's job is to make sure that everyone's needs are met, and that may mean that not everyone is treated equally.

Agreed, but most teachers are self serving, and reward kids from a personal standpoint instead of a professional one.

Eh, welcome to life. May as well get used to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD says that her teacher has favorites. Her friends confirm it. My response is pretty much in the 'Okay, so what?' range. So, teachers are human, and have bias. Unless it is negatively impacting children, there isn't any need to do anything about it.

And it is worthwhile, having a conversation with your child about how fair and equal are not the same thing. The teacher's job is to make sure that everyone's needs are met, and that may mean that not everyone is treated equally.

Agreed, but most teachers are self serving, and reward kids from a personal standpoint instead of a professional one.

Who are you to make a statement like that? No wonder teachers hate their F'ing jobs. They deserve so much more money and respect.

"Fair is not always equal" is a well-known statement of inclusiveness. If you treat all students "equally" you deny access to some. People whose life experience includes disability issues/awareness know that.

It's interesting that OPs post does not refer to OP's kid not being called on, but the kid observing the teacher's apparent favoritism with regard to other kids. It most certainly could be that the kids are reading the teacher accurately, but that also would raise the question why now. I also wonder--what is the opinion of OP's kid and the other kids re: the kid who is being called on more? Is some kind of animus towards that kid driving their judgment here?

I agree that with end of the year, no point in treating this as a school issue. But good opportunity to explore the issue with the kid: how can we be sure if what we are seeing in unfairness and not something else? how to we decide how to handle those situations? Do we always have to act? These are real questions and worth exploring.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD says that her teacher has favorites. Her friends confirm it. My response is pretty much in the 'Okay, so what?' range. So, teachers are human, and have bias. Unless it is negatively impacting children, there isn't any need to do anything about it.

And it is worthwhile, having a conversation with your child about how fair and equal are not the same thing. The teacher's job is to make sure that everyone's needs are met, and that may mean that not everyone is treated equally.

Agreed, but most teachers are self serving, and reward kids from a personal standpoint instead of a professional one.

Who are you to make a statement like that? No wonder teachers hate their F'ing jobs. They deserve so much more money and respect.

Anonymous wrote:DD says that her teacher has favorites. Her friends confirm it. My response is pretty much in the 'Okay, so what?' range. So, teachers are human, and have bias. Unless it is negatively impacting children, there isn't any need to do anything about it.

And it is worthwhile, having a conversation with your child about how fair and equal are not the same thing. The teacher's job is to make sure that everyone's needs are met, and that may mean that not everyone is treated equally.

Agreed, but most teachers are self serving, and reward kids from a personal standpoint instead of a professional one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord. Don't do anything about this at all. Just listen to your kid's whining, nod your head, and remind him to behave in class. You have no idea whether or not his perception is accurate, and even if it is he needs to deal with it (without your unnecessary intervention).

Way to support the OP there. Since it's the end of the year, probably can't do anything but that doesn't mean the kid is not telling the truth.

Doesn't mean they are either telling the truth either.

And a child's "truth" isn't always the accurate truth. Surely you can realize that?

And the child went to the teacher already. There is no more to do here unless you want to be that Mommy that sends the "My Larla says you aren't being fair!!"

OP, wake up. This is your child's perception and they said they even went to the teacher to complain. Your kid is a PIA and you getting all huffy about it is reassuring them they can act this way. Just stop

DD says that her teacher has favorites. Her friends confirm it. My response is pretty much in the 'Okay, so what?' range. So, teachers are human, and have bias. Unless it is negatively impacting children, there isn't any need to do anything about it.

And it is worthwhile, having a conversation with your child about how fair and equal are not the same thing. The teacher's job is to make sure that everyone's needs are met, and that may mean that not everyone is treated equally.

Anonymous wrote:Good lord. Don't do anything about this at all. Just listen to your kid's whining, nod your head, and remind him to behave in class. You have no idea whether or not his perception is accurate, and even if it is he needs to deal with it (without your unnecessary intervention).

Way to support the OP there. Since it's the end of the year, probably can't do anything but that doesn't mean the kid is not telling the truth.