Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 22:40     Subject: playdate
Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids, and with all their various activities, there are times during the year when we really are too busy to accommodate any playdates for a couple of months. So, sometimes, "we're busy" actually means that we're busy. I do always try to circle back and check in with those invitations that I had pushed off.


I have 3 kids and we have events every day. However, all my children are not busy every hour of every day. I may not be able or want to host the play date but my kid can go to a local friend’s house for 2 hours. It is usually right after school. Depending on the time of year, the other parent may offer to pick up and drive my child home.

This is a very busy time for us. Kids play 2 sports each, Scouts, after school activities.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 22:27     Subject: Re:playdate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son absolutely loves this girl at his preschool and begs to have her come over all the time. I finally reached out to the parents with a couple weekend options we were free.

She wrote back and said they had no free time for 2 entire months.

Anyway, I don't know the parents well at all, so it was hard to be offended, but you can bet I most certainly took the hint...


I think some people really are this overscheduled


+1. Especially this time of the year, there’s the end of the year this and that going on, in addition to the “normal” busyness. I am trying to get together with a friend and we’re looking at mid-end June, that’s the earliest both of us are available.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 21:02     Subject: Re:playdate
My kid is almost 3 and I always say yes to play dates. I can imagine this changing when he gets older and might have real preferences about who he wants to play with.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 20:59     Subject: Re:playdate
Anonymous wrote:My son absolutely loves this girl at his preschool and begs to have her come over all the time. I finally reached out to the parents with a couple weekend options we were free.

She wrote back and said they had no free time for 2 entire months.

Anyway, I don't know the parents well at all, so it was hard to be offended, but you can bet I most certainly took the hint...


I think some people really are this overscheduled
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 15:41     Subject: playdate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:NP here. Actual question, how common is rejecting a play date? If my kid likes and wants to play with another kid, I can usually carve out an hour or so to get together at the park or attend a birthday party to make this happen. So maybe you have to make small talk with another parent you don’t know well. It doesn’t seem like a huge issue.

If your schedule is legitimately full, why not just say let’s circle back in x month once xyz slows down?

If the kids genuinely don’t get along then just say they’re going through a tough spot and let’s see how the friendship is doing on a couple months.

How often are people being invited on play dates they don’t want to attend? I guess I just haven’t experienced this with my 2 and 4 y/o yet? Most of the time there is build up in friendship with the parent before the play date invite.


I can speak to that as the parent of a child who needed help with social skills. During his preschool years, DS was a kid with no social skills who was often playing by himself while other kids played with each other. Not aggressive, not mean, just off by himself or occasionally, looking to enter a group but not really knowing how. Teachers recommended one-on-one playdates as a way to improve social skills. I would look to kids in whom he'd display occasional interest and who seemed nice as possible playmates. I bet those parents wondered why since their child probably didn't talk about mine at all at home.

I was pretty sensitive to people turning us down, and if they didn't want to, I'd prefer they be direct about it. I don't want to keep chasing you if you suggest "maybe next time!" and you don't mean it.

Now DS is in K and has quite a few friends. He's really blossomed in the last year.



Awww! If a parent came up to me and said their child enjoyed playing with mine, I’d be happy to set up a play date. I’m glad to hear your son has blossomed and is making lots of friends.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 15:11     Subject: playdate
I have 3 kids, and with all their various activities, there are times during the year when we really are too busy to accommodate any playdates for a couple of months. So, sometimes, "we're busy" actually means that we're busy. I do always try to circle back and check in with those invitations that I had pushed off.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 14:07     Subject: Re:playdate
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My son absolutely loves this girl at his preschool and begs to have her come over all the time. I finally reached out to the parents with a couple weekend options we were free.

She wrote back and said they had no free time for 2 entire months.

Anyway, I don't know the parents well at all, so it was hard to be offended, but you can bet I most certainly took the hint...


Are you the OP?


Nope, just a commenter.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 13:55     Subject: playdate
Anonymous wrote:NP here. Actual question, how common is rejecting a play date? If my kid likes and wants to play with another kid, I can usually carve out an hour or so to get together at the park or attend a birthday party to make this happen. So maybe you have to make small talk with another parent you don’t know well. It doesn’t seem like a huge issue.

If your schedule is legitimately full, why not just say let’s circle back in x month once xyz slows down?

If the kids genuinely don’t get along then just say they’re going through a tough spot and let’s see how the friendship is doing on a couple months.

How often are people being invited on play dates they don’t want to attend? I guess I just haven’t experienced this with my 2 and 4 y/o yet? Most of the time there is build up in friendship with the parent before the play date invite.


I can speak to that as the parent of a child who needed help with social skills. During his preschool years, DS was a kid with no social skills who was often playing by himself while other kids played with each other. Not aggressive, not mean, just off by himself or occasionally, looking to enter a group but not really knowing how. Teachers recommended one-on-one playdates as a way to improve social skills. I would look to kids in whom he'd display occasional interest and who seemed nice as possible playmates. I bet those parents wondered why since their child probably didn't talk about mine at all at home.

I was pretty sensitive to people turning us down, and if they didn't want to, I'd prefer they be direct about it. I don't want to keep chasing you if you suggest "maybe next time!" and you don't mean it.

Now DS is in K and has quite a few friends. He's really blossomed in the last year.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 13:49     Subject: playdate
In that case, some parents really want their girls to play with girls. And may think your boy is just not a great boy.

It's always better to give yourself, your child or the other child a chance to become friends. All you have to do is agree on 1 meeting. If it doesn't work out, don't continue. If you become busy, and they ask again, just say, too much is happening.
There are several playdates I think will be ok but we've been too busy. We're not doing anything particularly special but conflicts of scheduling a playdate.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 13:42     Subject: playdate
NP here. Actual question, how common is rejecting a play date? If my kid likes and wants to play with another kid, I can usually carve out an hour or so to get together at the park or attend a birthday party to make this happen. So maybe you have to make small talk with another parent you don’t know well. It doesn’t seem like a huge issue.

If your schedule is legitimately full, why not just say let’s circle back in x month once xyz slows down?

If the kids genuinely don’t get along then just say they’re going through a tough spot and let’s see how the friendship is doing on a couple months.

How often are people being invited on play dates they don’t want to attend? I guess I just haven’t experienced this with my 2 and 4 y/o yet? Most of the time there is build up in friendship with the parent before the play date invite.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 12:20     Subject: Re:playdate
Anonymous wrote:My son absolutely loves this girl at his preschool and begs to have her come over all the time. I finally reached out to the parents with a couple weekend options we were free.

She wrote back and said they had no free time for 2 entire months.

Anyway, I don't know the parents well at all, so it was hard to be offended, but you can bet I most certainly took the hint...


Are you the OP?
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 12:19     Subject: playdate
Anonymous wrote:“I am going to have to decline your offer” ... lol.


LOL. YES! OP of that thread. Say, that. For real. LOL.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2019 12:17     Subject: Re:playdate
My son absolutely loves this girl at his preschool and begs to have her come over all the time. I finally reached out to the parents with a couple weekend options we were free.

She wrote back and said they had no free time for 2 entire months.

Anyway, I don't know the parents well at all, so it was hard to be offended, but you can bet I most certainly took the hint...