Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, are you saying that private schools are full of awful little brats? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. Seriously, though, maybe the school is too small. More students = more choices for friends.

Right, because there is no bullying at public schools. Go away, troll.

SO defensive. Schools are smaller, parents are richer. Risk and reward.

We moved at 8th after bullying in 6th & 7th and wish I'd done it after 7th. It took a major toll. Things are much better in the new high school.

Even if you change for MS and again for high school, I'd vote to get you child away from a bullying situation asap because it really does affect them.

We did. Wish I did it a year sooner than I did.

OP, I posted our family's story, which is more complicated but shares some features, earlier this year. We moved DD mid-September (2 weeks into the year), losing the tuition but gaining back our 7th grader.

With two weeks to go before our public school year's end, it was 4,000% worth it.

I say this as a long-term educator, product myself of a highly-regarded all-girls' school. Our daughter had been in private schools throughout her (young) life, including a feeder to a big 3 in DC, from which we moved prior to her 3rd grade. DH and I never imagined that she'd be anywhere but a great independent school with the very best facilities, etc., etc.,. In hindsight, that was EXACTLY our problem: we didn't 'imagine' anything other than our own 'dreams' of the 'very best education money could buy,' rather than 'imagining' the 'very best educational environment for the daughter we had.'

It is VERY difficult for me to write the above statement, especially as someone who spent years not only as an educator but also as one who advocated for equality education for those who are underserved by our current system. I'm admitting, in other words, my own HUGE blindspots, my privilege, my bias, my -isms, my everything that almost trapped me into failing my daughter. Thank heavens things changed.

If people need to flame me here, go ahead, but I hope you don't, mainly because other moms and dads reading this may be in similar situations where they're just recognizing that there's a crisis they need to remediate and they need to see opportunities of support as much as possible. In our case, what's done is done and what's now in front of us is a MUCH healthier kid that we recognize again as our daughter -- whew -- and some hard work ahead of us for ourselves.

A long time ago, a friend shared her most frazzled post-partum moment in which she screamed at her husband, who was making what she considered an horrific parenting blunder "THERE ARE NO DO-OVERS!" We all laughed about it at the time, but it continues to strike me as the best parenting advice ever. There are no do-overs, no second chances.

In the case of your daughter, as in the case of my own similar situation, I'd heed it and make the switch.

Good luck to you both.

Absolutely.

Op I could have written your post. My private is in Ffx. Yours?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, are you saying that private schools are full of awful little brats? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. Seriously, though, maybe the school is too small. More students = more choices for friends.

Right, because there is no bullying at public schools. Go away, troll.

There is often less due to size. My kids' public has 600 kids per grade. There is a group for everyone and no real "cool kids". You have all types and kids tend to find each other.

Anonymous wrote:Wait, are you saying that private schools are full of awful little brats? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. Seriously, though, maybe the school is too small. More students = more choices for friends.

Right, because there is no bullying at public schools. Go away, troll.

Anonymous wrote:Leave. Our kid was in a private in middle school and we saw a major change in behavior, self confidence, outlook due to mean kid bullying. We moved our child to a different school (another private) and the change is night and day. Our child is back to being the happy, confident, sweet kid they were before the bad class/bad situation/ Wish we had pulled the plug sooner.

Agree with this poster. Same thing happened to our DD. We pulled her out about 6 weeks into the school year. Wish we had just not returned.

Saw an immediate change when we moved her. We got our kid back.

OP, is this NCS or Holton, I guess it's NCS? 7th grade?

Leave. Our kid was in a private in middle school and we saw a major change in behavior, self confidence, outlook due to mean kid bullying. We moved our child to a different school (another private) and the change is night and day. Our child is back to being the happy, confident, sweet kid they were before the bad class/bad situation/ Wish we had pulled the plug sooner.

Are significantly more kids joining the grade in 9th? How long has she been at the school? Does/will she have classes, clubs & sports w kids from other grades; this can be a lifesaver & give breathing room too. Some dynamics don't change & crystalize w time. We were in similar position and made the really agonizing decision to move--to much consternation and commentary from many people not involved, and tears and fears of our child--but it turned out to be a great decision and continues to be so.

Many schools have bus routes and rolling admissions. St. Andrews, Sandy Spring Friends...

Focus the conversation about the awesome opportunities at prospective schools, and not about your disappointment about the current school. Fwiw you are doing the school you are leaving a favor too. Your school knows the situation by now but can't fix it (until 9th at the earliest, if at all), and has full pay kids on the wait list, and contracts lock by June 1, so leaving before that date helps everyone involved.

Wait, are you saying that private schools are full of awful little brats? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. Seriously, though, maybe the school is too small. More students = more choices for friends.

Anonymous wrote:We are at a big 3, DD loves the school but there are terrible mean girls. We ask her every year to leave but she wants to stay. I know mean girls are everywhere so until she tells me she wants to leave, we aren’t pulling her out. But we will in a heartbeat if she asks us to.

No, they don't have to be. I have a middle school daughter at a large public and she's never experienced mean girl behavior. Really, truly.
She's moving to a top private next year and we're hoping she doesn't experience it there.

Anonymous wrote:We are at a big 3, DD loves the school but there are terrible mean girls. We ask her every year to leave but she wants to stay. I know mean girls are everywhere so until she tells me she wants to leave, we aren’t pulling her out. But we will in a heartbeat if she asks us to.

If course she’s not going to “quit” on a big 3. You’ll have to pry her out and see her be super happy the next school year and thank you profusely.