Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here. A few people have mentioned upping my game. Any suggestions?

1) pay attention to her
2) take her out ... make all the plans yourself.
3) plan a vacation (can be a weekend)
4) buy her something ... this can be small, like her favorite chocolate or flowers or a Pez dispenser. Something to let her know you are thinking of her.
5) TALK to her. WITH her.
6) Listen to her.
7) do something NEW with her.

I don't know ... what does she like?

OP - is your wife nosy in general? I am nosy as hell, and my DH knows it. It's hereditary. I look up my exes, his, and everyone else's exes.

Wife here. We all do it. Just curiosity.

Original Poster here. A few people have mentioned upping my game. Any suggestions?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh she is cheating. If the genders were reversed on your post, you would get the real low down. Sorry dude.

If she's looking at the property tax records, she's probably just in your usual alternate life thing that crops up when your own life choices have been made. Exes tend to represent the road not traveled. Normally it's just a weird way to fill the time before your brain moves on. If you are worried because of proximity, maybe channel some of that energy in shaking up your routine, bring her back to your reality...

For the record, I look up property tax records all the time. Just yesterday I found out that a classmate bought a place in Brooklyn for $2.4m. I was impressed. She's a lesbian. Doesn't mean that I want to be with her.

Probably curiosity. I do this too and have no desire to be with any of the people I dumped.

Anonymous wrote:I do this from time to time. Super happily married. Also super nosy.

+ 1
Me too!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she was doing something wrong, she would have deleted the browser history.

nope, she's being brazen about her actions - testing her DH of 16 years. ladies pull this crap all the f*cking time.

Women don't pull that sort of thing all the time. Testing her DH of 16 years? "Testing" is what middle schoolers do, not adults.

She may be getting a little bit over the line with her ex, though. But she isn't sophisticated enough to remember to clear her browser history or use incognito mode, so I think she isn't cheating, but she's intrigued. But OP, you should up your game, start working on your relationship with her. Ask if you can go to the gym with her? Start doing something new?

I think she's just curious but I also think it would be appropriate to be honest and say that it makes you feel a tinge uncomfortable.

Anonymous wrote:If she was doing something wrong, she would have deleted the browser history.

nope, she's being brazen about her actions - testing her DH of 16 years. ladies pull this crap all the f*cking time.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you stalking your wife?

why is ok for a DW to snoop when she suspects something fishy with her DH, before she has any proof? since her actions are endorsed by DCUM, the same should be true when gender roles are reversed.

but the first question is why is she stalking this ex-bf in particular, working out at the same gym with him?

If she was doing something wrong, she would have deleted the browser history.

It’s pure curiosity. I look up exes from time to time to feel smug about how on paper my life turned out better than theirs because I have cuter kids, a taller husband who has all is hair, a nicer house. I am happy, but it makes me happier in a totally petty, shallow and immature way.

Anonymous wrote:Oh she is cheating. If the genders were reversed on your post, you would get the real low down. Sorry dude.

If she's looking at the property tax records, she's probably just in your usual alternate life thing that crops up when your own life choices have been made. Exes tend to represent the road not traveled. Normally it's just a weird way to fill the time before your brain moves on. If you are worried because of proximity, maybe channel some of that energy in shaking up your routine, bring her back to your reality...

Why are you stalking your wife?