Anonymous wrote:DH goes off to do his own thing most mornings, so I handle breakfast and cleaning. The kids bicker and fight constantly. The house is a mess and by the time DH comes home it’s time for me to make lunch and clean that up. Then there are errands and activities. If I don’t plan something fun, then everyone just sits with devices all day. I’m so sick of it and would rather go to the office 7 days a week!

I just don't make lunch on the weekends. It's too much back to back cooking (and I like cooking!). I love to do breakfast, but lunch is either grazing/out/DH makes it.

Anonymous wrote:DH goes off to do his own thing most mornings, so I handle breakfast and cleaning. The kids bicker and fight constantly. The house is a mess and by the time DH comes home it’s time for me to make lunch and clean that up. Then there are errands and activities. If I don’t plan something fun, then everyone just sits with devices all day. I’m so sick of it and would rather go to the office 7 days a week!

OP, if you are miserable you need to be proactive and do something about it. First, you and DH should be trading off duties and childcare. I'm not sure why him disappearing is even a thing. Next, figure out what would make the weekend better and do it. It sounds like being inside for hours with no schedule isn't working? The kids sounds bored and unhappy. Do you have friends with kids? Plan outings with other families. Divide up the chores with your DH, get them done early, and then plan to be out of the house by 10:00 or whatever. You don't
need to plan elaborate activities. My kids are happy getting bagels and going to the playground. Also, build in time for you to exercise or socialize. I know we all long for the days when the weekends were carefree and unplanned. You have a family now and you need to schedule everything out that you want to happen. I love the weekends but I had to change my expectations and put some effort into making them go well. I also had to accept that DH wasn't going to plan stuff. It is just not his thing.

We swap mornings. I sleep in on Saturday, he sleeps in on Sunday. Saturday normally includes a sport activity, so we have something energy draining that is helpful. If we are not going on a hike or doing something, I will try and schedule a play date for Sunday. Heck some weekends I schedule a play date any way because DS is 6 and has enough energy to power the neighborhood.

"DH goes off to do his OWN THING most mornings?" Excuse me? Who are you married to and why is he allowed to to do this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i have a one year old that's not sleeping and i look forward to every monday like christmas morning. quiet, i can pee in peace and eat in peace. i get it.

+1...I've got a monster of a two and a half year old who when she isn't being a whiny brat is fighting with her 5 year old brother. I'm cranky, DH cranky...not tons of activities that entertain two year old for that long. Weekends are hell. Absolute hell.

+1 there was a post on dreading the weekends recently. I chimed in that my 9 month old is exhausting, emotionally and physically. She’s very intense and clings like velcro. I have to say though now that she’s 1 and on 1 nap, and we plan well ahead (tons of activities, outside the house being key), weekends are getting much more enjoyable.

Just plan an outing ahead of time for the mornings up until your DH is available. As soon as they wake up go walk to the playground and eat breakfast there, or take them somewhere to eat, just out of the house. My boys fight constantly at home but are worlds better if we are outside or doing something new like a park they haven’t been to, throwing rocks in the lake, going to the zoo, etc. I used to hate weekends also but as long as I plan ahead they become my absolute favorite times!

I have my kids clean the house. Just find a way to incentivize and sell it properly, kids like to be truly helpful.

Anonymous wrote:i have a one year old that's not sleeping and i look forward to every monday like christmas morning. quiet, i can pee in peace and eat in peace. i get it.

+1...I've got a monster of a two and a half year old who when she isn't being a whiny brat is fighting with her 5 year old brother. I'm cranky, DH cranky...not tons of activities that entertain two year old for that long. Weekends are hell. Absolute hell.

i have a one year old that's not sleeping and i look forward to every monday like christmas morning. quiet, i can pee in peace and eat in peace. i get it.

Become a teacher and then you will never dread the weekends again. I’ll take my one kid over 27 kids and their parents any day. I’m a single parent and there is no way I would allow my partner to skip out every weekend like that unless he gave me my own time too.

Um, on what planet is your husband free to go "do his own thing" nonstop without you getting any time? How is that a healthy marriage or healthy parenting at all?

Sit down with him on Friday evenings and work out a loose, flexible weekend plan that allows for full-family time and time for BOTH of you to do your own thing.

Duh.

When our kids were young my DH would play tennis from 8-10 on Saturdays and be home while the kids were still in their PJ’s. We both worked but I never was bothered by it because he loved the game and that’s all he’d play. Being at home on Saturday mornings wasn’t tough duty for me so I never felt the need for my own time away. The rest of the weekend he was always with us. If I needed some quiet time or wanted to shop he’s chauffeur them all around.

THis isnt what you asked, but was a lifesaver for our marriage. We have a cleaner every 2 weeks. So we still have to tidy and vacuum every few days ( we have dogs) but there is no " cleaning" on a weekend that needs to get done. Worth the investment.

Leave the house before he does and before the kids are awake.

If he takes off mornings, you take afternoons and he can run the kids around to activities. When he's out in the morning take the kids to the park/out to breakfast/for a swim. Set aside an hour or two to clean when you are both home. Sometimes you just get stuck in a bad routine, but you can change it!