Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would seriously sell your primary residence to cover your child’s private college costs? Or take out loans for you to repay after you retire in 12 years? Or use home equity? I would like to believe this post isn’t real. What would happen if you lose your job and can’t repay those loans? Or what if you be become disabled too? Your financial security in retirement is more important than the name brand of the college your kids graduate from. I suppose you do have some wiggle room, but considering your current income and your spouse’s early retirement and disability, I wouldn’t overextend myself for a dream college.

Because they bought close to a million dollar house and cannot afford it. Its not just the house, but taxes and maintenance.

Kids will need to be realistic about college.

They lived selfishly for years and now they are paying the price.

OP. We did not buy a million dollar house - they have both appreciated. The killer for us has been high medical bills over decades plus having to help support our elderly parents (both sides). You may have read we gave very generously to both colleges (as well as many charities) before issues with disability and SN kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any chance those medical bills will be any lower in the future? Or is that pretty much guaranteed? That's where all of your money is going.

Unfortunately it doesn’t look that way; just got another poor prognosis yesterday which perhaps motivated me to write this post.

Kid does not understand reality; will reach out to school college counselor.

Kid doesn't want to understand reality.

Even a 16 year old is capable of understanding that money is not an unlimited resource. School him in that concept and repeat it often.

My 9 year old understand it for college. We have talked about it and that we want to pay for it in full and what college costs. We talk about it as sometimes its a choice of putting money away or doing something fun like a great vacation like his friends are doing. Gratefully he choose college as he knows its important to us and his future.

We are also paying for our kids' education in full. We cannot, however, pay $75K+/year for both kids without compromising our own retirement and other priorities. Like OP, we are in our late 50s and we will not jeopardize our collective security in the name of a brand-name school. Our kids will graduate from excellent schools with no debt and parents who need no help in retirement. That puts them way ahead of pretty much every game.

It is not just about making good choices. It is about the reality of annual tuition hikes that far outpace inflation and what we do in response to that. Like you, we value education. We do not, however, value name-brand schools.

Here is what I would do.

Sit down with a financial advisor to see where your savings are vs. retirement needs. The numbers sound high - but given disability and medical expenses there might be long term concerns.

After you have a better sense of your true retirement needs and any gaps you may have, you will have a better sense for options for funding college.

I believe you can withdraw from retirement funds early without penalty if you have a disability - but you need to confirm this. My assumption is that for child #2 - the $ you pay now for private school tuition will be re-allocated to college so the gap is smaller.

I would also include your children in the financial awareness plan. They should be aware of the situation and the choices you are making.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any chance those medical bills will be any lower in the future? Or is that pretty much guaranteed? That's where all of your money is going.

Unfortunately it doesn’t look that way; just got another poor prognosis yesterday which perhaps motivated me to write this post.

Kid does not understand reality; will reach out to school college counselor.

Kid doesn't want to understand reality.

Even a 16 year old is capable of understanding that money is not an unlimited resource. School him in that concept and repeat it often.

My 9 year old understand it for college. We have talked about it and that we want to pay for it in full and what college costs. We talk about it as sometimes its a choice of putting money away or doing something fun like a great vacation like his friends are doing. Gratefully he choose college as he knows its important to us and his future.

Anonymous wrote:You would seriously sell your primary residence to cover your child’s private college costs? Or take out loans for you to repay after you retire in 12 years? Or use home equity? I would like to believe this post isn’t real. What would happen if you lose your job and can’t repay those loans? Or what if you be become disabled too? Your financial security in retirement is more important than the name brand of the college your kids graduate from. I suppose you do have some wiggle room, but considering your current income and your spouse’s early retirement and disability, I wouldn’t overextend myself for a dream college.

Because they bought close to a million dollar house and cannot afford it. Its not just the house, but taxes and maintenance.

Kids will need to be realistic about college.

They lived selfishly for years and now they are paying the price.

Anonymous wrote:Faced with the say type of situation but still saved for college and retirement but due to lower wages we didn't have much.

Both kids wanted to go to UVA, we said ok, go to NOVA do the first 2 years there, transfer in as part of the guaranteed program and graduate in 2 years and we can afford that.

Both did it, both graduated with zero debt and are well on their way.

People need to get over the stereotype of not having it all but making wise financial decisions will set them up for a much better life than trying to keep up with the Joneseses

+1 This is good advice.

I wouldn't count on aide if one parent is making that much for you to have those expenses. I would either have the kids take loans and pay them off with your retirement but I would be hesitant with the health issues or start heavily saving now. I'd also downsize the house at some point but depending on the kids, especially if one is SN and getting what they need, I'd be hesitant. Or, tell them they have XXX to spend on college without loans. Or, wait till one goes to college and then sell the rental.

The rental house is making a profit so it makes no sense to sell that. I'd keep it or move in.

I hate to ask this but are you for real? After taxes there is no way you can be spending that on therapies and medical care and still pay your mortgage, still save for retirement and have enough for food. It doesn't add up.

If you are for real, I would get rid of the house NOW if the spouse cannot go back to work, and buy something in the $500,000K so it is paid in full. If primary spouse rents a room and spouse that many health issues, can they handle everything alone? None of your options are good.

You would seriously sell your primary residence to cover your child’s private college costs? Or take out loans for you to repay after you retire in 12 years? Or use home equity? I would like to believe this post isn’t real. What would happen if you lose your job and can’t repay those loans? Or what if you be become disabled too? Your financial security in retirement is more important than the name brand of the college your kids graduate from. I suppose you do have some wiggle room, but considering your current income and your spouse’s early retirement and disability, I wouldn’t overextend myself for a dream college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any chance those medical bills will be any lower in the future? Or is that pretty much guaranteed? That's where all of your money is going.

Unfortunately it doesn’t look that way; just got another poor prognosis yesterday which perhaps motivated me to write this post.

Kid does not understand reality; will reach out to school college counselor.

Kid doesn't want to understand reality.

Even a 16 year old is capable of understanding that money is not an unlimited resource. School him in that concept and repeat it often.

Anonymous wrote:So you have about 16 months before your first starts school and five years before the second? Stop all retirement saving now and pad that 529 while you can. You may actually get some aid considering your spouse's high medical needs. Then do a cash out refinance or home equity loan to cover the gap.

OP is 58. This is terrible, terrible advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Also, keep your fingers crossed that your kid doesn’t get in to one of those reach colleges. There is absolutely no need to pay that much money for college, especially in your financial condition. It’s a crazy decision.

I know! Believe me I am doing that!

Hope is not a plan.

There is no reason to give your kid reason to believe that you can spend $80K/year (and it will be $80K) on his undergraduate education. And when kid #2 is applying, will you do the same? Because that is totally insane.

Tell your kid what the budget is and stick to it. Permit him to take out reasonable loans (if he wants) up to the federal limit. You will not take out loans for him, no Parent Plus, no home equity, no co-signing. It is completely reasonable to impose your budget.

Is it pleasant to say no? Of course not. Is it necessary? Yes.

My very high-performer got into a highly-ranked school this year and is not able to attend because they didn't get any of the handful of merit scholarships given out there. When the acceptance came in with no money attached, they knew it was off the table. They are going to a lower-ranked school with a large merit scholarship and all will be fine.

Set the standard and stick to it.

Faced with the say type of situation but still saved for college and retirement but due to lower wages we didn't have much.

Both kids wanted to go to UVA, we said ok, go to NOVA do the first 2 years there, transfer in as part of the guaranteed program and graduate in 2 years and we can afford that.

Both did it, both graduated with zero debt and are well on their way.

People need to get over the stereotype of not having it all but making wise financial decisions will set them up for a much better life than trying to keep up with the Joneseses

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sell the rental property and use the proceeds for college expenses. Or just sell the rental property already. $5000 a year in profit isn’t worth it.

The rental house has appreciated by 1/3 since purchase and continues to appreciate. Get calls from developers looking to buy both properties.

Right, but the $300k+ you get from selling it is what you need if your plan is to fund your kid's dream college and your retirement is in good shape, ie, you don't need the appreciation as much as you need the cash.

Otherwise, tell kid they need to go to a less expensive school.

Anonymous wrote:Sell the rental property and use the proceeds for college expenses. Or just sell the rental property already. $5000 a year in profit isn’t worth it.

The rental house has appreciated by 1/3 since purchase and continues to appreciate. Get calls from developers looking to buy both properties.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have health insurance? why are your medical bills so high?

I think she does. Sounds like a Fed.