Anonymous
04/24/2019 16:40
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is just dumb. By your logic no parent is ever 'off duty.' OP obviously means when you're not the only adult directly supervising the children. Come on.
This. Working parents are on call too. OP means when the children are actually present.
What I find interesting about this thread, though, is all the people including nighttime/post-work hours. So if the working spouse gets home at 6 pm, the SAH spouse is still on duty? The working spouse works 9-5 (or whatever) but the SAH spouse is on duty 24/7? That seems unfair. DH and I both work out of the house and when we are in the house, either we are both on duty, or we split it up. Staying at home should not be a license for the working spouse to never lift a finger with regard to anything non-work-related.
Good for you.
A lot of SAHPs don’t have a spouse who works 9-5 and is off every weekend.
Also, this is kind of hard to parse out in day to day life. If I have four kids and my DH is playing soccer with two of them, and the other two are coloring in the kitchen while I make dinner, am I on duty or off duty?
By your logic, I am off duty because my DH is also on. By my logic, I am still on.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 16:32
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
I was a SAH for three years. My daughter hardly ever slept, so I was off duty maybe an hour each day. I've never been so exhausted in my life.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 15:46
Subject: Re:If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anywhere from 3 to 8 hours per week, more of grandparents are visiting (happens 3x/year)
2.5hrs daycare
Once a month babysitter for 2-3hrs
DH takes child on walk or to store for 30min-1hr on weekends
Do morning sleep ins count? DH and I alternate mornings so the other person can get another 45mins of sleep or relaxation.
2.5hrs daycare
Once a month babysitter for 2-3hrs
DH takes child on walk or to store for 30min-1hr on weekends
Do morning sleep ins count? DH and I alternate mornings so the other person can get another 45mins of sleep or relaxation.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 15:43
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is just dumb. By your logic no parent is ever 'off duty.' OP obviously means when you're not the only adult directly supervising the children. Come on.
This. Working parents are on call too. OP means when the children are actually present.
What I find interesting about this thread, though, is all the people including nighttime/post-work hours. So if the working spouse gets home at 6 pm, the SAH spouse is still on duty? The working spouse works 9-5 (or whatever) but the SAH spouse is on duty 24/7? That seems unfair. DH and I both work out of the house and when we are in the house, either we are both on duty, or we split it up. Staying at home should not be a license for the working spouse to never lift a finger with regard to anything non-work-related.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 15:40
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Yikes. I guess I had it good. When I was a SAHM before my kid went to any preschool (first 3.5 years), my husband worked FT and still took 100% care of DD at least 1-2 hrs/day and 5-7 hours on the weekend. We had no help, no family, but...
Does your husband get 1-2 hours of weekday and 5-7 hours of weekend time with no work or kid duties? Because yours seems excessive.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 15:33
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Yikes. I guess I had it good. When I was a SAHM before my kid went to any preschool (first 3.5 years), my husband worked FT and still took 100% care of DD at least 1-2 hrs/day and 5-7 hours on the weekend. We had no help, no family, but...
One kid? That seems pretty normal.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 15:26
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Yikes. I guess I had it good. When I was a SAHM before my kid went to any preschool (first 3.5 years), my husband worked FT and still took 100% care of DD at least 1-2 hrs/day and 5-7 hours on the weekend. We had no help, no family, but...
Anonymous
04/24/2019 15:15
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is just dumb. By your logic no parent is ever 'off duty.' OP obviously means when you're not the only adult directly supervising the children. Come on.
Unless the OP is someone who doesn't have kids; then it needs to be said, because a lot of childless people don't get that at least one parent is always "on call." In our family, that's me 85% of the time.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 15:10
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
If your kids are in school full time, you should say 30 hours. You are not providing childcare when your kids are in school.
I mostly agree BUT in my situation when DH is asked to go to Europe for work for 3-4 days, he says yes, every single time. I do not, because somebody needs to be in town for the kids. So, that counts for something - or, it should, because it certainly limits my work and career options!
Anonymous
04/24/2019 15:07
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
I have a part time nanny 20 hrs a week but I use her so that I can spend one on one time with the kids. DH works long hours so he will do bedtime with the kids occasionally if he gets home early while I clean up. And he occasionally will watch them all on the weekend so I can get my nails or hair done. Three kids under three.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 14:59
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
If your kids are in school full time, you should say 30 hours. You are not providing childcare when your kids are in school.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 14:53
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Never, really. Even when they are at school I'm the one on call. It's not like I can head to Rehobeth and for a beach day and relax and drink margaritas. I can get stuff done around the house, I can run errands, I can work out but I need to be ready to snap to it and pick a kid up as needed.
This is just dumb. By your logic no parent is ever 'off duty.' OP obviously means when you're not the only adult directly supervising the children. Come on.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 14:53
Subject: Re:If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Anonymous wrote:Are you counting time kids are sleeping?
I’m a SAHM of 3 kids and have a PT nanny/housekeeper 2 days per week. I get about 10 hours from her a week. DH probably has kids for 5-6 hours alone. I probably meet a friend or run errands solo once a week and I work out. I have made me time a priority very recently so 15 hours. If you are counting the 1-2 hours of wind down time before bed, you can add around 10 hours per week.
My kids are 2, 7 and 9.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 14:52
Subject: Re:If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Are you counting time kids are sleeping?
I’m a SAHM of 3 kids and have a PT nanny/housekeeper 2 days per week. I get about 10 hours from her a week. DH probably has kids for 5-6 hours alone. I probably meet a friend or run errands solo once a week and I work out. I have made me time a priority very recently so 15 hours. If you are counting the 1-2 hours of wind down time before bed, you can add around 10 hours per week.
I’m a SAHM of 3 kids and have a PT nanny/housekeeper 2 days per week. I get about 10 hours from her a week. DH probably has kids for 5-6 hours alone. I probably meet a friend or run errands solo once a week and I work out. I have made me time a priority very recently so 15 hours. If you are counting the 1-2 hours of wind down time before bed, you can add around 10 hours per week.
Anonymous
04/24/2019 13:56
Subject: If you sah how many hours are you off duty of childcare?
Other than pt preschool and now public school, never unless my kids were sleeping. I have one mom’s night a month where DH keeps them and we probably squeeze in 1 date night a month. No complaints. It is my job and my choice.