Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 20:20     Subject: Re:11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
Based on the mom's reaction, I don't think anything more is going to come of this. A normal parent would be mortified and and offer (insist) to pay for the loss. If anyone in the same circle of friends brings it up, all you can say is you were so glad the boys weren't hurt. "You should have locked the door" is so ridiculous, it's kind of funny (I know it's not, and losing something with sentimental value is really sad). Bur really, of all the things someone could say, she went with that.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 20:20     Subject: 11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
Op I am so sorry. Maybe you can use this as a teaching moment for your son. As he becomes a teen the challenges get harder and the consequences so much more.

Not sure exactly how to use it as a teaching moment -- but sounds as if your son feels bad which is huge.

The glass birds being destroyed is what would upset me the most.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 20:13     Subject: 11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
I would really not allow your son to do video games when he has friends over. This would force him to first come up with a plan for a better activity, perhaps board games?

What do you think about trying that for a month?
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 20:11     Subject: Re:11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry for the loss of both sentimental and valuable items that you experienced. I would be upset as well. But I also note that you not once referenced that the boys were safe and not hurt. With all that glass breakage the chance for injury was high and yet you do not seem to care one bit. That struck me as strange at best, and completely inner focused - just like those boys.


You can’t make any assumptions based on OP not mentioning it. She came here to vent about what went wrong, not what could have been even worse.


Agreed that that is true
(PP here)
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:50     Subject: Re:11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry for the loss of both sentimental and valuable items that you experienced. I would be upset as well. But I also note that you not once referenced that the boys were safe and not hurt. With all that glass breakage the chance for injury was high and yet you do not seem to care one bit. That struck me as strange at best, and completely inner focused - just like those boys.

OP again.I did check them but they tried to push me away so I assume they were fine. My son said he was about to tell me where they were when one of them bumped the shelf.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:44     Subject: Re:11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry for the loss of both sentimental and valuable items that you experienced. I would be upset as well. But I also note that you not once referenced that the boys were safe and not hurt. With all that glass breakage the chance for injury was high and yet you do not seem to care one bit. That struck me as strange at best, and completely inner focused - just like those boys.


You can’t make any assumptions based on OP not mentioning it. She came here to vent about what went wrong, not what could have been even worse.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:37     Subject: 11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
I wonder how angry and irrational OP was when she called the parent. I mean, I know lots of people who deflect when they're being yelled at.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:36     Subject: Re:11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
OP, I am sorry for the loss of both sentimental and valuable items that you experienced. I would be upset as well. But I also note that you not once referenced that the boys were safe and not hurt. With all that glass breakage the chance for injury was high and yet you do not seem to care one bit. That struck me as strange at best, and completely inner focused - just like those boys.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:33     Subject: 11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
Anonymous wrote:Please, it's not OP's fault that these kids didn't abide by the rules. She shouldn't have to lock the door. Our house is old and doesn't even have locking doors, and most interior doors only lock from the inside. This is craziness.

So sorry about the glass birds, OP. I don't think you can do anything to get them to pay you back, but they should at least apologize. It is NOT your fault for not locking the door. You told them. They are 11, not 3. They know better. You should bar them from your house unless they want to apologize and at least work part of it off or pay part of it back.

So sorry.


Plus 1
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:25     Subject: 11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
OP again. Here's some more context as to what happened: DS invited over 3 other kids, all of which I had seen before. They went to his room and started playing Mario kart on his Wii (He has the older version, not U) He had 4 controllers, but 1 was missing so I told them to alternate or do something else. After I told them that, I left them there and started preparing dinner.They were still arguing but I could not hear them. Around the time they went in the study I was cutting and washing potatoes, Then It happened.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:24     Subject: Re:11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
Twin boys seem to be a special breed. They almost reinforce each other's behaviors. Sorry that happened, OP. Too bad you didn't whoop them before calling their parents - sounds like they need it. I kid, I kid.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:20     Subject: Re:11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You won’t get any money from the parents. The kids would never be welcome in my house again, nor would my child be allowed to go to their house.


Also, now you know where the kids get their sense of entitlement. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.


Totally agree. I have two wild boys. The oldest just turned eight. So significantly younger than these kids. They would be doing chores for these people until this debt was repaired. 11 is way too old to get away with this kind of shit.



+1000 along with a handwritten apology letter.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:18     Subject: Re:11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You won’t get any money from the parents. The kids would never be welcome in my house again, nor would my child be allowed to go to their house.


Also, now you know where the kids get their sense of entitlement. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.


Totally agree. I have two wild boys. The oldest just turned eight. So significantly younger than these kids. They would be doing chores for these people until this debt was repaired. 11 is way too old to get away with this kind of shit.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:17     Subject: 11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
Anonymous wrote:OP here.They're 11 years old! I don't even know why they had to go in there to fight over a damn controller. I didn't think it needed to be locked because they should know better.


They should know better, but apparently they’re being raised by wolves.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2019 19:16     Subject: 11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.
OP here.They're 11 years old! I don't even know why they had to go in there to fight over a damn controller. I didn't think it needed to be locked because they should know better.