I used to do private lessons for kids who were terrified to swim but their parents wanted them to learn. I ask parents to commit to 6 sessions no matter how much the kids hate it. Then we re-evaluate. The first couple of lessons are scary for the parents and the child. I usually ask the parents to leave the pool deck but to continually walk past a window without making eye contact or to standby the window with their back turned. That way the child knows they are still here but isn't communicating with them.

The kids usually scream bloody murder the first one to two lessons as it takes me a couple lessons to build rapport and get a small amount of trust. Then we build on that. I generally give the child one of two options for each activity to pick from but we will do one or the other, I always tell them what I am going to do before I do it, and then I tell them it is okay to be scared but I will keep you safe.

I had one kid whose frantic attempts to stay out of the water left met with deep scratches everywhere. He was like a feral cat trying to avoid water contact. Six weeks later he would hesitantly put his face in and even 'jump' in if i was holding his arms and he would paddle on a pool noodle. Still nervous about it all but no longer terrified.

You need private lessons. You need someone to work very closely with him.

Once you figure out what's behind this fear, go with private lessons. I hired one of the life guards at our local pool to give lessons to DS. DS has mild cerebral palsy and ADHD, making it very, very hard to master swimming. His muscles would tire easily and it took a lot of focus to get his whole body to do what it needed to do. He made it through the season and improved quite a bit.

I had to teach my son to put his face in the water by myself. We did it at home in the tub and it took a while.

He had goggles on, a nose clip, and ear plugs at first and the water was warm.

I showed him how, with all those things on him, pouring water over his face wouldn't get into his eyes nose or ears. That was the first step! Then he was OK with the shower over is face (him in control of the shower.) . After a while he was willing to put his face in the water. I put coins on the bottom of the tub for him to pick up. Once he got up the courage to open his eyes under water (warm water in bath tub) it was like a light bulb went off and he got much more interested in swimming.

Gradually we reduced use of earplugs first, then nose plug. He still wore goggles all the time, still does now.

Eventually he was able to swim in a pool. We started at a pool during off hours, hotel pools, etc.

He finally learned to swim with a one to one coach but not until he was able to dog paddle and go underwater on his own with me. Didn't want to waste the money.

How do you wash his hair?