Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:48     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:White people in the South LOVE some plantation weddings. It's bizarre, tone deaf, and just simply distasteful (especially when the catering staff is mostly African-American).

It's like having a wedding at a former concentration camp. Just NO.


Well, my Jewish MIL from New York (whose grandparents died in the holocaust) was DYING for DH and I to have a plantation wedding in the south where my family lives. She thought it would be "so charming". I said no because I thought it was weird to have a wedding where so many people suffered. We did have the reception at a historic mansion. I still have mixed feelings about that.


Thanks for your thoughts. It's DH and me.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:46     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see the issue. It's history.

Do you also not tour houses like Mount Vernon?


Mount Vernon is a museum. And they talk a lot about slavery there. Similarly, former concentration camps are now essentially museums.

Not all museums are appropriate for weddings.

Barely, they barely mention slavery at Mt. Vernon. In fact, they don't want to talk about it at all, if they had their way, the older generation there. How often do you hear that George dearest had over 150 slaves in a regular tour?


Huh? Outside of the house tour, almost all the outbuildings are slaves' quarters or work buildings.

Are you sure that you've been to Mt Vernon?


Seriously -- They have a whole exhibit about the slaves he owned and the conditions in which they worked.

Now the plantation we visited outside Charleston was very different and we left regretting giving them money because they told us the slaves had good lives there ...


It varied so much by region and even house-by-house, but the Carolinas were not known as places where slaves were treated somewhat similarly to other servants, as some regions did. Typically much worse.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:46     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
The place isn't evil. As long as it's a respectful place, with a place of honor/acknowledgement of wrongs, I don't see the issue.

Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:44     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:Would a black couple ever do it? I'm AA and I just can't imagine doing something like this.
And yes, I'd tour Mount Vernon, pp; this seems completely different.


+1 from a white woman. I can't fathom doing this.

Seriously, OP, ask yourself if a black couple would do this. You know the answer is no for them, and it should be no for you, too.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:44     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There's a difference between touring Mount Vernon to learn about the history and celebrating your wedding there or at another plantation.

I would personally never do it.


If you were offered Mt Vernon as a place to have your wedding, you'd turn it down? It's a lovely house (although maybe impractical for a wedding), the grounds are lovely. The history is fascinating, slaves and all.


Yes I would.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:42     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would love it. It's history.

So is a slave ship. Good spot for a wedding?


As PPs have also said, or a concentration camp. You might as well look for the site of a mass slaughter, or where a ship or plane was bombed? Would you have a wedding at the 9/11 memorials?
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:42     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:There's a difference between touring Mount Vernon to learn about the history and celebrating your wedding there or at another plantation.

I would personally never do it.


If you were offered Mt Vernon as a place to have your wedding, you'd turn it down? It's a lovely house (although maybe impractical for a wedding), the grounds are lovely. The history is fascinating, slaves and all.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:41     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see the issue. It's history.

Do you also not tour houses like Mount Vernon?


Mount Vernon is a museum. And they talk a lot about slavery there. Similarly, former concentration camps are now essentially museums.

Not all museums are appropriate for weddings.

Barely, they barely mention slavery at Mt. Vernon. In fact, they don't want to talk about it at all, if they had their way, the older generation there. How often do you hear that George dearest had over 150 slaves in a regular tour?


Huh? Outside of the house tour, almost all the outbuildings are slaves' quarters or work buildings.

Are you sure that you've been to Mt Vernon?


Seriously -- They have a whole exhibit about the slaves he owned and the conditions in which they worked.

Now the plantation we visited outside Charleston was very different and we left regretting giving them money because they told us the slaves had good lives there ...
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:40     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:I would love it. It's history.

So is a slave ship. Good spot for a wedding?
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:40     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
There's a difference between touring Mount Vernon to learn about the history and celebrating your wedding there or at another plantation.

I would personally never do it.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:40     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see the issue. It's history.

Do you also not tour houses like Mount Vernon?


Mount Vernon is a museum. And they talk a lot about slavery there. Similarly, former concentration camps are now essentially museums.

Not all museums are appropriate for weddings.

Barely, they barely mention slavery at Mt. Vernon. In fact, they don't want to talk about it at all, if they had their way, the older generation there. How often do you hear that George dearest had over 150 slaves in a regular tour?


Huh? Outside of the house tour, almost all the outbuildings are slaves' quarters or work buildings.

Are you sure that you've been to Mt Vernon?
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:39     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see the issue. It's history.

Do you also not tour houses like Mount Vernon?


Mount Vernon is a museum. And they talk a lot about slavery there. Similarly, former concentration camps are now essentially museums.

Not all museums are appropriate for weddings.

Barely, they barely mention slavery at Mt. Vernon. In fact, they don't want to talk about it at all, if they had their way, the older generation there. How often do you hear that George dearest had over 150 slaves in a regular tour?


I don't know if we had a regular tour, but when I chaperoned my 1st grader's field trip there, they absolutely said that Washington had over 150 slaves who did the work to make the plantation run.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:38     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
It does seem icky, now that I think about it. I certainly wouldn't want to have my own wedding in that type of setting.

On the other hand, I imagine for a lot of these venues it brings in revenue that is important for historical preservation of the sites?
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:38     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:White people in the South LOVE some plantation weddings. It's bizarre, tone deaf, and just simply distasteful (especially when the catering staff is mostly African-American).

It's like having a wedding at a former concentration camp. Just NO.


Well, my Jewish MIL from New York (whose grandparents died in the holocaust) was DYING for DH and I to have a plantation wedding in the south where my family lives. She thought it would be "so charming". I said no because I thought it was weird to have a wedding where so many people suffered. We did have the reception at a historic mansion. I still have mixed feelings about that.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2019 10:37     Subject: Is a wedding at a 'plantation' bad form? or romantic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would love it. It's history.


You need to visit the NMAAHC, maybe take a trip to the National Memorial for Peace and Justice.

Gross.


Thanks, I have visited. I'm good.