Anonymous wrote:I've been getting a little out of shape lately. I've been looking a bit frumpy and older lately. I need to turn it around.

I was just watching "Mad Men," and there's this sweet scene where Betty is talking about first kisses with little Sally. And Sally is just soaking in all these wise and beautiful thoughts on love and womanhood from her beautiful mother. I teared up because I need to be a beautiful mom to my daughters. I need to be a pretty mom they can be proud of and who can teach them about love.

I'm just disappointed in myself for letting go of things I honestly think I could have held on to. Parts of my femininity that I just...let go of. I don't feel like myself.

I had a drop-dead gorgeous mom, and I was always the most attractive child in any group I was in. All the focus my mom put on her looks and my looks really screwed me up. I internalized that my value as a human being is tied to my appearance. Depression, eating disorders, obsessive exercise, cosmetic procedures, you name it, I've done it. I made terrible choices when it came to men because I always heard I was "too beautiful" for a certain guy, so I picked men based on shallow criteria and who only valued me for my looks. Now that I'm aging, I'm really struggling with coming to terms with the loss of beauty.

It's fine to want to be healthy and feminine, but wise thoughts on love =/= being physically attractive. Love has nothing to do with beauty.

???

Is this really what you value as a woman, OP?

Can you instead re-frame your thinking to focus on health, preventing diabetes (not too much sugar) and cardiac risks (not too much animal fat)?

What a strange post.

Anonymous wrote:um, I think you need to rewatch mad men because you missed the point ...

+1000

If you are getting parental tips from Betty Draper, you daughters are in deep trouble.

Anonymous wrote:I've been getting a little out of shape lately. I've been looking a bit frumpy and older lately. I need to turn it around.

I was just watching "Mad Men," and there's this sweet scene where Betty is talking about first kisses with little Sally. And Sally is just soaking in all these wise and beautiful thoughts on love and womanhood from her beautiful mother. I teared up because I need to be a beautiful mom to my daughters. I need to be a pretty mom they can be proud of and who can teach them about love.

I'm just disappointed in myself for letting go of things I honestly think I could have held on to. Parts of my femininity that I just...let go of. I don't feel like myself.

The fact that you’re a fat failure dude makes the whole Whither My Feminine Beauty!? crap moot.

You forgot to post your troll thread in Beauty. Hope your life improves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find Jesus the Savior in your life. He loves you just the way you are.

Yeah, but he never calls.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

Love.
Jesus

Anonymous wrote:Find Jesus the Savior in your life. He loves you just the way you are.

Yeah, but he never calls.

Wow OP. I’m fat. AND ... beautiful. This morning my daughter brushed my hair and commented on how soft and pretty it was. Then I wore her favorite of my shirts while we played for three hours. Then we came inside and danced and sang listening to music while we made lunch and prepped dinner. Dd had a great time. She thinks I’m fun. That makes me beautiful in her eyes. That matters most.

Find Jesus the Savior in your life. He loves you just the way you are.

OP - you should want to take pride in your appearance for you. I’m overweight and a bit frumpy and my kids think I’m beautiful. They also see my husband treat me well and tell me I look nice - and that I am worthy of love no matter what I look like. I hope your daughter doesn’t pick up on your attitude that some people are not worthy of love because of how they look.

Troll

Anonymous wrote:OP, from another mother of daughters, the best thing you can do for your kids is to not focus on your weight, appearance, etc with them. Sure lose weight for your own health but don’t discuss it with your kids.

I think you would greatly benefit from therapy.

And also teach your daughters to find someone to love them for who they are! Betty was a shallow B!

OP, from another mother of daughters, the best thing you can do for your kids is to not focus on your weight, appearance, etc with them. Sure lose weight for your own health but don’t discuss it with your kids.

I think you would greatly benefit from therapy.

Ummm the only thing I have to say to this is keep watching Mad Men because.... that ain't it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be one of the most f’ed up things I’ve read on dcum. And I’ve been here awhile, so that’s seriously saying something.

And frankly, having lost my mother when I was just a teenager, holy cow, f%^% you op, if you think that’s what your value is to your daughter. F%^}, f^#%^, f%^^}. You suck, and you need some major introspection on what it means to be a person. Get some therapy, or religion, or philosophy, or whatever, because you are really, really lost.

Wow...maybe get some help with that anger toward a total stranger.

OP sounds vulnerable at the moment and clearly has some childhood issues with food, weight, "being beautiful," etc. Maybe instead of going after someone who is clearly still processing some very understandable and common childhood food noise, just either don't say anything, or find a way to say something productive?

You do you, pp, and I’ll do me.