Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 10:55     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
Anonymous wrote:Am I being paranoid?

Late 50s woman here. For about a year and a half or so DH has “befriended” a much, MUCH younger woman (DH 65, this woman I think 30) who is single and very attractive. I’ve met her and I like her (we’ve volunteered on the same committee), but there’s something disconcerting about the way the two of them interact. DH has a big job, and I couldn’t imagine him having the time to have an affair, and he’s not THAT wealthy or high profile as to having women constantly chase him at his age. But this woman seems way top excited to see him, and I’ve noticed he is especially friendly with her. They seem to have some kind of inside jokes and I’ve heard him call her “dear.” DH has always been a friendly guy, and has a lot of female friends, but I haven’t noticed someone THIS much younger and attractive and THIS much interested in him, in some way or another.

Is it at all normal for a late 20s or 30 year old single woman to befriend a mid-60s man? Should I be concerned? If so, how do I tell DH, or this woman, or what should I say? I don’t want to sound paranoid if there’s no there there. Is there a tactful way to bring it up?



You sound like a pain.

Maybe DH simply wants some warmth, intelligence and beauty in his life?
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 10:52     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
31 y.o. woman here - I would never be interested in an old man romantically, nor would I seek out a friendship with one.
At work I see older men as professional mentors (just as I see older women), outside of work if an older man talks to me I think he is probably sad/lonely.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 10:25     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
Anonymous wrote:Eastern European? You should be a little more concerned.


+1!

Large age gaps are not a big deal, culturally.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 10:24     Subject: Re:DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
Married people don't befriend single people of the opposite sex unless it's couples. Whereby you're friends with both. It's not acceptable if he's doing things with her outside of work. If this is all work and he's simply being friendly that's ok.

Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 09:50     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
61 year old here I flirted and made the connections with the millennial females but only because of my deficiencies in Excel. I mean who cares how to do Vlookup and simulations if she was cute all the better I just needed to get my reports in on time.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 09:46     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
If he is prone to cheat, it's more likely he will get with someone you are not aware of while allowing her to be a smokescreen. It's easy to play that.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 09:42     Subject: Re:DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
Anonymous wrote:DCUM women assure us that 30-something women would never, never, never date a man over 50 (awww saggy balls!) so obviously nothing to worry about here.


Yep, nothing to be concerned about. Post after post confirms this. No 30 something is interested in our old ass, saggy balls. Older guys have no chance of scoring much younger woman. LOL
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 09:36     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
So you're 50 and DH is 65...guess he likes them a tad on the younger side. Yeah he's probably hitting that.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 09:26     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
Trust your gut
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 09:20     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
Eastern European? You should be a little more concerned.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 08:29     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
Do you have children? She could be the daughter he doesn't have? Or he could find her interesting and pretty and is flattered she likes him too, but doesn't mean they'll cheat. I think you should trust your instinct on this, but should also keep an open mind.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 08:21     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
I would say, don't make a big deal of it unless you see some REAL classic red flags, like DH suddenly staying out late and smelling like women's perfume, or acting agitated if you mention her, etc...but honestly, it's probably innocent. It's a foreign woman and he is an older, personable, established American man, and he's probably flattered by the boost in ego, but neither of them are likely pursuing anything or taking anything too seriously. She probably doesn't just act this way toward your husband.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 08:20     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
When I was that age, it was not uncommon for older men at work to be friendly. Those looking to cheat didn’t get the time of day. But a lot of older men like the dad/avuncular role. There was one guy who was a known hound dog, but we were from the same ethnic group, so he behaved like my uncle. Never made an advance.

Which one is your husband?
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 05:13     Subject: Re:DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
Anonymous wrote:I am going to join in with prior poster and say trust your gut. The fact that she is a nice person, volunteers, etc. is not at all connected to whether she could have a crush on your husband. The woman who had an emotional affair with my husband was very friendly to us both and wanted me to join her book group six months before. Hell she invited me to lunch a year before (and I went!) Trust your gut, tell him how you feel.


Ok let's just say for the sake of argument she has a small crush on OP's husband. Or he on her, which is WAY more likely. This happens ALL the time. People develop little tiny crushes on people they work with or see regularly and that doesn't mean anything ever comes of it. I have a coworker with whom I'm very friendly, there's probably mild flirtation from time to time in a very innocuous way, and I can say it would never ever ever go anywhere beyond that. I enjoy the colleague's personality, we have a great rapport and work well together, but I could not be less interested in leaving or tanking my marriage or engaging in subterfuge and extramarital drama or taking on the burdens of what would be left from two demolished relationships assuming we both left our partners. Like, no way is any of that ever going to be my problem. I just enjoy talking and joking around with the person, they clearly feel the same, so you could call it a crush but there is ZERO threat to either relationship even if it exists.
Anonymous
Post 03/26/2019 05:08     Subject: DH appears overly chummy with much younger woman
They are probably just friends! Honestly, ask yourself, why would a 30 year old woman want your 65 (i.e. OLD), not very wealthy husband? What could possibly be in it for her? Maybe she enjoys his personality and professional mentorship or advice. Very attractive young women are supremely unlikely to be after your husband.