I think you have to decide first whether you want to host or not. I can't tell if you want to learn how to host or just don't like doing it. If you don't like doing it, then don't do it. Nothing is wrong with not wanting to host.

1. Make it fun and easy. Get a catering company or food truck to come in. Taco cart, burger bar etc.
2. Make it a potluck. Cover several dishes but delegate it out.
3. Make pre-made look like homemade. I do this all the time and I love to cook but its not worth making every dish from scratch. The key is to dump it out of the plastic container into a nice dish and cover with plastic wrap the prior night. Costco is great for this.
4. If you are going to cook focus on things that can be made ahead of time and taste good reheated or can be prepped and thrown into the oven before they come. I'm done cooking hours before anyone arrives so you don't have to worry about timing.
5. Use the grill and go outdoors. You can prep and marinate everything the night before or a few hours before everyone arrives. Appoint another family member to be grill master.

Other tips-

1. Stock up farther in advance and just keep it in the garage or basement. Alcohol, sodas, etc.
2. Hiring a cleaning person to do dishes right after you eat. This keeps family members from being "helpful" by clogging your garbage disposal and leaves you with a clean kitchen.

Also, I find that hosting brunch is one of the easiest and festive meals to host. Great for beginners who don't want the pressure of a dinner. Here are my brunch staples:

Frittatas prepped the day before and thrown in oven about 1 hour before guests arrive. I usually do one veggie and one meat.

French toast casserole also prepped night before

Fruit salad

Assortment of muffins and croissants from bakery with fixings on the side (nutella, specialty jams)

Coffee area prepped night before, I have a large percolator so only make once and have mugs out for guests to help themselves

Mimosa or bloody mary bar: always a huge hit, ice buckets, glasses all taken out night before.

Lebanese Taverana is my go to when I have company but don't have time to cook.

Do some easy things:
1-Buy pre-made meals at Costco (like a pre-made salad and and entree such as the Costco chicken pot pie and loaf of bread. Also buy one of their desserts. Buy cheese, one of the dips ,crackers and a tub of nuts

The night before event:
put a no-wrinkle tablecloth(from Bed bath beyond) on table, set the table
- put a vase with seasonal flowers in middle of table

Morning of- put salad in your own bowl-(don't add dressing until just before sitting down) and keep refrigerated

Put beverages in refrigerator
Tell husband to get all drinks chilled, glasses out, etc.
Have husband serve beverages throughout event

1 hour before guests arrive- put out cheese/dip/crackers and nuts. Slice bread and put on table with butter tray.

20 minutes before guests arrive- put entree in oven- bake as directed then turn oven down to warm (keep a timer on your phone)

just before serving= toss salad

Put entree and salad on counter so it's serve yourself style

When dinner is done, let people help you clear, scrape and stack dishes

Turn coffee maker on
Put dessert where entrees were with small plates and forks

Have people help themselves

When all leave- have husband load dishwasher and do clean up

Try not to sweat it and enjoy yourself

Anonymous wrote:Here are my casual go-tos for hosting friends/family

- Taco Bar - fixings pre-done but in nice bowls. Crock pot shredded chicken and ground beef. Great hit with kids who like making their own tacos.
- Grill - hamburgers, hotdogs, steaks, corn on the cob (DH is in charge of grilling)
- Sandwich bar - cold cuts, different fresh breads, etc.'
- Lasagna

Or I just get something catered from fresh market and serve it on my own plates so not immediately obvious that it is catered - https://www.thefreshmarket.com/partyfoods

Also for brunch, I do quiche and french toast overnight casserole.

The big thing is that I have cleaners come sometime the week afterward to help with the mess. My DH works crazy hours so he's no help with cleaning up and I hate scrubbing toilets. I'd highly recommend treating yourself to cleaners after the anxiety of hosting.

Here are my casual go-tos for hosting friends/family

- Taco Bar - fixings pre-done but in nice bowls. Crock pot shredded chicken and ground beef. Great hit with kids who like making their own tacos.
- Grill - hamburgers, hotdogs, steaks, corn on the cob (DH is in charge of grilling)
- Sandwich bar - cold cuts, different fresh breads, etc.'
- Lasagna

Or I just get something catered from fresh market and serve it on my own plates so not immediately obvious that it is catered - https://www.thefreshmarket.com/partyfoods

The best thing to do is practice and perfect a few simple meals so you don't stress the day of. I'm not a baker so I always buy dessert from a nice bakery. Do a mix of homemade sides and store bought ones to help ease the pressure.

Anonymous wrote:Similar situation in my house, I busted my butt to make an Indian brunch of dosas and idlies (first time I’d ever done this for my in-laws, who arelocal and not Indian). My FIL was grouchy the whole time and said, I’ll wait for the pancakes when I asked him How he’d liked it. Then he opened the pantry and rummaged for food. My mil came in while I was still cooking and said she’d eat a hunk of cheddar cheese. She tried an idly but didn’t say thank you. No class. Meanwhile they cook meals at their home for us that are rarely our favorite and we’ll eat it up and la ish with c9mpliments. Smh.

Did you tell them you were making this special for them? They might have appreciated that and made a point to try it.

If I were you, the next time I cooked foods that aren't familiar to them, I'd either make a point to tell them beforehand so they could make plans if needed, or, I would serve these special items alongside a plain dish of eggs and have the makings of toast ready for them to help themselves.

Yes, I know the gracious thing to do is say thank you and try the food nicely. But now you know how they will react, so no need to keep running on this particular hamster wheel. Change is hard for some older people.

8:39 just continuing with my 3rd post - also look into anything you can make ahead and serve cold - pasta salad, etc. Many desserts can be made ahead, too. Not saying you have to cook - but if you want to, these are ideas.

I make this a lot - but it's also ok to buy. I buy a lot when hosting.

"Chocolate Eclair"
Ingredients:
1 box of graham crackers
1 (8 oz.) container of cool whip
3 c. milk
2 packs of instant vanilla pudding
1 container of chocolate icing
(Butter to grease 9x13 pan)

Directions: Mix the vanilla pudding mix & milk together (let sit for a few minutes). Fold in the container of cool whip. Cover the bottom of a 9 x 13 inch pan (greased w/butter) with a layer of graham crackers. Add a layer of half the pudding & cool whip mixture. Add another layer of graham crackers. The next layer is the rest of the cool whip/pudding mixture. Finish with a layer of graham crackers. Cover the last layer of graham crackers with the chocolate icing. Refrigerate for a few hours before serving.

Oh and p.s. I did hear that a general rule of thumb for hosting is not to make something for the first time when you're hosting. I like that advice because when I try something for the first time for guests, I get stressed out about whether it's going to come out right so tried and true is best for me. But Julia Child says: NEVER APOLOGIZE. So I like that attitude too

I posted already but also continuing to think that you could change up store bought food options:

pizza
chinese
sandwich trays from costco (send DH to pick up)

Something easy to make:
buy a bag of meatballs from costco and put in crockpot with chili sauce and grape jelly
salsa chicken in the crockpot to serve with tortillas
make your own coldcut sandwiches

I need to read the ultimate guide thread.

I love hosting but it sounds like you hate it.

Next time you have your hosting date, plan a trip or an appt so you leave in the morning and walk back in 15m after everyone arrives. Tell your husband he’s in charge and ask what you can do to help before you leave (like grocery shop with a list or make a dish from a recipe).

Otherwise I agree with everyone else, develop a formula (mine is fish in parchment with couscous and salad or tenderloin and roast vegetables). Simplify/make ahead. Cookie dough freezes beautifully and you can bake from frozen. Trader Joe’s has great frozen apps. Plan what goes into/onto what dish/bowl etc and put a post-it on the dishes so anyone can help with serving.

no new recipes when hosting. Keep meals simple. For example, pulled pork in the slow cooker made the day before, then you just have side dishes to handle. Also make some notes afterward. How many people, how much food you prepared, did you have enough or too little. People typically ask what to bring so have a list for those items too.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP that it’s your DH’s responsibility. LEt him order pizza, and if his family gets sick of it, they’ll stop asking him to host.

This. Stop making a martyr of yourself.

Similar situation in my house, I busted my butt to make an Indian brunch of dosas and idlies (first time I’d ever done this for my in-laws, who arelocal and not Indian). My FIL was grouchy the whole time and said, I’ll wait for the pancakes when I asked him How he’d liked it. Then he opened the pantry and rummaged for food. My mil came in while I was still cooking and said she’d eat a hunk of cheddar cheese. She tried an idly but didn’t say thank you. No class. Meanwhile they cook meals at their home for us that are rarely our favorite and we’ll eat it up and la ish with c9mpliments. Smh.