Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 14:48     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This seems like everyone supports that DH is deserving of “alone time”, while forgetting/ negating the he also gets alone time while he’s away at work, even though yes, it’s work. OP ends up doing the lifting that weekend, which face it, sucks on a whole other level.

While I don’t dispute that going away for work is WORK, there is also a difference in being the “on” parent 24/7, and working yur 10/12 hour day, getting a dinner out you don’t have to make and clean up from, and sleeping in a clean hotel bed alone.


Of course they are different, but neither is a picnic. And yes, I do travel for work. It's not the kind of "alone time" OP would get from having childcare for the weekend. I just think DH should get a say, since he might really need that one-on-one time with his spouse.


Couple alone time is different from individual alone time. That’s the choice.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 14:45     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
I think this totally depends on how involved your ILs are. If this was just a special one time thing then I reschedule but if they watch the kids fairly often I would proceed as planned and enjoy your alone time.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 14:19     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
If my parents were watching my kids for the weekend so my husband and I could go away for some much needed time together, and then I had to go away for a work emergency and my husband wanted my parents to still watch the kids so he could do whatever instead of rescheduling so we could have our planned weekend together, I would be PISSED. (But that would never happen because it would be a joint decision between the two of us and my parents).
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 14:17     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
Anonymous wrote:This seems like everyone supports that DH is deserving of “alone time”, while forgetting/ negating the he also gets alone time while he’s away at work, even though yes, it’s work. OP ends up doing the lifting that weekend, which face it, sucks on a whole other level.

While I don’t dispute that going away for work is WORK, there is also a difference in being the “on” parent 24/7, and working yur 10/12 hour day, getting a dinner out you don’t have to make and clean up from, and sleeping in a clean hotel bed alone.


Of course they are different, but neither is a picnic. And yes, I do travel for work. It's not the kind of "alone time" OP would get from having childcare for the weekend. I just think DH should get a say, since he might really need that one-on-one time with his spouse.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 13:40     Subject: Re:WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
Could you go on the work trip? Alone time with husband and also some alone alone time while he works?
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 13:23     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
This seems like everyone supports that DH is deserving of “alone time”, while forgetting/ negating the he also gets alone time while he’s away at work, even though yes, it’s work. OP ends up doing the lifting that weekend, which face it, sucks on a whole other level.

While I don’t dispute that going away for work is WORK, there is also a difference in being the “on” parent 24/7, and working yur 10/12 hour day, getting a dinner out you don’t have to make and clean up from, and sleeping in a clean hotel bed alone.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 13:08     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
Are your ILs looking at this as a treat for them, so they'd be happy to do it again, or are you trading some chips to get them to do you a favor? Will your kids be looking forward to a weekend of getting spoiled by Grandma and Grandpa?

I'd let the ILs decide, then the kids, then me.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 12:47     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
Anonymous wrote:You can get time away another time by DH having a weekend kids/daddy weekend. Much easier to arrange vs a couples weekend.


NP here-- my DH does this all the time (well, frequently enough), so I'd definitely reschedule the couple's weekend.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 12:47     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
I'd delegate to DH the emotional labor of making that decision, because a- it's his parents, b- his job that got in the way, and c- the best remark so far is that DH could be with the kids for your alone time.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 12:42     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
I'd ask DH if he has a preference, and that would sway me. If he doesn't, take the alone time and for part of it do stuff for the family (like prep dinners, ro deep clean, or something that takes some pressure off him), and then go out to dinner the next weekend with him. (and get a babysitter).
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 12:41     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
time alone. recharge yourself for you, your kids and your husband!
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 12:37     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
Reschedule. DH can always take the kids for you to have alone time.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 12:34     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
I would ask them too but if I were you I would want to save the weekend babysitting for when my husband is in town.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 12:13     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
I'd talk to them and see what they want to do.
Anonymous
Post 03/22/2019 12:00     Subject: WWYD—reschedule or stick with plans?
You can get time away another time by DH having a weekend kids/daddy weekend. Much easier to arrange vs a couples weekend.