Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 13:49     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
You should give her a pass because this is a very small thing and not everyone thinks that trying on clothes with a kid in tow is a fun thing.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 13:17     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom and have a completely different perspective. I would have been thrilled to be done with the dress shopping in 30 min. I live in the dc area so driving 1.5 hours doesn’t even seem like a big deal. She probably thought she was being nice to give you a chance to see the dress and opine on it. You sound like you are looking for. a reasoN to be offended


This is along the lines I was thinking. Thrilled not to be dragged around the mall! Tell DD...when she tries on the dress...it’s perfect! And 1.5 hrs is not a super long drive. My school drop-offs to work take an hour every morning and I don’t even think about it.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 12:44     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
I’m a mom and have a completely different perspective. I would have been thrilled to be done with the dress shopping in 30 min. I live in the dc area so driving 1.5 hours doesn’t even seem like a big deal. She probably thought she was being nice to give you a chance to see the dress and opine on it. You sound like you are looking for. a reasoN to be offended
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 12:31     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for letting me vent. As I said I won’t talk to the bride about it. We’ll see if this is wedding related rudeness or she just generally doesn’t care about others time.


Or option C, like almost everyone else said, she doesn’t even realize how inconvenient it was for you because of your kids. She probably thought getting the dress would be enough fun. She doesn’t seem to really understand what it’s like to have kids or shop with kids. She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know. But you’re basically saying it has to be that she’s rude for reason a or she’s rude for reason b, when it could just as easily be that she’s not rude, just clueless.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 11:29     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
Thanks for letting me vent. As I said I won’t talk to the bride about it. We’ll see if this is wedding related rudeness or she just generally doesn’t care about others time.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 11:27     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to understand. Were you late, hence she had already had time to shop without you and picked the dress?


Not late. We arrived before the bride actually. She found the dress on another shopping trip. The bride loves shopping. She’s the type to hit the outlets on Thanksgiving.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 11:24     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, but how would it be any better if you still drove those 3 hours roundtrip and then were stuck in the mall for 3 hours for trying dresses and a joint lunch in some crappy mall eatery?
Your time situation and exhaustion would be even worse.

She probably wanted it to be more personal than just sending an email with a link to the dress. Also, it's very understandable that she pre-chose the dress to avoid having to go back and forth if you liked some other dress out of 20 you tried, and the other mom liked something else too.

It was up to you to push back on the driving, esp since you have a baby. You chose to accommodate but now you feel annoyed. There is a lesson to be learned here.


My DD was looking forward to looking at pretty dresses with her future aunt. So the difference is it would have been a fun activity for my DD and a chance for us all to get to know each other better. That’s why I agreed to go. It was pitched as a fun afternoon for the girls. She clearly just couldn’t wait to choose a dress which is 100% her prerogative and absolutely fine. Just wish she had shared that info beforehand so we could decide if the trip out there was still worth it.


It is over, OP. Drop it.

It sounds to me a little like you oversold the experience to your daughter,and now you're embarrassed in front of your kid. I hope you didn't say too much when you drove home and even now because it sets a bad precedent and you want to be a better role model. If you did then just go back and apologize to your daughter for it and correct any misunderstandings she might have about the situation. You don't want her internalizing that her future aunt was wrong when the future aunt actually wasn't but you were in your expectations and not clarifying before agreeing.


I posted a thread so I’m responding to people. If you’d like to drop it then don’t post to me. Simple.

The bride sold the experience to my DD, not me. She made it out like they were going to have tons of fun together. The bride to my DD. They’re both girly-girls so dress shopping seemed like a way they could bond. I haven’t said anything to the bride and won’t so no reason to get upset.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 11:20     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would have had her try on a few more dresses, if she really did want the experience, just for fun. And I would have had lunch with future aunt.

I also would have rolled my eyes at it, but it could have been worse. Sounds like the dress was probably reasonable in looks and cost, while she could have picked something awful and expensive. Or she could have had a little girl try on 100 dresses while tired and hungry.

As far as bridezilla behavior goes, this is low on the totem pole.


My DD asked her to have lunch with us and she said she couldn’t. I took DD to Claire’s afterwards so she got over it. Never driven a 3 hour commute for Claire’s before. I don’t recommend it!


You sound like you are looking to continue to be offended. She doesn't have a clue. She doesn't have kids. She won't get a clue until she has kids. You need to let this go.


This came through to me, too. Chalk it up to the aunt not knowing what it is like to have kids. Someday she will and maybe you can laugh about it then.


I’m just responding to people on the thread. Would prefer I post and disappear. I hate when OPs do that.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 10:54     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would have had her try on a few more dresses, if she really did want the experience, just for fun. And I would have had lunch with future aunt.

I also would have rolled my eyes at it, but it could have been worse. Sounds like the dress was probably reasonable in looks and cost, while she could have picked something awful and expensive. Or she could have had a little girl try on 100 dresses while tired and hungry.

As far as bridezilla behavior goes, this is low on the totem pole.


My DD asked her to have lunch with us and she said she couldn’t. I took DD to Claire’s afterwards so she got over it. Never driven a 3 hour commute for Claire’s before. I don’t recommend it!


You sound like you are looking to continue to be offended. She doesn't have a clue. She doesn't have kids. She won't get a clue until she has kids. You need to let this go.


This came through to me, too. Chalk it up to the aunt not knowing what it is like to have kids. Someday she will and maybe you can laugh about it then.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 10:51     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, but how would it be any better if you still drove those 3 hours roundtrip and then were stuck in the mall for 3 hours for trying dresses and a joint lunch in some crappy mall eatery?
Your time situation and exhaustion would be even worse.

She probably wanted it to be more personal than just sending an email with a link to the dress. Also, it's very understandable that she pre-chose the dress to avoid having to go back and forth if you liked some other dress out of 20 you tried, and the other mom liked something else too.

It was up to you to push back on the driving, esp since you have a baby. You chose to accommodate but now you feel annoyed. There is a lesson to be learned here.


My DD was looking forward to looking at pretty dresses with her future aunt. So the difference is it would have been a fun activity for my DD and a chance for us all to get to know each other better. That’s why I agreed to go. It was pitched as a fun afternoon for the girls. She clearly just couldn’t wait to choose a dress which is 100% her prerogative and absolutely fine. Just wish she had shared that info beforehand so we could decide if the trip out there was still worth it.


It is over, OP. Drop it.

It sounds to me a little like you oversold the experience to your daughter,and now you're embarrassed in front of your kid. I hope you didn't say too much when you drove home and even now because it sets a bad precedent and you want to be a better role model. If you did then just go back and apologize to your daughter for it and correct any misunderstandings she might have about the situation. You don't want her internalizing that her future aunt was wrong when the future aunt actually wasn't but you were in your expectations and not clarifying before agreeing.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 10:01     Subject: Re:Give her a pass because of wedding?
Did you get time with her? Lunch, anything? I would have insisted on that after it being pulled off like this so it wasn't a total waste. After the fact, there really is nothing you can say. Fortunately now you know to not trust her asking you to drive long distances. Same as if a friend did this to you too. You learned about her character. Kids or no kids I don't waste time with people who don't present things accurately.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 09:48     Subject: Re:Give her a pass because of wedding?
I think she was rude not to at least have lunch with you guys. I’d be super annoyed. Yeah she doesn’t have kids and doesn’t quite get that but I’m assuming she wasn’t raised by wolves.

That said, I’d be annoyed, vent here and move on.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 09:47     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
She was trying to nice and include you and your daughter in the process. It backfired because she doesn't get what its like to have a parent schedule. Someday she'll know, but if you didn't tell her it was going to be a challenge for you there is not way she'd have known.
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 09:41     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
I’m trying to understand. Were you late, hence she had already had time to shop without you and picked the dress?
Anonymous
Post 03/17/2019 09:36     Subject: Give her a pass because of wedding?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would have had her try on a few more dresses, if she really did want the experience, just for fun. And I would have had lunch with future aunt.

I also would have rolled my eyes at it, but it could have been worse. Sounds like the dress was probably reasonable in looks and cost, while she could have picked something awful and expensive. Or she could have had a little girl try on 100 dresses while tired and hungry.

As far as bridezilla behavior goes, this is low on the totem pole.


My DD asked her to have lunch with us and she said she couldn’t. I took DD to Claire’s afterwards so she got over it. Never driven a 3 hour commute for Claire’s before. I don’t recommend it!


You sound like you are looking to continue to be offended. She doesn't have a clue. She doesn't have kids. She won't get a clue until she has kids. You need to let this go.