Anonymous wrote:Well when about 1/3 to 1/2 of every private seems to have kids on accommodations, they yes there is cheating going on.

Anonymous wrote:And my point is, why are you in a position to make judgments about who should and shouldn't take advantage of certain privileges associated with wealth, connections, etc. (short of breaking the law)?

Anonymous wrote:Sounds gross.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any answers on the question of unfair advantages but I cringe a little at the gray area that seems to be growing around this debate.

Is getting your kid a tutor akin to hiring someone to take the SAT on your kids’ behalf? Because the OP’s argument seems to be implying that by lumping everything into the “unfair advantage” category.

Don’t get me wrong, there are always inherent advantages that come with “privilege.” It has been that way since the beginning of time. I think the problem is actually that we allowed any of this to be seen as a meritocracy in a lot of ways. But I wonder when the slippery slope comes in? My kid gets lots of “advantages” in that I read to each of them every night, we eat dinner as a family, and I got off the ladder in my job to take a position with much more flexibility. Those are all advantages to my kids, for sure. Also, we are a while family who are third generation college graduates who send our kids to private school. We generally don’t rely on public transportation and have a yard to play in. All of that is a direct result of our privilege. Is that wrong? It certainly feels unfair if you are sitting in public housing trying to figure a way out.

I don’t have an answer. I know I don’t want to end up saying that all these actions are indistinguishable. There is certainly a difference between what went on in the cheating scandal and what most of us do on behalf of our kids. At the same time, I think we have to be careful that we don’t walk down a road that leads us to saying that any time dedicated or effort made on behalf of our kids is unfair.

Just food for thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any answers on the question of unfair advantages but I cringe a little at the gray area that seems to be growing around this debate.

Is getting your kid a tutor akin to hiring someone to take the SAT on your kids’ behalf? Because the OP’s argument seems to be implying that by lumping everything into the “unfair advantage” category.

Don’t get me wrong, there are always inherent advantages that come with “privilege.” It has been that way since the beginning of time. I think the problem is actually that we allowed any of this to be seen as a meritocracy in a lot of ways. But I wonder when the slippery slope comes in? My kid gets lots of “advantages” in that I read to each of them every night, we eat dinner as a family, and I got off the ladder in my job to take a position with much more flexibility. Those are all advantages to my kids, for sure. Also, we are a while family who are third generation college graduates who send our kids to private school. We generally don’t rely on public transportation and have a yard to play in. All of that is a direct result of our privilege. Is that wrong? It certainly feels unfair if you are sitting in public housing trying to figure a way out.

I don’t have an answer. I know I don’t want to end up saying that all these actions are indistinguishable. There is certainly a difference between what went on in the cheating scandal and what most of us do on behalf of our kids. At the same time, I think we have to be careful that we don’t walk down a road that leads us to saying that any time dedicated or effort made on behalf of our kids is unfair.

Just food for thought.

Congrats. You get the award for most absurd rationalization. Having a yard and reading to your kids is not remotely comparable to the advantages the wealthy get by dint of being legacies, or from spending six figures on tutors/test prep, or from donating to universities as your child applies for admission, or by having your kid try to get in because they played some silly patrician sport like fencing.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any answers on the question of unfair advantages but I cringe a little at the gray area that seems to be growing around this debate.

Is getting your kid a tutor akin to hiring someone to take the SAT on your kids’ behalf? Because the OP’s argument seems to be implying that by lumping everything into the “unfair advantage” category.

Don’t get me wrong, there are always inherent advantages that come with “privilege.” It has been that way since the beginning of time. I think the problem is actually that we allowed any of this to be seen as a meritocracy in a lot of ways. But I wonder when the slippery slope comes in? My kid gets lots of “advantages” in that I read to each of them every night, we eat dinner as a family, and I got off the ladder in my job to take a position with much more flexibility. Those are all advantages to my kids, for sure. Also, we are a while family who are third generation college graduates who send our kids to private school. We generally don’t rely on public transportation and have a yard to play in. All of that is a direct result of our privilege. Is that wrong? It certainly feels unfair if you are sitting in public housing trying to figure a way out.

I don’t have an answer. I know I don’t want to end up saying that all these actions are indistinguishable. There is certainly a difference between what went on in the cheating scandal and what most of us do on behalf of our kids. At the same time, I think we have to be careful that we don’t walk down a road that leads us to saying that any time dedicated or effort made on behalf of our kids is unfair.

Just food for thought.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any answers on the question of unfair advantages but I cringe a little at the gray area that seems to be growing around this debate.

Is getting your kid a tutor akin to hiring someone to take the SAT on your kids’ behalf? Because the OP’s argument seems to be implying that by lumping everything into the “unfair advantage” category.

Don’t get me wrong, there are always inherent advantages that come with “privilege.” It has been that way since the beginning of time. I think the problem is actually that we allowed any of this to be seen as a meritocracy in a lot of ways. But I wonder when the slippery slope comes in? My kid gets lots of “advantages” in that I read to each of them every night, we eat dinner as a family, and I got off the ladder in my job to take a position with much more flexibility. Those are all advantages to my kids, for sure. Also, we are a while family who are third generation college graduates who send our kids to private school. We generally don’t rely on public transportation and have a yard to play in. All of that is a direct result of our privilege. Is that wrong? It certainly feels unfair if you are sitting in public housing trying to figure a way out.

I don’t have an answer. I know I don’t want to end up saying that all these actions are indistinguishable. There is certainly a difference between what went on in the cheating scandal and what most of us do on behalf of our kids. At the same time, I think we have to be careful that we don’t walk down a road that leads us to saying that any time dedicated or effort made on behalf of our kids is unfair.

Just food for thought.

Congrats. You get the award for most absurd rationalization. Having a yard and reading to your kids is not remotely comparable to the advantages the wealthy get by dint of being legacies, or from spending six figures on tutors/test prep, or from donating to universities as your child applies for admission, or by having your kid try to get in because they played some silly patrician sport like fencing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I am. I just think the wealthy at a private school being infuriated at the super-wealthy at a private school shows a lack of self-awareness. It's just a very weird place to draw the line ("THIS is where I draw the line on whether being rich should give you an advantage") when 99% of America is already way behind you.

Such a good point. The "it's okay for me to take advantage of my privilege, but someone more rich/connected exerting their uber-privilege?" pearl-clutching is a bit ironic.

Yep. OP, you need to examine your own privileges before casting shade on everyone else’s.

I fully admit I had privileges. My point was that high schools can be just as complicit as the colleges in this pay to play game for college acceptance.

+1

There's a ton of mediocre rich kids in these "elite" DC area privates. Now you know why.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:..we all know that wealthy kids have an unfair advantage by being able to afford tutors and coaches and other extras that pad their resumes...

that's not cheating or unfair. it's just access to resources creating more advantages. way of the world...for better or worse

Anonymous wrote: I can't help but think that pressure from their parents had something to do with it. Does this kind of thing still go on?

yes, im sure social + financial status play's a role. big dogs eat. i can agree that is unfair but unfortunately happens

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I am. I just think the wealthy at a private school being infuriated at the super-wealthy at a private school shows a lack of self-awareness. It's just a very weird place to draw the line ("THIS is where I draw the line on whether being rich should give you an advantage") when 99% of America is already way behind you.

Such a good point. The "it's okay for me to take advantage of my privilege, but someone more rich/connected exerting their uber-privilege?" pearl-clutching is a bit ironic.

Yep. OP, you need to examine your own privileges before casting shade on everyone else’s.

I fully admit I had privileges. My point was that high schools can be just as complicit as the colleges in this pay to play game for college acceptance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I am. I just think the wealthy at a private school being infuriated at the super-wealthy at a private school shows a lack of self-awareness. It's just a very weird place to draw the line ("THIS is where I draw the line on whether being rich should give you an advantage") when 99% of America is already way behind you.

Such a good point. The "it's okay for me to take advantage of my privilege, but someone more rich/connected exerting their uber-privilege?" pearl-clutching is a bit ironic.

Yep. OP, you need to examine your own privileges before casting shade on everyone else’s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HS's in this area use the "captain" role on teams to make sure certain kids have leadership on their resume.

In the top 10% of donors to my kid’s “Big 3” school. Not true for donors’ kids.

Might be true for major PITA parents’ kids...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I am. I just think the wealthy at a private school being infuriated at the super-wealthy at a private school shows a lack of self-awareness. It's just a very weird place to draw the line ("THIS is where I draw the line on whether being rich should give you an advantage") when 99% of America is already way behind you.

Such a good point. The "it's okay for me to take advantage of my privilege, but someone more rich/connected exerting their uber-privilege?" pearl-clutching is a bit ironic.