Anonymous wrote:HA HA HA. I don't want my kids because I want painkiller during labor?? WTF. If the desire to "experience" labor is a large part of your interest in having children, you are out of your mind.

+1 If what you think is most important about parenting is a painful labor, maybe you should just be a pregnancy surrogate.

Anonymous wrote:You don't want experience labor - you want pain killers, or a scheduled induction, or an elective c-section (even when it's not medically necessary). You don't want to care for your newborn her first night outside your body - you send her to the nursery. You don't want to breastfeed - you resort to formula at the first opportunity. You don't want to help your baby adjust by letting her sleep in the same room as you. What part of having a baby DO you want??

I told my DH on our first date that I did not want children! He wanted to marry me anyway. I had three for him but he kept his promise that they would cause no trouble I my life and they haven't. Now that they ate older, I enjoy them.

Anyway, what do you care and what business is it of yours!

I had a c-section (not elective) and while it didn't hurt in the moment, it hurt like hell after they took the morphine away and replaced it with just Percocet. I am a single mom and I wasn't allowed to have my baby in my room at the hospital unless I had another adult there (complications due to pre-eclampsia and HELLP). I was hooked up to IVs and a catheter. I could barely shift around in bed let alone get out of bed to care for a newborn. I also didn't BF because I was in pain and needed a transfusion. People visited and said I looked drained. No kidding! Blood gushed out of my body during surgery (low platelets) and my son was dripping in blood when they held him up for me to look ("Don't worry! That's your blood, not his" is what the doctors said. Um, okay. I didn't keep him in my room when we got home from the hospital because why would I? I wasn't breastfeeding so no need for us to share a room or a bed. My neighbor's daughter died the year before from being rolled over by her mother in bed after she fell asleep during breastfeeding. No thanks. People have their reasons.

I did all those things OP mentioned except the c-section. And I think I am a great mom. And our kids are incredibly well adjusted and independent.

3 kids and we love them to bits. And they are great kids- ages 1, 5 and 6.5.

Good luck to you OP. Hope you win this imaginary mommy medal that you clearly are striving for.

I'm adopted. My mom wanted a baby so, so, so, so badly. She did none of the things on OP's stupid list. She didn't give birth to me, she fed me formula, and she didn't even meet me until I was a week old. And she was and is an amazing mother who loved me through thick and thin, and loves her grandchild, and never judges or tries to shame me for any of my parenting decisions. So without knowing anything else about the OP than what she wrote, I know that my mom, who didn't check a single box on that list, is a better mother than she'll ever be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't want experience labor - you want pain killers, or a scheduled induction, or an elective c-section (even when it's not medically necessary). You don't want to care for your newborn her first night outside your body - you send her to the nursery. You don't want to breastfeed - you resort to formula at the first opportunity. You don't want to help your baby adjust by letting her sleep in the same room as you. What part of having a baby DO you want??

With my first kid, I had an actually emergency c-section (like doctors running through the hallways) and ended up on a mag drip for 24 hours. I couldn't hold my baby without someone else in the room. My DH had to leave for 3 hours to deal with logistical stuff (since the whole thing happened very suddenly) and I had to sit in my room with my baby screaming in its bassinet because the hospital didn't have a nursery and no nurse would come no matter how many times I rang the call button. Yup, I would have loved for someone else to care for my baby in a nursery or feed it formula. Obviously that means I didn't want my kid.

It seems like the OP can't visualize any other experience than the one they had. There are reasons for all those options being available, and I am so sorry where you had your baby didn't have those.

Anonymous wrote:Mom of 3. Pregnant 4x.

Another problem with the Information Age and oversharing. We need to keep more things private. No one needs to share the pee stick/the soon/the gender reveal/the birth plan/the birth story/the journey to parenthood/naming the baby before birth.

No one will know about your scheduled induction, whether you are BF or formula feed, that you chose to send your newborn to the nursery one night, that you didn't babyproof and lockdown your house if you keep this information private.

Just stop! Upshot is no one cares, it is not a competition and there's no award ceremony!

This.

Anonymous wrote:You don't want experience labor - you want pain killers, or a scheduled induction, or an elective c-section (even when it's not medically necessary). You don't want to care for your newborn her first night outside your body - you send her to the nursery. You don't want to breastfeed - you resort to formula at the first opportunity. You don't want to help your baby adjust by letting her sleep in the same room as you. What part of having a baby DO you want??

With my first kid, I had an actually emergency c-section (like doctors running through the hallways) and ended up on a mag drip for 24 hours. I couldn't hold my baby without someone else in the room. My DH had to leave for 3 hours to deal with logistical stuff (since the whole thing happened very suddenly) and I had to sit in my room with my baby screaming in its bassinet because the hospital didn't have a nursery and no nurse would come no matter how many times I rang the call button. Yup, I would have loved for someone else to care for my baby in a nursery or feed it formula. Obviously that means I didn't want my kid.

HA HA HA. I don't want my kids because I want painkiller during labor?? WTF. If the desire to "experience" labor is a large part of your interest in having children, you are out of your mind.

As the mom of a child who spent a month in the NICU I want a healthy baby.

That's it. End of story.

I was instructed by nurses and doctors to feed my 9 lbs baby formula until my milk arrived because he needed to keep his sugar up. You are misinformed OP (as well as martyrdom loving).
Oh... and I had 3 C sections (2 of which were planned) ssssssssshhhhhhh.

Anonymous wrote:You don't want experience labor - you want pain killers, or a scheduled induction, or an elective c-section (even when it's not medically necessary). You don't want to care for your newborn her first night outside your body - you send her to the nursery. You don't want to breastfeed - you resort to formula at the first opportunity. You don't want to help your baby adjust by letting her sleep in the same room as you. What part of having a baby DO you want??

Yes, OP, clearly all there is to parenting is the delivery and the boob. If only.

Pregnancy sucks. Giving birth sucks. Those hours the baby went to nursery are the last unbroken stretch of sleep most of us get for months to come (years, in my case). As a formula feeding mom, for reasons that are none of your business, I didn't find that formula feeding was the "easy way" at all - washing and making endless bottles, lugging formula and bottles and bibs around everywhere when my best friend could just pop out a boob... And newborns are screaming angry potatoes, which I personally don't find particularly enjoyable. The baby stage is my least favorite part of being a parent, and I say that as I deal with the terrible twos and all the fun things that entails with my oldest. He's so much fun, even with the tantrums and boundary testing.

You know, in the former USSR, they didn't allow women to get any kind of pain relief during labor because they believed the mother couldn't properly bond with the baby if she didn't experience the pain. Glad to hear someone still holds those Soviet beliefs!

Anonymous wrote:You don't want experience labor - you want pain killers, or a scheduled induction, or an elective c-section (even when it's not medically necessary). You don't want to care for your newborn her first night outside your body - you send her to the nursery. You don't want to breastfeed - you resort to formula at the first opportunity. You don't want to help your baby adjust by letting her sleep in the same room as you. What part of having a baby DO you want??

Slow day after dropoff, eh?

Anonymous wrote:You don't want experience labor - you want pain killers, or a scheduled induction, or an elective c-section (even when it's not medically necessary). You don't want to care for your newborn her first night outside your body - you send her to the nursery. You don't want to breastfeed - you resort to formula at the first opportunity. You don't want to help your baby adjust by letting her sleep in the same room as you. What part of having a baby DO you want??

WTF?

Gosh, OP, you really hit where it hurts. It’s like you really know that we all just want the cute photo ops and none of the aggravation. All of us. Even the ones who did the things you list, because I am sure nobody does enough for long enough or with the right mindset for you to say “well done.”

The shame is just so overwhelming. How do you live on the same planet as the rest of us mere mortals?