Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm a guy. I tried to ask her out earlier, but I don't think she realized I was asking her out.

Make sure you're clear in your communication.

I asked her what she was doing next weekend in reference to this Saturday. She then told me exactly what she was doing. Didn't ask why I wanted to know and proceeded to move onto another topic.

But did you ask her out? Doesn't sound like you did. . . .

Evidently not. I need to try again.

Next time say: “Hello, do you want to have dinner on Saturday?”

It really is that simple. Your way is a little like playing games. You ask her what she’s doing to see if she’s available - and so you don’t have to put yourself out there too much. She rolls her eyes and plays the game. She tells you that she has lots going on in her life - signaling that she’s not sitting at home waiting for your call. Stop being so needy. If you hadn’t needed the reassurance that she’d say yes, before asking, you’d have gotten your date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm a guy. I tried to ask her out earlier, but I don't think she realized I was asking her out.

Make sure you're clear in your communication.

I asked her what she was doing next weekend in reference to this Saturday. She then told me exactly what she was doing. Didn't ask why I wanted to know and proceeded to move onto another topic.

I hated guys like you. In the DC area, guys are super vague about plans. They try to feel you out before actually asking. Or if they find out you are going out somewhere, "maybe Ill see you there". Or they tell you where they are going to be and expect you go there on the off chance you will run into them.

If you want to go out with her then you need to ask, "If you aren't busy on Saturday, would you like to go ti dinner and a movie with me?"

It's not just DC guys. I moved to California a little over a year and and guys out here are the same. I'm this close to to throwing in the towel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm a guy. I tried to ask her out earlier, but I don't think she realized I was asking her out.

Make sure you're clear in your communication.

I asked her what she was doing next weekend in reference to this Saturday. She then told me exactly what she was doing. Didn't ask why I wanted to know and proceeded to move onto another topic.

Where, in what you wrote/said, is there a request for a date?

Yeah I'm not seeing the request for a date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm a guy. I tried to ask her out earlier, but I don't think she realized I was asking her out.

Make sure you're clear in your communication.

I asked her what she was doing next weekend in reference to this Saturday. She then told me exactly what she was doing. Didn't ask why I wanted to know and proceeded to move onto another topic.

Where, in what you wrote/said, is there a request for a date?

Wednesday for Saturday

only if it fits my schedule

as for OP, i think she did not want to say "no"

Anonymous wrote:If a guy messaged me and said "Hey, Im going for a cup of coffee wanna join me" I would probably go. If he indicated that maybe it was something sexual he had in mind I would probably decline. Unless it was a FWB situation where short notice is sometimes the only possibility.

Of course, sex in the Starbuck's bathroom is implicit in the offer of coffee...

If a guy messaged me and said "Hey, Im going for a cup of coffee wanna join me" I would probably go. If he indicated that maybe it was something sexual he had in mind I would probably decline. Unless it was a FWB situation where short notice is sometimes the only possibility.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm a guy. I tried to ask her out earlier, but I don't think she realized I was asking her out.

Make sure you're clear in your communication.

I asked her what she was doing next weekend in reference to this Saturday. She then told me exactly what she was doing. Didn't ask why I wanted to know and proceeded to move onto another topic.

DP and a woman. If a guy asked me what I was doing I wouldn't think to ask why he was asking! If you want to ask her out than ask her out directly...hey do you want to go on a date on x day if you are not busy.Otherwise if we are friends I would think it is just chit chat. Btw, if she is busy than she will tell you her plans.

Anonymous wrote:Before dinner on Saturday.

whhhattt? this must be a guy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm a guy. I tried to ask her out earlier, but I don't think she realized I was asking her out.

Make sure you're clear in your communication.

I asked her what she was doing next weekend in reference to this Saturday. She then told me exactly what she was doing. Didn't ask why I wanted to know and proceeded to move onto another topic.

It is very skittish of you to put this initiation on the other person. Don’t pussy foot around the bush. You could have revisited the topic and made clear your desire. Man up. And if OP was a woman, I’d say woman up.

It's not just skittish but completely passive-aggressive. OP, you need to ask her directly if she wants to go to dinner, show, whatever, on this date and time. She will say yes or no or will get back to you later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm a guy. I tried to ask her out earlier, but I don't think she realized I was asking her out.

Make sure you're clear in your communication.

I asked her what she was doing next weekend in reference to this Saturday. She then told me exactly what she was doing. Didn't ask why I wanted to know and proceeded to move onto another topic.

It is very skittish of you to put this initiation on the other person. Don’t pussy foot around the bush. You could have revisited the topic and made clear your desire. Man up. And if OP was a woman, I’d say woman up.

OP, if you asked me exactly what you asked the woman you are talking about, I would have answered the same way she did. You asked what she was doing. She told you.

You didn’t ask her out. You didn’t say you wanted to see her. You didn’t ask if she wanted to make plans.

Be direct.

“Doesn't matter at all. If you want to go and are available once he asks, then accept.

+1

This smacks of one of those weird arbitrary “rules” that people put out, and then wonder why they are perpetually unhappy and single.”

Yeah, but, as a general rule, if a guy’s not trying to line up another date sooner rather than later, it’s a pretty good indication that either you or dating is not a priority. Here, it sounds like OP is aiming for an initial date, so that may be a good reason not to follow a rule. But generally, last minute date requests, unless they are genuinely “I unexpectedly became available” mean that the date is not someone who is top of mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I'm a guy. I tried to ask her out earlier, but I don't think she realized I was asking her out.

Make sure you're clear in your communication.

I asked her what she was doing next weekend in reference to this Saturday. She then told me exactly what she was doing. Didn't ask why I wanted to know and proceeded to move onto another topic.

Learn how to ask a direct question. She gave you exactly what you were asking for.

I'm a woman and out there dating.

To the OP, if you asked me that question way in advance, I would give the same type of answer. Be direct and specific.

"It's been nice chatting. I'd like to take you out (or meet you). Are you free next Saturday night?"

"I have my kids that night, but can get out for happy hour on Friday or maybe another time early next week. When else are you available?"

If she says, "no." Then I would see if she wants to keep texting and try one more time. Then move on. I want to meet and see, not have pen pals. I will ask a guy if he's free, or let him know when I'm available. If he accepts, great. If not, I move on.