Anonymous wrote:At our preschool, my daughter is in some kind of clique with 2 other kids, Daniel and Wendy. They are all 3 year olds. Before Wendy started at school, she and Daniel are really close and we had a couple of playdates. Wendy started later and turns out, Wendy and Daniel parents are from the same country and they speak a common language. In any case, the 3 kids play really well at school. I learned from social media (I am friends with them) that Daniel and Wendy have lots of playdates together but my daughter was not invited. I am feeling sad because DD would have love to play with them as well. DH thinks that it's not because they don't like DD or me, but because they the parents, just bonded, and they probably have conversations and just plan a play date without even thinking of us.
I know it's a big deal but as a FTM, I just want to understand how to navigate these playdates stuff. I thought that if the kids like each other, we would do playdates together.
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks so much for everyone’s input. With Daniel, the few play dates we had in the past were initiated by me. She never reciprocated. I’m not feeling ownership to the child but just wish we can all play together? One poster was spot on about the parents speaking to the kids in their native language. I will initiate something with all of us. I did comment in the FB post that whatever they are doing looks fun and DD would love to join next time. Not sure if it’s ok to say something like that.
Another question I have is: a few posters said invite other kids to play dates. So DD is only close to these two kids but not others and I do like a few parents there as well. Do you initiate play dates based on who your kids play with or which moms you like ?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks so much for everyone’s input. With Daniel, the few play dates we had in the past were initiated by me. She never reciprocated. I’m not feeling ownership to the child but just wish we can all play together? One poster was spot on about the parents speaking to the kids in their native language. I will initiate something with all of us. I did comment in the FB post that whatever they are doing looks fun and DD would love to join next time. Not sure if it’s ok to say something like that.
Another question I have is: a few posters said invite other kids to play dates. So DD is only close to these two kids but not others and I do like a few parents there as well. Do you initiate play dates based on who your kids play with or which moms you like ?
Anonymous wrote:At our preschool, my daughter is in some kind of clique with 2 other kids, Daniel and Wendy. They are all 3 year olds. Before Wendy started at school, she and Daniel are really close and we had a couple of playdates. Wendy started later and turns out, Wendy and Daniel parents are from the same country and they speak a common language. In any case, the 3 kids play really well at school. I learned from social media (I am friends with them) that Daniel and Wendy have lots of playdates together but my daughter was not invited. I am feeling sad because DD would have love to play with them as well. DH thinks that it's not because they don't like DD or me, but because they the parents, just bonded, and they probably have conversations and just plan a play date without even thinking of us.
I know it's a big deal but as a FTM, I just want to understand how to navigate these playdates stuff. I thought that if the kids like each other, we would do playdates together.
Anonymous wrote:The reason is obvious: The parents want to speak in their own language and encourage the children to do so as well.
I bet they like you and your daughter, but there are nice kids everywhere. It’s much harder to find friends who your children can practice their native language with.
Point being, get over it. They’re not going to invite you for anything other than a birthday party. Try to find other friends for your daughter.
Anonymous wrote:Your dh is right. Invite them when you can and hope it’s reciprocated. It’s normal to feel bad about your first kid missing out and hopefully this can be a lesson in learning not to take things so personally in regards to your dd. I know it might be hard to control a natural emotion but the sooner you start developing coping strategies to get your mind off non-intended slights the better. I’m also more sensitive about my kids than myself, it hurts but there are ways to take your mind off and think logically.