Anonymous wrote:It's 2019, and you live near DC. Assume that if you are going to a household where at least one adult is of Asian descent, you will have to remove your shoes. Get over it. I prepare for all kinds of cultural differences when I go to white people's homes...

I agree with you.

NP and genuinely curious: how do you prepare for cultural differences in white people's homes? (Just curious for the perspective that I might not be aware of.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not particularly weird, but I’m not a fan of situations where the host asks you to remove shoes and there’s no advance warning that it’s a shoe-free house and no provision of slippers. From cold feet, to holey socks, to athlete’s foot, there are a lot of reasons why some of us are more comfortable with shoes on and need some sort of heads-up if we must remove them.

This is such a common expectation now its weird to be put off by it. And as there’s so much supporting evidence of all the literal crap shoes bring in-I find shoe wearing homes gross.

I was a principal ballet dancer (Prima Ballerina) for 20+ years & it absolutely ravaged my feet... permanently.

Today, I can only walk wearing shoes with supports in them, I can no longer walk bare footed AT ALL. At home, I wear custom slippers with the same supports in them, but they are very expensive as everything in them are custom made just for my feet.

What would you have me do in this situation?

NP. Put your custom slippers in your handbag when you go to someone's house, and stop being such a prima don--er, welll, you know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not particularly weird, but I’m not a fan of situations where the host asks you to remove shoes and there’s no advance warning that it’s a shoe-free house and no provision of slippers. From cold feet, to holey socks, to athlete’s foot, there are a lot of reasons why some of us are more comfortable with shoes on and need some sort of heads-up if we must remove them.

This is such a common expectation now its weird to be put off by it. And as there’s so much supporting evidence of all the literal crap shoes bring in-I find shoe wearing homes gross.

I was a principal ballet dancer (Prima Ballerina) for 20+ years & it absolutely ravaged my feet... permanently.

Today, I can only walk wearing shoes with supports in them, I can no longer walk bare footed AT ALL. At home, I wear custom slippers with the same supports in them, but they are very expensive as everything in them are custom made just for my feet.

What would you have me do in this situation?

It's 2019, and you live near DC. Assume that if you are going to a household where at least one adult is of Asian descent, you will have to remove your shoes. Get over it. I prepare for all kinds of cultural differences when I go to white people's homes...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not particularly weird, but I’m not a fan of situations where the host asks you to remove shoes and there’s no advance warning that it’s a shoe-free house and no provision of slippers. From cold feet, to holey socks, to athlete’s foot, there are a lot of reasons why some of us are more comfortable with shoes on and need some sort of heads-up if we must remove them.

I think it's rude for people to ask guests to remove their shoes, especially if it's just for a short visit. I have a bum knee, my sis has plantar fasciitis, and I know many senior citizens who would be more comfortable with their shoes on. For some of us it's painful to walk w/o the support of shoes. As a host it's about making your guests comfortable, not what you prefer. You can clean your floors after the visit. Now if it's for overnight guests, I would ask them in advance to bring slippers/house shoes to wear in the home.

'


So true. I think people forget this. Be a gracious hostess. You can ask, but if people prefer to keep shoes on, just smile and carry on.

People with no-shoes-in-the-house policies are rude if they don’t provide medical booties to slip OVER the shoe for guests who need arch support, have feet problems, etc.

this is a total no brainer because hospitality is 100% and not one iota less about making your guests feel welcome and comfortable. If the first thing you do is hit me with a shoes off request without forewarning, you’ve already made me feel awkward.

I was caught off guard once, mid move no idea where my socks were, and I had to take my shoes off and go barefoot in someones home during a playdate. I was very embarrassed but did not try to push back. I would just say, maybe offer socks or something to people who you ask to remove shoes. Its your right to ask, but you should always try to make sure a guest is comfortable. Another friend of mine literally has a basket of slip on slippers at the door for guests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not particularly weird, but I’m not a fan of situations where the host asks you to remove shoes and there’s no advance warning that it’s a shoe-free house and no provision of slippers. From cold feet, to holey socks, to athlete’s foot, there are a lot of reasons why some of us are more comfortable with shoes on and need some sort of heads-up if we must remove them.

If I have never been to someone’s home, I always assume it’s a shoe free house

+1

If I am a guest, I act like a decent human being and honor the house rules.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not particularly weird, but I’m not a fan of situations where the host asks you to remove shoes and there’s no advance warning that it’s a shoe-free house and no provision of slippers. From cold feet, to holey socks, to athlete’s foot, there are a lot of reasons why some of us are more comfortable with shoes on and need some sort of heads-up if we must remove them.

That’s a reflection more on you than on them. Don’t wear socks with holes, and clean/treat your damn feet! It shouldn’t be a matter of concern to take your shoes off!

Ugh, I hate sanctimonious people like you. I have plantar fasciitis. I need to wear shoes. Give some warning so I won’t come. I don’t want to hang out with loonies like you anyway.

I went to a party with my former BF and it was a "shoe-free" home. The issue was that my left leg was in a walking boot due to fracturing my ankle. The hosts wanted me to take my walking boot off and leave my crutches at the door, as well. I understood the boot and crutch tips could have dirt and gross stuff on the bottom, but it was odd and uncomfortable to have to sit on the couch the entire time we were there due to being unable to walk. Needless to say, we only stayed a brief time.

Now that is rude of the hosts, you had special circumstances, I can't believe they wanted you to take off your walking boot, that is weird

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not particularly weird, but I’m not a fan of situations where the host asks you to remove shoes and there’s no advance warning that it’s a shoe-free house and no provision of slippers. From cold feet, to holey socks, to athlete’s foot, there are a lot of reasons why some of us are more comfortable with shoes on and need some sort of heads-up if we must remove them.

That’s a reflection more on you than on them. Don’t wear socks with holes, and clean/treat your damn feet! It shouldn’t be a matter of concern to take your shoes off!

Ugh, I hate sanctimonious people like you. I have plantar fasciitis. I need to wear shoes. Give some warning so I won’t come. I don’t want to hang out with loonies like you anyway.

I went to a party with my former BF and it was a "shoe-free" home. The issue was that my left leg was in a walking boot due to fracturing my ankle. The hosts wanted me to take my walking boot off and leave my crutches at the door, as well. I understood the boot and crutch tips could have dirt and gross stuff on the bottom, but it was odd and uncomfortable to have to sit on the couch the entire time we were there due to being unable to walk. Needless to say, we only stayed a brief time.

Anonymous wrote:I assume that if I go to someone's house, I'll take my shoes off.

This

If you go to someone's house, assume that you will take your shoes off. My mother in law NEVER takes her shows off, she even puts her shoes on my couch. My husband tells her to take them off and she'll do it but then the next time she comes over she leaves them on again. It's like she was raised in a barn.....

Anonymous wrote:It’s not particularly weird, but I’m not a fan of situations where the host asks you to remove shoes and there’s no advance warning that it’s a shoe-free house and no provision of slippers. From cold feet, to holey socks, to athlete’s foot, there are a lot of reasons why some of us are more comfortable with shoes on and need some sort of heads-up if we must remove them.

If I have never been to someone’s home, I always assume it’s a shoe free house

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not particularly weird, but I’m not a fan of situations where the host asks you to remove shoes and there’s no advance warning that it’s a shoe-free house and no provision of slippers. From cold feet, to holey socks, to athlete’s foot, there are a lot of reasons why some of us are more comfortable with shoes on and need some sort of heads-up if we must remove them.

That’s a reflection more on you than on them. Don’t wear socks with holes, and clean/treat your damn feet! It shouldn’t be a matter of concern to take your shoes off!

Ugh, I hate sanctimonious people like you. I have plantar fasciitis. I need to wear shoes. Give some warning so I won’t come. I don’t want to hang out with loonies like you anyway.

Anonymous wrote:Let's hear some more weird habits! When I was a teenager I was learning about saving water. So at a friends house, I tried out the following thinking I was being respectful.

I would turn the water on, get my hair wet. turn it off, shampoo. Turn on rinse. Turn off and condition. Repeat this for soap, etc. . My friends Thought there was bizarre and had taken like 5 diffent showers.


NP

I’ll often do that when I’m shaving my legs.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not particularly weird, but I’m not a fan of situations where the host asks you to remove shoes and there’s no advance warning that it’s a shoe-free house and no provision of slippers. From cold feet, to holey socks, to athlete’s foot, there are a lot of reasons why some of us are more comfortable with shoes on and need some sort of heads-up if we must remove them.

I don't mind it unless it's more of a dressy/formal event where my shoes are part of my outfit. I was wearing cute boots one time I went to a friend's holiday party and I wear them with my thick ugly socks to keep them from bothering my feet. It was a "shoe off" house, so I had to sit on a chair and have my husband pull my boots off for me and then spend the whole evening in thick ugly socks with an otherwise cute outfit. I'm totally fine with shoes off for playdates and things of that nature, but if you're hosting a nicer function at your house then you should be ok with people wearing shoes.