Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she make you and DH feel guilty or obligated? Or to fear for her?

Guilty. She had done it in quiet and evasive ways such as saying: "You disappointed me". DH is emotional guy and this deeply impacted him.

Look at the descriptions for BPD and NPD (also look for subsequent posters to blast you - sorry in advance). MIL doesn't sound soooo bad according to your desciption but signs are there. She can perform for others. She takes stuff out on people who are closer.

+1

My MIL, FIL and BIL - all have personality disorders. FIL is NPD, BIL is BPD and MIL has DPD. It is a cocktail of mental illnessess and being with them for even a short period of time is absolutely traumatic.

https://outofthefog.website/overview

Someone recommended this site on DCUM on another thread and it was a revelation. Every single trait was spot-on. The best way to deal with this kind of personality is to be very self aware (along with your DH), and do not get "hoovered" into their drama. This is mental illness, this is not her trying to be an evil person. Her actions will remain very manipulative and deceptive. Learn about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she make you and DH feel guilty or obligated? Or to fear for her?

Guilty. She had done it in quiet and evasive ways such as saying: "You disappointed me". DH is emotional guy and this deeply impacted him.

Look at the descriptions for BPD and NPD (also look for subsequent posters to blast you - sorry in advance). MIL doesn't sound soooo bad according to your desciption but signs are there. She can perform for others. She takes stuff out on people who are closer.

Is the only way to deal with her, if she has BDP and NPD, to cut her off?

I don't think so, based on what you've said here. I would not cut off for childish behavior alone. Some narcissists are super toxic, and yes, in that case. Maybe talk to a therapist to get better insight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she make you and DH feel guilty or obligated? Or to fear for her?

Guilty. She had done it in quiet and evasive ways such as saying: "You disappointed me". DH is emotional guy and this deeply impacted him.

Look at the descriptions for BPD and NPD (also look for subsequent posters to blast you - sorry in advance). MIL doesn't sound soooo bad according to your desciption but signs are there. She can perform for others. She takes stuff out on people who are closer.

Is the only way to deal with her, if she has BDP and NPD, to cut her off?