Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was my husband and his mom.

His mom sacrificed to send him to private and he never appreciated it. Why? He thinks it was a foolish financial decision. His mom’s retirement was delayed for years because of it. He could have been sent to a solid local school.

NP here. What age did your DH come to this conclusion? I think age 6 would be early for that.

OP I expected you to say that your DD had been playing with neighborhood kids during the snow days, and that she was asking to leave her private, so she could go to school with them. I do think a lot of elementary kids hit a wall in March, April or May. They're tired.

In his 30s when he decided on public his own kids and realized that just like us, his family had a good neighborhood school their taxes dollars went to and they should have used. His parents complain about retirement money but spent close to a million educating two children and this was years ago. It simply isn’t a good decision to send your kids to private unless you’re insanely wealthy or your children truly can’t receive a decent education from their public school.

Don't all kids whine about going to school when they are little? Mine definitely prefer family days. But if course the minute they get to school they are perfectly happy.

Anonymous wrote:This was my husband and his mom.

His mom sacrificed to send him to private and he never appreciated it. Why? He thinks it was a foolish financial decision. His mom’s retirement was delayed for years because of it. He could have been sent to a solid local school.

NP here. What age did your DH come to this conclusion? I think age 6 would be early for that.

OP I expected you to say that your DD had been playing with neighborhood kids during the snow days, and that she was asking to leave her private, so she could go to school with them. I do think a lot of elementary kids hit a wall in March, April or May. They're tired.

My kids do the same when their routine gets messed up. We have a three-day weekend and all of a sudden they're constantly asking when it's family day again. And they love school. I wouldn't put too much stock in it unless of course she tells you something is wrong. Keep asking, and come up with different ways to ask. However, I personally would never bring up the cost of the school to her. Our kids are in private because we want them there (and they're happy, they're not being forced to go to that school), and yes it's a drain financially, but I would never expect them to enjoy themselves just because it costs money. Honestly, I don't even expect them to get good grades because it costs money. I have the same expectations for them at school (work hard, be kind, etc.) that I would if their education were free. I think you need to stop projecting some sort of requirement on your daughter just because her school is expensive. That's going to lead to stress for her down the road that she doesn't need. You made that choice, not her.

Kids sometimes complain about going to school. It was your choice to send her to a school you cannot comfortably afford, and it's unreasonable to expect her to be so grateful for this sacrifice that she never complains about school. It's fine to talk about things like budgets with kids, but it's not okay to make them responsible for your financial worries.

She might have just been complaining because all these snow days and half-days and delayed starts are unsettling for kids. But if she has a real problem at school, she's likely to hesitate to tell you, because you've made it clear that because the school is expensive, she is not to complain about it. Not a good dynamic.

It’s not your daughter’s fault you chose a school you can’t comfortably afford. She’s a kid. And your little tirade made it damn sure she’s not going to share with you if something actually is going on. And consider that at 6, she might not even be able to explain why she’s uncomfortable at school.

I would apologize, try to have a real conversation about the environment at school, and consider why you’re choosing private.

She is acting like a kid, you acted like a parent. Just don't make it a habit of presenting yourself as a martyr for her sake all the time.

Sorry about the typos above. I should really know not to post before my coffee and without my glasses.

She's in k? so it's Midway through her first year of school. There were some snow days. She's six. That's pretty normal to complain and not want to go.

And if there is something else going on, y giving her that lecture really gave her the message that she shouldn't tell you if there's something going on at school. Trust me. If there is something going on school making her unhappy, she did not hear that part about telling you.

also, a snapshot of her mood while you're there is some room mom occasionally isn't accurate

All that aside, you took a what it's likely a normal complaining from a six-year-old and spiral that. Fine. We all have those moments. But now you know. Tuition all that is not her business or choice.

try to redirect her whining or ignore it instead of taking it personally. You're the adult

Private or public is your decision. I would get this child a calendar (a cute one with puppy dogs) and together highlight school holidays. Place it prominently and allow her to X our each day. Be positive and look forward to upcoming events.

This was my husband and his mom.

His mom sacrificed to send him to private and he never appreciated it. Why? He thinks it was a foolish financial decision. His mom’s retirement was delayed for years because of it. He could have been sent to a solid local school.

His mom still tries to make him feel guilty. But he didn’t have any role in deciding to be sent to a private school. OP if you’re already having these arguments with your child, you’re in for a long ride. Buckle up.

I remember doing something similar in early elementary at my private. My parent eventually sent me to public and it was a great decision for many reasons.

You’re simply being taught by your daughter that private doesn’t matter.

It's not her fault you chose an expensive school. Put her in public if it's such a burden she can't even vent about normal kid stuff without being made to feel ungrateful for your sacrifice.

OP, all these snow days are very unsettling for kids this age (And half days, holidays, etc.) Your child may be asking a legitimate question. Do I have to go to school tomorrow. I know mine is, and she goes to public school.

I see this as an innocent inquiry or statement. This had nothing to do with finances and was not a knock on you or way to sound ungrateful. You really turned this into an ugly moment for no reason.

Are you sure theres not (subtle) bullying going on? It is easily missed by teachers, even the most vigilant ones, and your Dd might not recognize (or want to admit to it) it.