We have it. It sucked for the first 4 months or so, but now DD2 pretty much sleeps through the night and DD1 always sleeps through (she's 3). It's really not a big deal to go upstairs and we have a daybed in the nursery so that we could pass out in there in the early days. The pros are that once they are asleep for the night, we are downstairs and really feel separate and don't have to worry about waking them.

Also two kids, and 2 c-sections. Our master has always been on the main level (2 different houses), and the kids were upstairs. Both kids spent some time in a bassinet in our room early on, and I just went upstairs to nurse for the middle of the night feeding once they moved up to the nursery. It wasn't that big of a deal. I had a changing pad in our bedroom and most diapers during the day were changed downstairs. We had video monitors for both kids, and a gate at the top and bottom of the stairs in the early years. I actually liked the separation, as it gives DH and I more opportunities for intimacy. It is especially nice now that the kids are older.

We had two children in a setup almost like this (although in our case, the master was upstairs and the second bedroom was downstairs).

Things I liked about it: We weren't as worried about waking kids up with lights, noise, or other parental nighttime activities. The baby/kid mess could stay more contained. And it felt like we weren't all on top of each other.

When kid #1 was a baby, DC stayed in a basinette in our room for the first 3 months before moving to the nursery crib. We had a unicorn, so there weren't a lot of night wakeups after that. For the occasional sick episodes/bad dreams/sleep wonkiness, one parent would nap on the nursery floor or in the recliner as needed. Once DC1 was able to get out of crib/bed, we just kept reinforcing "if you wake up, come upstairs and get us."

When kid #2 was born, that DC also slept in a pack-n-play in our room. By the time baby was 5-6 mos. old, we were househunting and moved before DC's first birthday.

If you are anxious by nature (THREE monitors in 500 sq ft?) this might not be the best setup for you. But there's nothing inherently dangerous or neglectful about it.

DD (2.5yo) has a bedroom on the floor above ours. We moved to this house when she was 18 months old. She's a good sleeper so it's been fine. If we had been in this house when she was born, it would've been annoying to climb the stairs for night-time feedings, but not awful. She was sleeping 12 hours straight by 5.5 months anyway, and until 5 months she was in a bassinet in our room, so it wouldn't have made a huge difference.

The bigger issue would've been the stairs for my mom and MIL, who helped take care of her a lot during her first year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it's fine. I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. Both sttn since 3 months. At 3 months I moved them from the bassinet to the nursery. When they're super young and waking up, they'll be next to you in the bassinet. Besides, the majority of time when kids cry in the middle of the night, they settle and go back to sleep after 5 minutes. So it's okay if you're a minute away upstairs.

You got very lucky! But OP, even if you do not have unicorn babies like the PP, it will be okay. Keep baby in your room for first several months, then use a monitor and sleep train.

Unicorn babies? I would say most babies are mostly sttn by 3 months if you've done any sort of mild sleep training.

A setup like this wears you out. My current house is like this. I hate it and didn't think about when we bought it. The baby ended up staying in our room longer to compensate for all of the stairs. I also kept the monitor longer because it was harder to hear when separated by a floor.

Anonymous wrote:My sister in law (Husband's sister) and her husband bought a house like this when their oldest was 3 and she was pregnant with their 2nd.
They used the "master bedroom" as a guest suite and slept on the same floor as their children for many years.
Why can't you and your husband do that?

It sounds like the house only has 2 bedrooms

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it's fine. I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. Both sttn since 3 months. At 3 months I moved them from the bassinet to the nursery. When they're super young and waking up, they'll be next to you in the bassinet. Besides, the majority of time when kids cry in the middle of the night, they settle and go back to sleep after 5 minutes. So it's okay if you're a minute away upstairs.

OP here thanks for this, I hate to cherry pick positive responses but it’s so easy for ppl to say just buy bigger or stay in your apt. Just bummed at my situation although I should be grateful I can even be in a position to buy.

I have the opposite situation, with the master upstairs and the kids downstairs. It’s fine. We didn’t use monitors, but our house is small and it’s easy to hear everything.

We’ve had no problem with this, OP. I have a 5 year old whose room is upstairs while our master is on the 1st floor. We kept him in our room for the first 8 months since he was nursing and that helped me sleep. Then he was in his own room, with a monitor on. It was never a problem. We could hear him fine on the monitor and go up when needed.

Now, at 5, we still use the monitor. He switched to a twin bed from the crib at about 3.5 yrs and it was no problem at all. We have a night light in the hallway and in the staircase and he sometimes comes down stairs to snuggle early in the AM. A few times when he has been sick I have slept upstairs. And it takes me just a second to get to him if he needs us.

What helped me realize it was NBD was reading about the importance of keeping bedroom doors closed at night. It makes a HUGE difference in house fire survival. So, it’s not like doors would be open even in adjacent rooms on the same floor. One staircase away is not all that different than down the hall with doors shut anyway.

Buy the house!

Anonymous wrote:We did this op
We have 3 bedrooms up and a master down.
Yes we could be upstairs, but we haven’t done that.
Kid was 2 when we moved in.
We have a great video monitor.
Our kid calls for us to come up and only recently ( at 3 1/2) started coming down on her own. It’s just her upstairs. I was pregnant with a second when we bought, but it didn’t pan out. Now my little snuggle is rattling around upstairs by herself. I do have plenty of room for guests! That’s nice.
I will say, that I live deep in a dark scary wood, so when my husband is out of town, we all ( kid and 80lb dog) sleep together in my bed downstairs. Mostly because I watch too many scary movies...

OP - that sounds cute and cozy, all piled up (and the strongest defense of course haha)!

We did this op
We have 3 bedrooms up and a master down.
Yes we could be upstairs, but we haven’t done that.
Kid was 2 when we moved in.
We have a great video monitor.
Our kid calls for us to come up and only recently ( at 3 1/2) started coming down on her own. It’s just her upstairs. I was pregnant with a second when we bought, but it didn’t pan out. Now my little snuggle is rattling around upstairs by herself. I do have plenty of room for guests! That’s nice.
I will say, that I live deep in a dark scary wood, so when my husband is out of town, we all ( kid and 80lb dog) sleep together in my bed downstairs. Mostly because I watch too many scary movies...

OP here - i have three nest cams got them for a deal and using one as a monitor when we're in the living room and he's napping in our 500sq ft one bedroom. i'm so anxious about this decision, this thread didn't help, just made me feel crappier about my situation. i knew most people would choose not to, i don't want to be on different levels. anyway just venting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why they make baby monitors! If you have a second, you can have a crib in you room until 6-12 months and then move them in together. OP, the house is how a LOT of people lived before everyone starting expecting en suites and masters, etc.

I don't know about this. For the non-mobile baby phase, you're fine with a monitor, but my toddler still comes out at night to find me sometimes now that she's out of the crib. You'd need to make sure that you put up baby gates so she doesn't tumble down the stairs.

As long as your kid is old enough to understand the concept of a monitor, you can just teach them to yell if they need something in the middle of the night —my 2 year old will just yell “mommy I need you!” until I come to her room. Get a good monitor though. We use both a nest cam and a Phillips avent one.

Anonymous wrote:This is why they make baby monitors! If you have a second, you can have a crib in you room until 6-12 months and then move them in together. OP, the house is how a LOT of people lived before everyone starting expecting en suites and masters, etc.

I don't know about this. For the non-mobile baby phase, you're fine with a monitor, but my toddler still comes out at night to find me sometimes now that she's out of the crib. You'd need to make sure that you put up baby gates so she doesn't tumble down the stairs.

No way