I think every Mom does that at some point. It is not fun but it is curable. I have to have some "ME" time (https://bit.ly/2J99vga). Plan for it, take it and realize that it is important not only for yourself but for your family's well being. Take a class, get a part time job that can be at home or at a job site, go to an exercise class, write, read, plant a garden, take a "Her Royal Majesty the Queen Bath." or go on a date with the hubby. Find something that interests you and do it. I am praying for you to find the "you" God created you to be and be able to live in it. Enjoy and be blessed. Ask yourself-what do I want to do for an hour? Sometimes I just answered "sit still and be quiet." But you can start there. You will find yourself and it will make you a better Mom and wife.

PS, I have been lost more than once. But I have been found.So sorry for your losses.

Similar to you in some ways but my mom had cancer, kids had SN and I’m now 16 years in. See a therapist if possible. I wish I had taken steps sooner. I was blissfully happy for the first 8 years of parenthood and loved being a SAHM. Then my mom got sick and one child after another was diagnosed with this and that. The next 5 years were like a fog. I was so focused on my mom and kids and just putting one foot in front of the other. Then my mom passed and I literally fell to pieces. My kids issues are resolved and they don’t need me as much. Life is so much less stressful than all those years ago but I feel like I’ve lost who I am.

That sounds so hard - I can very much relate to your dad's stroke and how hard that is. My mom suffered a traumatic brain injury/surgery and months in rehab 2 years ago and now is no longer the strong single mom I grew up with and it breaks my heart. I see glimmers of her old self, but now when we are together, I'm making sure she has groceries and running errands with/for her since she can't drive now. My sister and I really struggle with not thinking about how things used to be.

I'm still in the muddling through phase, but anticipate that I'll be in your shoes in a few years..

Hope you can find yourself again - maybe a hobby or activity you'd like to get into? If I had more time I'd like to get back into quilting, running, or even rowing.

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar experience. I found myself sitting on a park bench sobbing the week before I turned 40, with aging parents, young kids, a job and a marriage, and I was totally lost. The me I was had been lost. I didn’t feel like I had changed, really, just that I had forgotten myself. I picked a couple of things that had been key to my identity in previous points in my life and started doing them again - best thing was taking back up a much-loved sport. Makes me feel like my 20 year old self. Hope you find yourself soon, OP!

What is your sport?

Thank you to all the additional PP's who have given me suggestions and shared their stories. I really am grateful!

I'm sorry about your dad, but realize that you are/were bound to change (and re-identify yourself) regardless. That is part of life with its ever changing dynamics - new house/neighborhood, kids growing up, various relationships mature or die. It happens to all of us. We all sorta evolve during the many chapters of our lives.

I wouldn't dwell on the past. Start looking forward and be present in the moment.

If you want, write some daily confirmations/observations/feelings in a journal.