OP: I get that when you have your children in your late 20s/early 30s, most of your old friends are single or married without children, and you are looking for mom friends. Totally get that - I'm in my early 40s and still don't really have any mom friends (I'm friendly with other moms, but only because I see them at school events for my older child, and birthday parties for my younger child).

One thing that I try to remember is that the playdates aren't about me or creating friendships for myself, they are about nurturing my child's friendships. So even if I don't care for a mom (she's snobby, she doesn't seem to like me, I don't think we'll have anything in common), I still do the playdate because I want my child to be happy and have good friends. I think we would both be doing our children a great disservice by turning down playdates because the mom isn't someone we care for or want to be friends with.

I am an older mom and my experience is fine. Some people may not like me because of my personality or my age but I don't really care . . . Not everyone has to like and be friends with everyone. I'm civil to everyone and don't have many conflicts with other people.

Anonymous wrote:If you are an older mom as in you appear to be a grandmother to many people, what is your experience like? An older mom approached me for a playdate at pickup at DD's school but I'm not going to lie she rubbed me the wrong with with her authoritative speaking tone. It was almost as if she was demanding a playdate. Good grief.

Unless the kids are really small and you will accompany your child to the play date, wtf? If it’s a drop off, thank her and accept, so long as your children get along. Sometimes, “authoritative” is actually just “direct” and “clear”..

Signed,
Older mother who is tired of it taking 15 texts to set up anything with younger parents (and no, we don’t have to become besties, either)

It’s funny, OP. In our minds we all look and feel like our 20 year old selves. To others, not so much. You probably look old too.

Get over it. There are a lot of inappropriately assertive people in this area, regardless of age or parenting status.

OP, are you sure you are not projecting some personal trauma?

I’m 40 with a toddler but also have kids in elementary. There are several moms in elementary with mostly gray hair and most definitely look like grandmothers. Their youngest is in elementary and may have older kids in high school or college. I find them kind and don’t mind them at all.

Biggest difference is when kids are young, Play Date is usually for moms so if you aren’t interested in hanging out with a grandma, just decline. When kids are older, parents can drop off so it shouldn’t matter if mom is grandma.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are an older mom as in you appear to be a grandmother to many people, what is your experience like? An older mom approached me for a playdate at pickup at DD's school but I'm not going to lie she rubbed me the wrong with with her authoritative speaking tone. It was almost as if she was demanding a playdate. Good grief.

She’d have the same personality if she were 21. You’re nasty regardless of age, too, and not as fresh-looking as you think.
Cheers!

Good Lord! Bless your nasty heart.

Anonymous wrote:If you are an older mom as in you appear to be a grandmother to many people, what is your experience like? An older mom approached me for a playdate at pickup at DD's school but I'm not going to lie she rubbed me the wrong with with her authoritative speaking tone. It was almost as if she was demanding a playdate. Good grief.

She’d have the same personality if she were 21. You’re nasty regardless of age, too, and not as fresh-looking as you think.
Cheers!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does appearance have to do with it?

But but but... she looked like a GRANDMOTHER!

I’m wondering what a grandmother looks like? Mrs. Doubtfire or Goldie Hawn?

She literally is a cross between the two. She has the aging of Mrs. Doubtfire but the blond hair of Goldie. It's her personality then, I get it.

I don't think you do get it. At all.

I'm wondering if all younger moms have substandard critical thinking skills.

Oh, wait, I'm not. Because I'm not an idiot.

Hmm, I'm an older mom, but have yet to be mistaken for a Grandma, I'm also not bossy, just like I wasn't bossy in my 20s or 30s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does appearance have to do with it?

But but but... she looked like a GRANDMOTHER!

I’m wondering what a grandmother looks like? Mrs. Doubtfire or Goldie Hawn?

She literally is a cross between the two. She has the aging of Mrs. Doubtfire but the blond hair of Goldie. It's her personality then, I get it.

I don't think you do get it. At all.

Anonymous wrote:You hear that, ladies? Should you have children in your late 30s or even your 40s, therefore becoming an "older' mom, you're going to transform into an authoritative grandmotherly figure and run around demanding playdates from "young" moms. Beware!