I'm so sorry, dear OP. Just want to give you a big hug. This man may have a mental disorder, he might be using drugs, who knows what's going on with him, but what he did was unacceptable and I feel for you. My own husband has done irrational, cruel and dangerous things, but has never called the cops.

Call a lawyer ASAP and don't ask your spouse for anything right now. He might hurt your children.

Definitely, leave and as soon as possible. He sounds mentally ill.

Get out. You can try contacting a local domestic violence group and they may be able to refer you to lawyers.

Can someone give her some lawyer recommendations please? I think she needs specifics.

It’s not as easy as “I need a lawyer” for some people.

It’s also not as easy To deal with when you aren’t dealing with trauma- so someone who specializes With domestic violence victims.

May I gently ask something that people will surely jump all over me for and say it’s not relevant? Why is your 10 month old baby waking up so many times during the night? I mean yes he sounds psychotic and like a flight risk - BUT. Is it possible that he is having a hard time understanding why a 10 month old still needs to be fed during the night and is taking it out on you?

NP. I’m so sorry, OP. I can’t decide whether to recommend leaving now and then visiting lawyers, or visiting lawyers in the next 2-3 days (quickly!) and getting their advice before leaving (again, quickly!).

Set up a private email. Clear your phone regularly. Go see a lawyer and pay the lawyer in a way that he won't be able to see. In other words - run this operation like it's matter of life and death. Gather information - the lawyer will tell you what you need. You're going to need to photocopy (or print out) things like bank records etc if you think he will try to hide assets. Rent a place and start furnishing it and making it a home, and do all the prep work involved to leave, so when it happens you can cleanly leave and move into a safe space.

Document, document, document. Meanwhile, do not provoke. Calmly and rationally send me emails (and print them out) that state the specifics of what happened, but leave details/emotions out. Suggest in writing counseling. In other words, on paper (and in real life!) be the reasonable one.

But most importantly see a lawyer (or two) and know your rights. Take no action until you know what your plan will be.

There is a yahoo group in this area called GoMomGo - it's a support group for women in divorce. Many. have bene in domestic violence situations. Apply to join and you will learn a lot from the other members.

Anonymous wrote:He sounds psychotic. Leave him.

He's not psychotic. He knows what he's doing. He's a pretty classic abuser.

OP, this guy has totally reset your normal meter. I can't picture leaving my crying, hungry baby with a guy who has said he will not feed the kid (at a minimum). Get out of this situation and it will seem just as crazy to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get out. Get a lawyer, and frankly, I'd see if you could get him to relinquish his parental rights.

He will never do that. The baby is way to good of a tool to manipulate/abuse her. We can see that just from his actions.

Perhaps, but I'd still try.

Don't broach anything like that at this point. Don't show any of your cards at all.

Yeah - I'd tell my lawyer this to work up to a strategy, but I'd definitely do it.

He sounds psychotic. Leave him.

leave OP. Is this the kind of role model you want for your kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get out. Get a lawyer, and frankly, I'd see if you could get him to relinquish his parental rights.

He will never do that. The baby is way to good of a tool to manipulate/abuse her. We can see that just from his actions.

Perhaps, but I'd still try.

Don't broach anything like that at this point. Don't show any of your cards at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get out. Get a lawyer, and frankly, I'd see if you could get him to relinquish his parental rights.

He will never do that. The baby is way to good of a tool to manipulate/abuse her. We can see that just from his actions.

Perhaps, but I'd still try.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did the cops do?

separated us, took our statements, told us to get marriage counseling.

No marriage counseling. Individual counseling for you to figure out why you’re with this man and how to navigate your future interactions with this crazy hostile man since for some reason you bore his children.
It is time for you to leave.

+100 - but no judging you for being with him. I'm sure he was great in the beginning, they all are.