Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the wonderful advice. Yes, I do indeed have a close family member who was a serious alcoholic but has been sober for 35 years now. I know what his alcoholism looked like and because my use is different, I question the label. But given the family history and my current disappointment in my resolve, I think it’s time to readdress. I have had periods in my life when I’ve gone cold turkey (when I was pregnant and nursing, on prescription medication, Whole30 or another cleanse) and I’ve had no trouble quitting when I’ve felt the need. I’m questioning what’s going on right now that I’m using alcohol as a crutch. Whether my addiction is habitual or chemical or both matters to me in how I seek treatment. My father was hospitalized for weeks to detox. I don’t think that’s necessary, and while I do think that cold turkey may be the only way, that makes me very sad.

Why don’t you try to just drink on the weekends first? See how that goes, and if it’s too hard, then go cold turkey. Drink lots of water and eat lots of protein and be gentle with yourself during the time of transition.

Anonymous wrote:Swap it for something else. Get ginger ale or some sort of gourmet soda - something that still feels like a treat but doesn't have alcohol in it. Worked for me.

Except that's still a lot of sugar/calories.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like The Naked Mind is mentioned so much on here, from the many different threads like these. I had never heard of it outside of DCUM. Is there a marketing person on here touting this??

No. I saw it a few times and read it. It's a book of reasons to not drink basically.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the wonderful advice. Yes, I do indeed have a close family member who was a serious alcoholic but has been sober for 35 years now. I know what his alcoholism looked like and because my use is different, I question the label. But given the family history and my current disappointment in my resolve, I think it’s time to readdress. I have had periods in my life when I’ve gone cold turkey (when I was pregnant and nursing, on prescription medication, Whole30 or another cleanse) and I’ve had no trouble quitting when I’ve felt the need. I’m questioning what’s going on right now that I’m using alcohol as a crutch. Whether my addiction is habitual or chemical or both matters to me in how I seek treatment. My father was hospitalized for weeks to detox. I don’t think that’s necessary, and while I do think that cold turkey may be the only way, that makes me very sad.

My dad quit drinking when I was 16. He was a steady drinker. My mom played the long-suffering wife of an alcoholic and later of a recovering alcoholic and by the time she passed away, I realized she was dependent on alcohol, too, but in a very quiet way that she kept from other people. My kid turned out to be a trainwreck drinker who could not stop once she started - which was one of the reasons I think she was able to stop, because it was obviously so bad and she knew the family history. If she'd been a steady, apparently social drinker it would have gone on much longer since it wouldn't have seemed out of place. She would have ended up like my mom. Anyway, you have to find the treatment that works for you. Good luck!

Why not slow down your consumption first. Limit yourself to a single glass you savor, or alternate nights and see how you feel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was exactly like you. My one wine a night had crept to 2 and a half over many years. It wasn’t doing anything - I didn’t feel buzzed and it felt like a bad habit. I was contemplating whether I need to up my night time wine habit to 3 glasses!

I ended up reading The Naked Mind after a recommendation on here. It really worked for me. I actually don’t feel like a wine at night anymore. In fact I don’t really feel like drinking all that much.

It has now been a month of no drinking and I am sleeping better and have lost 5 lbs. I am not a big person so this is a lot for me. I would recommend reading it.

A GLASS of wine. Not "a wine." That's not a unit of consumption. One might infer an entire bottle of wine from your sloppy grammar!

It looks like your drinking has led to a reading comprehension problem

Anonymous wrote:I was exactly like you. My one wine a night had crept to 2 and a half over many years. It wasn’t doing anything - I didn’t feel buzzed and it felt like a bad habit. I was contemplating whether I need to up my night time wine habit to 3 glasses!

I ended up reading The Naked Mind after a recommendation on here. It really worked for me. I actually don’t feel like a wine at night anymore. In fact I don’t really feel like drinking all that much.

It has now been a month of no drinking and I am sleeping better and have lost 5 lbs. I am not a big person so this is a lot for me. I would recommend reading it.

A GLASS of wine. Not "a wine." That's not a unit of consumption. One might infer an entire bottle of wine from your sloppy grammar!

Find the CAGE questionnaire online and see if that helps you answer the question you posed.

being fat is bad for women because its not attractive

OP, I do also think you have a problem. Just reduce it gradually until you can stop or only drink occasionally.

I enjoy drinking. It relaxes me while I'm otherwise very high strung.

I make it a point to not drink during the week at all. My father was an alcoholic who died as a result of his drinking. I know I can easily slip into drinking every day and drinking too much. On the weekends I never drink more than 2 glasses of wine or 2-3 beers (but that's with food over several hours).

It's a good think you're getting it addressed now.

And I’m sad it makes me really sad.

Op here. Thanks for the wonderful advice. Yes, I do indeed have a close family member who was a serious alcoholic but has been sober for 35 years now. I know what his alcoholism looked like and because my use is different, I question the label. But given the family history and my current disappointment in my resolve, I think it’s time to readdress. I have had periods in my life when I’ve gone cold turkey (when I was pregnant and nursing, on prescription medication, Whole30 or another cleanse) and I’ve had no trouble quitting when I’ve felt the need. I’m questioning what’s going on right now that I’m using alcohol as a crutch. Whether my addiction is habitual or chemical or both matters to me in how I seek treatment. My father was hospitalized for weeks to detox. I don’t think that’s necessary, and while I do think that cold turkey may be the only way, that makes me very sad.

Try quitting cold turkey for a week. Based on what you suggest your age is, it is likely to be very eye-opening to how the alcohol is affecting you. Better sleep, more evening energy, more productive as a result. That in itself is quite motivating. Play the "think about the future" game and choose who you really want to be. I'm in your shoes too. It's hard, but I really believe not drinking at all is the way to go. Maybe some sipping tequila here or there (I choose shots, not sugar-filled margs). For me, one glass of wine can get the whole thing started again. Tequila, not so much. Look around at the (older) people you know who drink regularly and decide.. Do I want to have their skin? Their bodies? Their energy? Is that for me? And if you are drinking wine, it's very likely it's the SUGAR that you are actually addicted to. Cutting back on sugar can help your willpower. I find when I attempt to quit (have more than once!) I end up eating more candy or sweets.

Anonymous wrote:My opinion is similar to a PP’s above. I think we could sit here and parse out “alcoholic” or not alcoholic who just likes wine but the point isn’t the label here. You say you want to drink less and can not stop. Call it what you want but if you really mean you want to drink less and teally can’t stop yourself, then you are not in control or taking responsibility for your decision to have more, and that is the problem.

Agree. People worry a lot about whether they fit the definition of alcoholic or not - as if they are okay if they are not technically an alcoholic. The issue is that OP wants to drink less and is having a hard time doing it. So, OP, needs to address that.

The only thing I would add, OP, is if you have a close family member who is an addict - like a parent - you are in deep trouble because you probably have a genetic predisposition to addiction. Don't delay in addressing this. I know these things are hard. Best of luck to you.

OP, just go 5 days without alcohol. Can you do that? If you can't do that easily, you have a alcohol problem that needs serious help.