Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I envy you all. I'm at 8 months with nothing. I would be the happiest person alive if I could get to once per month.

+1

It's been a decade for me and my DH. But he's a good partner in many other respects, so for that and many other reasons, I feel I can't leave. I am going crazy for lack of affection.

Never thought that sex once a year would sound like a lot!

This is not a marriage. You have a roommate.

Need is about 2x a week. Want is about 3-6x a week. Current situation is about 2x a month.

I made a mistake s few years back and was fortunate to have broken it off without getting caught. In hindsight, I was happier then and so was she when I wasn't grumpy and pestering her for sex. We have talked about some alternative but she doesn't want an open marriage or divorce, says she will step up but never does.

And now the Robert Kraft story makes that alternative more risky. At least reading this thread I feel like misery has company

Anonymous wrote:Low 40's, married 15+ years. In my 20's 1-2 times a day, 30's every other day, now 3 times a week. Wife has low drive, sometimes only once a week, past that and I'm on edge. Ladies if you don't ever want sex, stay single.

Most of us start out wanting plenty of sex. By the time we're in our 50s or so, many of us don't have much desire for it any more--the hormones are gone. That's my story, anyway. Married 30 years and have sex once a week or so even though I don't really want it because I love my husband and it's important to him. You're saying I should have stayed single?

Sometimes I only get it 3x in a month.

Sometimes she’ll put out six times in two weeks. I could happily handle 5ish times per week.

When we go away she’ll put out every day, and do kinky stuff. Wish vacation was life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I envy you all. I'm at 8 months with nothing. I would be the happiest person alive if I could get to once per month.

+1

It's been a decade for me and my DH. But he's a good partner in many other respects, so for that and many other reasons, I feel I can't leave. I am going crazy for lack of affection.

Never thought that sex once a year would sound like a lot!

He’s not interested in sex? You should ask him if you can see someone on the side.

I've thought about it. But I really don't want sex without love. And falling in love with someone else would mean the end of my marriage. I will be more open to it once the kids are out of the house.

What’s the reason your husband doesn’t want sex?

Low 40's, married 15+ years. In my 20's 1-2 times a day, 30's every other day, now 3 times a week. Wife has low drive, sometimes only once a week, past that and I'm on edge. Ladies if you don't ever want sex, stay single.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I envy you all. I'm at 8 months with nothing. I would be the happiest person alive if I could get to once per month.

+1

It's been a decade for me and my DH. But he's a good partner in many other respects, so for that and many other reasons, I feel I can't leave. I am going crazy for lack of affection.

Never thought that sex once a year would sound like a lot!

He’s not interested in sex? You should ask him if you can see someone on the side.

I've thought about it. But I really don't want sex without love. And falling in love with someone else would mean the end of my marriage. I will be more open to it once the kids are out of the house.

63 years old, wife a bit younger. At least 4-5 times a week but sometimes that is BJ or HJ or other such fun. I need it a bit more than her and she can get sore easily. so not always PIV. During the week it's mostly sleepy sex after we've gone to bed. Weekends can be a full production where we act out things we've talked about during the week.

The need argument is dumb. You could survive years in solitary confinement with a feeding tube. Sex is the same as companionship, you don't need it but your quality of life sucks without it

I think “need” in terms of sex is the point below which it starts causing significant problems in your relationship. You could say I’d like/want sex more but need it X amount or I start to not feel connected to my partner.

Anonymous wrote:Need is bit of a stretch.

You mean want.

There is a famous book written by a clinical psychiatrist which is called His Needs, Her Needs. Notice the name: need, not want.
What do you think men’s #1 relationship need is? Sexual fulfillment.

Anonymous wrote:Need is bit of a stretch.

You mean want.

Point taken, but I don't think it's binary. It's not a "need" in the sense that, say, oxygen is a need. But, at the same time, going long enough without sex has adverse consequences on my marriage and probably everyone's. It's not a "want" in the same way, having pancakes sometimes is a want. I mean, I could go the rest of my life without pancakes and not really diminish my life in any appreciable way even though I want pancakes from time to time. Sex is somewhere in the middle.

Want = at least daily.
Reality = once every 5 weeks or so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I envy you all. I'm at 8 months with nothing. I would be the happiest person alive if I could get to once per month.

+1

It's been a decade for me and my DH. But he's a good partner in many other respects, so for that and many other reasons, I feel I can't leave. I am going crazy for lack of affection.

Never thought that sex once a year would sound like a lot!

He’s not interested in sex? You should ask him if you can see someone on the side.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I envy you all. I'm at 8 months with nothing. I would be the happiest person alive if I could get to once per month.

+1

It's been a decade for me and my DH. But he's a good partner in many other respects, so for that and many other reasons, I feel I can't leave. I am going crazy for lack of affection.

Never thought that sex once a year would sound like a lot!