Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

But wouldn’t you want them to learn this in a 3 hour morning preschool versus all day K.

Also, for those whose kids go to daycare I wouldn’t worry about not doing “preschool”. Most daycares are doing the same thing as the so called preschools for 3-4 year olds.

I mean ideally yes but I guess my question is is sparing her a difficult first two month of kindergarten worth stretching our family very thin?

OP, if you can’t spare a couple hundred dollars a month for part time church preschool, why on earth are you having a third kid? And your husband isn’t contributing to retirement to pay for nanny? Stop at 2. It’s all you can (barely!) afford!!!

No, as I explained earlier kind of, it is what we can afford responsibly. What we can afford while maintaining an emergency fund and contributing to retirement and not stretching the family thin. This would make me worried and cause us to move stuff around but it wouldn't be impossible or result in us being homeless or anything.

And this extraordinary cost will be gone in 5 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bigger concern is that you're spending "every spare dollar" on your nanny, yet you're planning to have a third child. Unless you're expecting salary increases soon, how are you going to afford #3 if you can't even shell out an extra $300/mo to help your already born child prepare for K?

I feel like people are very cavalier about money on this board. We are not struggling, and I guess it is exaggerating to say every spare dollar goes to nanny. But currently our fixed monthly expenses are about 65% of our income. And that doesn't include food or household expenses or repairs.

I don't want to say that we cannot afford another $300 a month payment. I'm just not sure it is responsible to. It is not that we can't afford a third child. We just can't afford to have a third child and pay for them all to have a preschool experience. Or we could, but the family might struggle a bit. I think keeping the family fiscally comfortable ALSO provides a significant benefit to my daughter, although one much less solid.

I'm not trying to be argumentative. When PP put the math out there like that, I see what she's saying. In my mind adding another $300 a month is very stressful, but not really that much when you add it up for just one year. It has definitely put it in perspective and given me something to think about.

No offense, OP, but you have stopped your husband's retirement contributions in order to pay for this childcare situation. It's not that other arrangements wouldn't provide excellent childcare (and also much of the socialization you seem to wan now), it's that you really wanted a nanny, so you stopped making the retirement contributions that will do the most good in the long run. Now, you're talking about limiting *your* retirement contributions, as well - you blew by "responsible" a while ago, and you're headed towards lunacy.

You can't afford preschool. You can't really afford the nanny either. And you probably can't afford a third (although this is where a nanny does come in handy, at least initially, because there's only a limited cost to add a third - but you're talking about another 2 years of the nanny, and presumably no DH retirement contributions).

How people do it is that they don't pay for both a full-time nanny and preschool--they put the children in a good play-based daycare program that has preschool components/programming for part of the day from ages 3+.

That doesn't sound like something you'd want to do--it sounds like you like and want to keep the nanny--but this is what most of the people I know do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

But wouldn’t you want them to learn this in a 3 hour morning preschool versus all day K.

Also, for those whose kids go to daycare I wouldn’t worry about not doing “preschool”. Most daycares are doing the same thing as the so called preschools for 3-4 year olds.

I mean ideally yes but I guess my question is is sparing her a difficult first two month of kindergarten worth stretching our family very thin?

OP, if you can’t spare a couple hundred dollars a month for part time church preschool, why on earth are you having a third kid? And your husband isn’t contributing to retirement to pay for nanny? Stop at 2. It’s all you can (barely!) afford!!!

How is the nanny supposed to teach preschool-related activities, and care for a newborn and a toddler.. That's ridiculous. The 4 yo needs some school, whether its part time or full time, you need to figure out a way, or wait to have the 3rd until the eldest i his Kindergarten.

YMMV, but as long as the kid knows the alphabet and letter sounds, and 1-10 (counting and sight), can write their name in any capacity, you’re good to go. Seriously.

And for what its worth. I would rather be able to give my nanny another raise at the end of the year (DH and I usually do get pay bumps and all of it has gone to the nanny the last couple of years). The cost of her allows us to spend a LOT of extra time with our kids that we think also provides a lot of value. So I guess we sacrificed already with childcare to create this situation so it is hard to start tacking things on top of it.

Also like I said #3 really isn't relevant here except in the context of #2. By the time nanny took over theoretical #3 DD would only be a few months away from K.

Anyway, just trying to think it through, thanks for everyone's thoughts.

Anonymous wrote:My bigger concern is that you're spending "every spare dollar" on your nanny, yet you're planning to have a third child. Unless you're expecting salary increases soon, how are you going to afford #3 if you can't even shell out an extra $300/mo to help your already born child prepare for K?

I feel like people are very cavalier about money on this board. We are not struggling, and I guess it is exaggerating to say every spare dollar goes to nanny. But currently our fixed monthly expenses are about 65% of our income. And that doesn't include food or household expenses or repairs.

I don't want to say that we cannot afford another $300 a month payment. I'm just not sure it is responsible to. It is not that we can't afford a third child. We just can't afford to have a third child and pay for them all to have a preschool experience. Or we could, but the family might struggle a bit. I think keeping the family fiscally comfortable ALSO provides a significant benefit to my daughter, although one much less solid.

I'm not trying to be argumentative. When PP put the math out there like that, I see what she's saying. In my mind adding another $300 a month is very stressful, but not really that much when you add it up for just one year. It has definitely put it in perspective and given me something to think about.

Anonymous wrote:My bigger concern is that you're spending "every spare dollar" on your nanny, yet you're planning to have a third child. Unless you're expecting salary increases soon, how are you going to afford #3 if you can't even shell out an extra $300/mo to help your already born child prepare for K?

good question.

My bigger concern is that you're spending "every spare dollar" on your nanny, yet you're planning to have a third child. Unless you're expecting salary increases soon, how are you going to afford #3 if you can't even shell out an extra $300/mo to help your already born child prepare for K?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

But wouldn’t you want them to learn this in a 3 hour morning preschool versus all day K.

Also, for those whose kids go to daycare I wouldn’t worry about not doing “preschool”. Most daycares are doing the same thing as the so called preschools for 3-4 year olds.

I mean ideally yes but I guess my question is is sparing her a difficult first two month of kindergarten worth stretching our family very thin?

Have you looked for a preschool that is just 2-3 days a week? I think you’re setting her up for a difficult time.

I'm not in DC. The local community preschool is $37 per half day and $48 per whole day so 296 and 384 a month respectively. I haven't found anything better than that and have looked around. Most places are significantly more expensive.

So $296 x 9 months= $2664. If I were spending 40k total on childcare it would definitely be worth it to me to spend less than 3k on preschool and set my DD up for a better K experience. She also will probably love it and love having her own big kid activity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

But wouldn’t you want them to learn this in a 3 hour morning preschool versus all day K.

Also, for those whose kids go to daycare I wouldn’t worry about not doing “preschool”. Most daycares are doing the same thing as the so called preschools for 3-4 year olds.

I mean ideally yes but I guess my question is is sparing her a difficult first two month of kindergarten worth stretching our family very thin?

Have you looked for a preschool that is just 2-3 days a week? I think you’re setting her up for a difficult time.

Are there other ways she can have a group/no-parent experience so she is used to transitioning away from you/the nanny, taking turns, etc.? A Sunday school class would help if you go to a church. Library programs or other classes.

We don't belong to a church. We do have a local library with a lot of events, I can look into that and start to get nanny to be more proactive about going to those.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

But wouldn’t you want them to learn this in a 3 hour morning preschool versus all day K.

Also, for those whose kids go to daycare I wouldn’t worry about not doing “preschool”. Most daycares are doing the same thing as the so called preschools for 3-4 year olds.

I mean ideally yes but I guess my question is is sparing her a difficult first two month of kindergarten worth stretching our family very thin?

Have you looked for a preschool that is just 2-3 days a week? I think you’re setting her up for a difficult time.

I'm not in DC. The local community preschool is $37 per half day and $48 per whole day so 296 and 384 a month respectively. I haven't found anything better than that and have looked around. Most places are significantly more expensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

But wouldn’t you want them to learn this in a 3 hour morning preschool versus all day K.

Also, for those whose kids go to daycare I wouldn’t worry about not doing “preschool”. Most daycares are doing the same thing as the so called preschools for 3-4 year olds.

I mean ideally yes but I guess my question is is sparing her a difficult first two month of kindergarten worth stretching our family very thin?

Have you looked for a preschool that is just 2-3 days a week? I think you’re setting her up for a difficult time.

Are there other ways she can have a group/no-parent experience so she is used to transitioning away from you/the nanny, taking turns, etc.? A Sunday school class would help if you go to a church. Library programs or other classes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to disagree with most of the other posters.

I agree that the nanny can teach all of the academics that would be covered in preschool but your DD would be missing the critical social and classroom time that is necessary before starting K. Learning how to sit through circle time, line up to go outside, listen to a variety of adults, share toys and materials with classmates, etc etc. I was a K teacher for 10 years and parents really underestimate the social prep kids need. I can teach reading and math to any kid that’s behind but for kids that don’t know the structure of a classroom it’s very obvious and they often struggle.

Genuine question. They will have the same struggle whenever they start though right? It would be an adjustment its just whether that happens at age 4 or age 5? I assume the kids are basically ok by first grade.

But wouldn’t you want them to learn this in a 3 hour morning preschool versus all day K.

Also, for those whose kids go to daycare I wouldn’t worry about not doing “preschool”. Most daycares are doing the same thing as the so called preschools for 3-4 year olds.

I mean ideally yes but I guess my question is is sparing her a difficult first two month of kindergarten worth stretching our family very thin?

Have you looked for a preschool that is just 2-3 days a week? I think you’re setting her up for a difficult time.