When my son was in high school and suddenly had a debilitating illness where he was losing all muscle control and no one could give us a diagnosis. We finally took him to a top hospital where they sat us down and said it was likely one of two things. One of them was that we'd lose him. Thank God it was the second one. My husbands hair turned gray within a matter of months but we were so happy with the outcome.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The call saying my brother was dead by suicide.

I haven’t recovered. I just move one day forward. I have had pockets of joy, including the birth of my son, and all of the happiness involved in his five years of life. But the brother-sized hole in my life is never filled and sometimes feels even bigger.

+1. Same situation. 13 years later and it still feels like yesterday

It's like living with an amputation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to go into too many details but I was young and lost a parent and favorite cousin along with so much more. I bounced back very slowly, more of a climb with one step at at time. The plus, 25 years later is that I'm grateful for every day that is not as bad as that year. My standards of happiness are so low that I'm really happy all the time. I wish you the best, keep looking forward.

I know exactly what you mean.

+1

So true! I trust people who act happy -- I know that they are not fake, and I know that they appreciate all that they have - truly. Sullen people bore me - they come across as spoiled, immature, naive and ungrateful.

What about just plain sad people... do you distrust them? Yeesh.

Can't begin to say how much I disagree. I know SO many people who act happy and are miserable; it is an act for them. There are lots of reasons to hang with/cast your lot with the happy seeming people. But what you are saying is really not know of them.

?

What are you talking about? Plenty of people are just sad. They are sad and they don't pretend to be happy. The PP was acting if you distrust sad people, since you said you trust happy people.

1. My mum died when I was 17 of a chronic illness. I should have been more sympathetic at the time. I wish I had been more sympathetic and took a long time to process it all.

2. Wife left me for someone else. This was the probably the worst and took a year or so before I could see a future. Having young kids means you don’t have the luxury of feeling sorry for yourself forever. I didn’t bounce back - it takes some time but after a few years I’m happier with my life. I read, opened myself to new experiences, thought what I wanted in life. A good quote I saw recently- We’re only here briefly I want to allow myself joy. So f**k it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to go into too many details but I was young and lost a parent and favorite cousin along with so much more. I bounced back very slowly, more of a climb with one step at at time. The plus, 25 years later is that I'm grateful for every day that is not as bad as that year. My standards of happiness are so low that I'm really happy all the time. I wish you the best, keep looking forward.

I know exactly what you mean.

+1

So true! I trust people who act happy -- I know that they are not fake, and I know that they appreciate all that they have - truly. Sullen people bore me - they come across as spoiled, immature, naive and ungrateful.

What about just plain sad people... do you distrust them? Yeesh.

It is not sad people that is the issue, as much as angry people - who need to grow up and deal with their anger issues.

Anonymous wrote:The call saying my brother was dead by suicide.

I haven’t recovered. I just move one day forward. I have had pockets of joy, including the birth of my son, and all of the happiness involved in his five years of life. But the brother-sized hole in my life is never filled and sometimes feels even bigger.

+1. Same situation. 13 years later and it still feels like yesterday

My baby almost died and was in the NICU.

Child with special needs.

Husband had an affair.

Difficult and messy divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to go into too many details but I was young and lost a parent and favorite cousin along with so much more. I bounced back very slowly, more of a climb with one step at at time. The plus, 25 years later is that I'm grateful for every day that is not as bad as that year. My standards of happiness are so low that I'm really happy all the time. I wish you the best, keep looking forward.

I know exactly what you mean.

+1

So true! I trust people who act happy -- I know that they are not fake, and I know that they appreciate all that they have - truly. Sullen people bore me - they come across as spoiled, immature, naive and ungrateful.

What about just plain sad people... do you distrust them? Yeesh.

Can't begin to say how much I disagree. I know SO many people who act happy and are miserable; it is an act for them. There are lots of reasons to hang with/cast your lot with the happy seeming people. But what you are saying is really not know of them.

Like the PP, mine was someone in my life that died. A child.

Time, therapy, hard work and some meds help.
You’ll learn over time that you can’t control much in life. The acceptance takes time, but it’s freeing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to go into too many details but I was young and lost a parent and favorite cousin along with so much more. I bounced back very slowly, more of a climb with one step at at time. The plus, 25 years later is that I'm grateful for every day that is not as bad as that year. My standards of happiness are so low that I'm really happy all the time. I wish you the best, keep looking forward.

I know exactly what you mean.

+1

So true! I trust people who act happy -- I know that they are not fake, and I know that they appreciate all that they have - truly. Sullen people bore me - they come across as spoiled, immature, naive and ungrateful.

What about just plain sad people... do you distrust them? Yeesh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to go into too many details but I was young and lost a parent and favorite cousin along with so much more. I bounced back very slowly, more of a climb with one step at at time. The plus, 25 years later is that I'm grateful for every day that is not as bad as that year. My standards of happiness are so low that I'm really happy all the time. I wish you the best, keep looking forward.

I know exactly what you mean.

+1

So true! I trust people who act happy -- I know that they are not fake, and I know that they appreciate all that they have - truly. Sullen people bore me - they come across as spoiled, immature, naive and ungrateful.

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to go into too many details but I was young and lost a parent and favorite cousin along with so much more. I bounced back very slowly, more of a climb with one step at at time. The plus, 25 years later is that I'm grateful for every day that is not as bad as that year. My standards of happiness are so low that I'm really happy all the time. I wish you the best, keep looking forward.

I know exactly what you mean.

Anonymous wrote:The day I got the call that my brother was in an accident. My mom just missed me before I got on a flight to CA, and I got a message from the flight attendant when we landed. This was before cell phones were common. I spent the entire day try to get back and then flying back to the east coast. I was bawling the entire plane ride. Luckily, I made it to the hospital and was able to be with him and my family at the moment he died.

Forgot to add, how I bounced back. I definitely didn’t bounce back and I wanted to die for the longest time. I still cry when I think about him, and it’s been almost 20 years. You just take it a day at a time and it becomes the new normal. I also finally got on antidepressants.

Anonymous wrote:When my cousin was sentenced to 75 years for molesting my brother and sister, and it was all over the news in our town. The abuse started almost immediately after I left to go to college in another state. He waited until I was gone to do it. I have tremendous guilt about it. My sister now weighs almost 400 pounds and my brother has come out as gender fluid and I wouldn’t be surprised if he is really trans so maybe a she). Neither has been stable as adults. I definitely think the abuse contributes to their unhappiness. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself.

It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

The day I got the call that my brother was in an accident. My mom just missed me before I got on a flight to CA, and I got a message from the flight attendant when we landed. This was before cell phones were common. I spent the entire day try to get back and then flying back to the east coast. I was bawling the entire plane ride. Luckily, I made it to the hospital and was able to be with him and my family at the moment he died.