Boy, won’t it feel good when this sytem falls apart for her, huh Op? Huh?? I mean, the nerve of her making different choices than you. I mean, is that what you want to hear? You do you, sis.

We don’t have communal toys. It all belongs to me and DH; we let the kids borrow it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are just hitting this (3 yr old and 1.5 yr old). I think we have come down on all toys in the PLAYROOM are communal. If you got a present you love and don't want to share you can keep it in your room and play with it there. But if you bring it to the communal area, its communal.

This is what we did. Perfect solution for us.

This is what we do with our young kids (2 and 5)

Is this seriously a question? Growing up this was the norm for all familes in my home country. American's are so selfish.

I did that when my boys were younger. They are now 7 and 9 and they have their own toys from birthdays, xmas, grandparents, etc.

I still make them share.

Toys are all pretty much shared by my 5&7 year old boys. They have certain things that are their like stuffed animals and they each have special treasures that they collect like souvenirs from trips, rocks etc. that are just theirs.

Except for a few stuffed animals and blankets, everything is communal between 6 year old girl and 3 year old boy. Books and toys travel freely between rooms regardless of their provenance. It works for us for now. I have older nieces and nephews who were always very territorial about their individual possessions and I found that whole scene unpleasant to be around so we’re trying it this way.

Wow, honestly it never occurred to me to do it any other way. Boys are only two and three, they are 18 months apart, and I can’t imagine trying to keep toys separate. They are not allowed to touch each other’s lovelies.
Otherwise, everything is shared. If you want to play by yourself, we set up a safe place for that to happen. But you cannot bring a cool new truck into the house and not share it.

Our twins share a room, but at 3 they each have one bin of toys that they don’t want to share. Everything else is communal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not gonna work with fancy LEGO sets or when they move up to Nintendos and whatnot. She should enjoy her fantasyland while she can.

Lots of people have different rules at 3 than when their kids are much older. It doesn't mean the rules were "fantasyland" when the kids were small. It means that rules change when kids grow.

+1

If she's currently enforcing this system, it's her reality and not a fantasy.

I had to share gaming systems with my sister. We fought like cats over it, but we still had to share.

I do this a little...

Any toys that are downstairs are shared toys. If a kid wants to play with their toy by themselves, they have to take it to their room.

The kids are little and nobody wants to play by themselves in their room, so this pretty much makes all the toys “shared toys.”

Anonymous wrote:We are just hitting this (3 yr old and 1.5 yr old). I think we have come down on all toys in the PLAYROOM are communal. If you got a present you love and don't want to share you can keep it in your room and play with it there. But if you bring it to the communal area, its communal.

This is what we did. Perfect solution for us.

This is functionally the rule in our house with 4 and 2 year olds (and a newborn, but he obviously doesn’t really count for these purposes). Kids are completely fine with it. We sort of acknowledge that one of the kids was given a gift, but the sharing rules are the same for things that are “theirs” and those that are their siblings’. Assume this will change at some point. Only exception right now is DD4’s violin, because DS2 isn’t old enough to take lessons or treat it appropriately.

I actually think it’s harder to parent this method, but I do think it’s beneficial when they’re young. When kids start preschool they have to share absolutely everything and most kids do fine with it, but some have a really hard time. Talking to those parents, they often have clean delineation of toys in their house, so the children don’t have practice stretching themselves and learning to share even if they don’t want to. Special stuffed animals are a different story, but if little larla got blocks for her birthday, why should larlo never get to play with them just because larla said so? As they get older and interests change, it becomes easier for the kids to manage this s they won’t always be into the same thing. But while they’re young, it might be harder to manage the sharing since the parent doesn’t get to say “don’t touch, it’s larlos” but instead may deal with the aftermath of the argument, but it’s ultimately beneficial to the children to learn that they don’t always get their own things, they have to take turns even if they don’t want to, and sharing is a kind thing to do.

—former teacher (both in preschool and Kindergarten)

My kids are 6 and 4.5 and most toys are communal. Not much fighting over toys in our house so I’d say it works. There are some things that are favorites but my kids seem to work that out between themselves.

The only issues seem to be right as a gift is opened up. Both kids want to be first to play with it, so whoever’s gift it was does go first.

Also, we will sometimes buy two of something that we know both kids will want to play with at the same time.