How are you planning to move forward, OP? In addition to not having more playdates with this family, it sounds like you need to work with your son on how to respond when other kids are behaving badly or there is peer pressure to behave badly. I would be concerned that he didn't say anything to you about what he saw (or maybe participated in) until the other kid brought it up.

Anonymous wrote:If the parents treat the Nanny poorly, like they are merely servants than it is likely their children will have zero respect for them either.

And that is just sad.

Yes.
Those kids are brats because they share the genes of their a hole parents and learned a hole behavior. You might think you notice more bratty kids among those that have nannies, but spending too much time with the nannies is not the cause. It’s that there is a higher percentage of adult brats among those that can afford to and do hire nannies v those than don’t. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Bratty adults shape bratty kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And these unloved kids come to school to give other kids the idea of mistreating other adults, including loving mothers.

No, they don't. They are acting out for love and attention. Kindness helps.

I treat brats the way brats should be treated and it isn't
With kindness and love. In fact, on one playdate I called the mother and told her to come get her brat.

Good plan...how sad for your kids to see how you treat other kids.

Not sad at all- your kids will see you as not putting up with obnoxious, disrespectful behavior. Good example, I would do the same.

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with a nanny and everything to do with the parents. It would appear that these parents hired a cheap nanny that cannot successfully set boundaries. Most nannies are much better at setting boundary and expectations compared to the parents.

+1

I almost always host play dates, but I always do the first one, so that my charges can be reminded that it doesn’t matter who the new kid is, same rules apply. I’m a heck of a lot stricter than any other adult around my charges, but I don’t ask for anything that isn’t possible. Kids will live up or down to your expectations, as long as they are clear and understood. Most parents love that I take videos of my charges and their friends while playing, and I’m clearly supervising and teaching, since they can hear corrections for language and actions on the video. It never stops kids coming over, and I get to continue hosting (makes it much easier than driving several kids for drop off and pick up!).

Okay so these kids appear to be unkind and their parents also appear unkind. I’m not sure why you’re extrapolating generally to kids dissed by nannies.
All of the families I know that use nannies treat them and pay them very welll because they recognize that it is super hard to find a good nanny and because having a nanny quit is incredibly disruptive to all aspects of your life. So many people here use nannies that, if you’re talking about nannies with some experience and legal authorization to work, they really are bargaining from a pretty good position. I don’t know much about the market for nannies without citizenship or green cards but I’d guess that the people who want to treat their nannies like crap hire those women.