Anonymous wrote:why’d you friend him on Facebook?

I was curious. Most of my old friends are on fb, so I know what they are up to. His story, for past 15 years, was unknown to me. I am the kind of person who just needs to know everything, haha. I guess there is also an element of "Look at me, I have done well." On both sides. He seemed to want to impress upon me that he is recovered, doing important work, has interesting things to say, etc. It also became clear to me in our conversation that he thinks a lot about me. Like, he wrote about a professional acquaintance and how I am like her. It should not be surprising that he carried me with him all these years. We were extremely close for all of our formative years. I just didn't know it would hit me so hard.

Anonymous[b wrote:]why’d you friend him on Facebook[/b]?

she likes drama but doesn't want to admit it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t sound like anything is wrong.
You friended him. So he messaged you, no surprise there.
You thought it would be ok to talk to him, and it was heavier than you expected. So you told him you needed to stop talking. You’re in a committed relationship. You last dated him at age 20. You’re going to not talk to him for a while, get over the idea of him at 20, and maybe or maybe not talk to him gain.

Sounds pretty fine

Ok cool thanks. I thought I was being overly dramatic by saying I could not talk to him, but it was more overwhelming than I thought it would be.

I’d just keep telling yourself: you’re not into him, you’re into the IDEA of him. You’ve thought about what it would be like to be with him during many past breakups and hard times, and have thought about him for decades. The idea of him is in your head. The person he actually is is probably quite different.

Hold on to that idea of him and cherish it. And never connect it to the actual older guy who has lived a separate life from you for years who is a very different person than the guy in your head.

This should be carved in rock as a life truth.

why’d you friend him on Facebook?

Drop the convo. Your brain will play tricks on you and you will go down a road you don't want to. Nothing good can come of it.

Anonymous wrote:Dang social media strikes again.
You need to delete the chats
You need to unfriend him.
Stop contacting exes.
Stop romanticizing the pass
Keep this to yourself and go enjoy your husband

This