Anonymous
02/15/2019 16:52
Subject: How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
Anonymous wrote:There’s a boy in my 14 yr dds class who calls her fat. Dd is a tall girl who is probably 10 lbs overweight, normal puberty weight gain. She’s at the age where girls are self critical and harsh on themselves, as is. When this boy calls her fat, it ruins her day. What is the best way to handle this? Do I email the principal and counselor? I want this boy to nip it and not grow up to be a bully
How do you teach girls to handle such situations? I need ideas on what are some good comebacks she can use for situations like these?
Speaking as someone who experienced this, the only thing that ever worked for me was giving no reaction. But I kept eye contact--I just stared blankly and blinked. Sometimes I would yawn widely. But I kept eye contact. On the inside, I was utterly destroyed, but the boy in question moved on. I think to someone with acne, poor kid.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 14:18
Subject: How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
Anonymous wrote:This won't be a popular response, but I'd take a moment with her and assist her in brainstorming his personal weaknesses. Basically, determining his insecurities. I'd help her figure out some zingers based on this. Obviously you can go through the school to, but there's something to be said about learning how to size someone up and taken them down verbally if they're trying to mess with you.
On another note, thicker girls (I'm one of them) do very well in Jiu-Jitsu. There are lots of ways to leverage your size to take down opponents. Lots of awesome female role models there, too, coming in all different shapes and sizes.
I agree with this poster. Find his personal weaknesses and go after them. I wasn't fat as a kid but was a beanpole. I remember this one kid would always call me long legs. Finally, one day I just called him fat legs. He never called me long legs again.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 14:16
Subject: Re:How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
Anonymous wrote:There is a lot of terrible advice on here.
She needs to learn to roll her eyes and ignore it. He's looking for a reaction--a non-reaction takes away the thrill of doing it. That, along with asking him why he feels the need to talk to her at all. "Jack, stop talk to me or about me." eyeroll, leave.
My DS used this tactice for the better part of 2 months when a couple of boys at his private (boys private) kept calling him and a friend gay. Friend eventually complained, things got worse for him. DS didn't, and it stopped completely. No fun, clearly.
I'm glad it stopped, but two months is a very long time. I wouldn't say this was a successful tactic just because the other friend continued to suffer the abuse. Two months is way too long...
Anonymous
02/15/2019 14:14
Subject: Re:How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
There is a lot of terrible advice on here.
She needs to learn to roll her eyes and ignore it. He's looking for a reaction--a non-reaction takes away the thrill of doing it. That, along with asking him why he feels the need to talk to her at all. "Jack, stop talk to me or about me." eyeroll, leave.
My DS used this tactice for the better part of 2 months when a couple of boys at his private (boys private) kept calling him and a friend gay. Friend eventually complained, things got worse for him. DS didn't, and it stopped completely. No fun, clearly.
She needs to learn to roll her eyes and ignore it. He's looking for a reaction--a non-reaction takes away the thrill of doing it. That, along with asking him why he feels the need to talk to her at all. "Jack, stop talk to me or about me." eyeroll, leave.
My DS used this tactice for the better part of 2 months when a couple of boys at his private (boys private) kept calling him and a friend gay. Friend eventually complained, things got worse for him. DS didn't, and it stopped completely. No fun, clearly.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 14:01
Subject: How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
I like the needle dick comeback
Anonymous
02/15/2019 14:00
Subject: Re:How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Teach her to say, “I can lose weight, but you’ll always be an asshole.”
Then why don’t you?
Not a good comeback.
Then you say 'why don't you just stop being an asshole'. Then you find their weak spot and start insulting it, glasses, zits, short, stringbean, needle dick, etc. Every bully is sensitive about their short comings, exploit the insecurity until bullying stops from them.
This is also sexual harrassment these days apparently.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 13:59
Subject: How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
Anonymous wrote:Can she just ignore him? He might escalate in the short term but will eventually move on to someone else if she doesn’t give him the reaction he wants.
If she can’t ignore him, she should stand up to him. “Why would say that to me? What are you trying to accomplish?” In other words, shaming him out of the behavior is worth a try. If that doesn’t work, she can always hit him where it hurts. “Do you make fun of others because you have a tiny d*ck?”
This is sexual harassment.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 13:48
Subject: How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
My DC was fat shamed for half a year until DC started retorting "shut up Urkel" to the bespectacled bully. Shut it down permanently.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 13:44
Subject: Re:How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Teach her to say, “I can lose weight, but you’ll always be an asshole.”
Then why don’t you?
Not a good comeback.
Then you say 'why don't you just stop being an asshole'. Then you find their weak spot and start insulting it, glasses, zits, short, stringbean, needle dick, etc. Every bully is sensitive about their short comings, exploit the insecurity until bullying stops from them.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 13:27
Subject: Re:How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
I deal with it by telling them to stop. Bullying is not cool. Teach your kids to not only stand up for themselves but to also stand up for others.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 13:03
Subject: How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
As someone who was called "Fat" once or twice (like your dd I was probably 5-10 lbs overweight) my advice would be to just ignore them and give them 0 reaction. If it escalates and becomes a daily issue or physical then talk to administration. Otherwise, ignore it.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 12:58
Subject: How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
This won't be a popular response, but I'd take a moment with her and assist her in brainstorming his personal weaknesses. Basically, determining his insecurities. I'd help her figure out some zingers based on this. Obviously you can go through the school to, but there's something to be said about learning how to size someone up and taken them down verbally if they're trying to mess with you.
On another note, thicker girls (I'm one of them) do very well in Jiu-Jitsu. There are lots of ways to leverage your size to take down opponents. Lots of awesome female role models there, too, coming in all different shapes and sizes.
On another note, thicker girls (I'm one of them) do very well in Jiu-Jitsu. There are lots of ways to leverage your size to take down opponents. Lots of awesome female role models there, too, coming in all different shapes and sizes.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 12:55
Subject: How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
Can she just ignore him? He might escalate in the short term but will eventually move on to someone else if she doesn’t give him the reaction he wants.
If she can’t ignore him, she should stand up to him. “Why would say that to me? What are you trying to accomplish?” In other words, shaming him out of the behavior is worth a try. If that doesn’t work, she can always hit him where it hurts. “Do you make fun of others because you have a tiny d*ck?”
If she can’t ignore him, she should stand up to him. “Why would say that to me? What are you trying to accomplish?” In other words, shaming him out of the behavior is worth a try. If that doesn’t work, she can always hit him where it hurts. “Do you make fun of others because you have a tiny d*ck?”
Anonymous
02/15/2019 12:43
Subject: How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
let her b*tch slap him. Worth getting suspended.
Anonymous
02/15/2019 12:43
Subject: How do you deal with kids fat shaming others
Teach her to ignore him. He is looking for her to react.