Anonymous wrote:I am always honest with my DH, if he hurts my feelings, he hears about it. How does your DH hurt your feelings? And not know about it?

NP here, and I do this too. The most recent time this happened, DH blew up at me about the fact that the Halloween costumes were sitting on a shelf in the closet instead of being put away properly in storage in the basement. He threw them on the bed and told me that he does “everything” around the house (he does not...he doesn’t even put away his own clean clothes hence seeing the costumes just now).
I am sure that I could have said something, but it was the middle of the day, the kids were home, and I had other things to do besides get into an argument with DH.

I gave him the silent treatment until he apologized and was able to have a rational conversation about how often our closet should be cleaned out.

When I am pissed at my wife, I contact my ex girlfriend and we meet a local hotel for mind blowing sex. I probably should not be screwing around like this but I just can’t help it. Anybody have ideas how I could better handle normal everyday disageements with my wife other than sleeping with the ex?

Anonymous wrote:It's called the cold shoulder treatment and women (and men) have been doing it for centuries. It's nothing new.

The most aggrevating thing about is that sometimes husbands/men are too dense to even notice that youre actively ignoring them. They carry on about their day, enjoying their coffee/scrolling the internet, going to work as normal, etc.

Want to know a secret? Sometimes they *do* notice, pretend not to, and are just enjoying it. It's a little respite from you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. I bet Jeff would confirm that all the posters agreeing with OP are the same person

PP, and I’m not a troll! Sometimes men do things that are just so dumb/insensitive that they don’t deserve a mature response at first. They deserve the silent treatment to think about what they did.

So you not only do this, but are now advocating that it is justified, and an acceptable way to act?

At least OP knows its wrong, and wants to change. You, sister, are beyond hope. Enjoy your divorce.

Anonymous wrote:I do this, too. Happily married for 7 years! Actually, I make it clear through a look etc that he did something wrong, then I do silent treatment for as long as it’s still entertaining for me, then usually when we’re in bed we talk about it.

My wife does what OP does, and lately it really stopped working. In fact, the most recent tantrum on her part was actually sort of justified but I am so checked out that I don't care if she goes silent. Our marriage is becoming a joke and I am to the point I don't care if she goes silent or if she leaves. I will be fine

FYI it's a massive red flag OP does this early in the marriage. At that stage wife and I were in love and on cloud 9 all the time.

I'll tell you what I tell my four-year olds. USE YOUR WORDS.

It's called the cold shoulder treatment and women (and men) have been doing it for centuries. It's nothing new.

The most aggrevating thing about is that sometimes husbands/men are too dense to even notice that youre actively ignoring them. They carry on about their day, enjoying their coffee/scrolling the internet, going to work as normal, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. I bet Jeff would confirm that all the posters agreeing with OP are the same person

PP, and I’m not a troll! Sometimes men do things that are just so dumb/insensitive that they don’t deserve a mature response at first. They deserve the silent treatment to think about what they did.

Wrong

Okay, let me clarify. DH forgets Valentine's Day: silent treatment! DH does something that hurts my feelings/I disagree with, but it's an honest misunderstanding on his part, then we have a mature discussion right away.

Go to individual counseling. You don't need to wait to be on the brink of divorce to learn healthy conflict resolution. I would also tell your husband that you realize your behavior is immature and that you're going to work on it (because you love him enough to do so).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll. I bet Jeff would confirm that all the posters agreeing with OP are the same person

PP, and I’m not a troll! Sometimes men do things that are just so dumb/insensitive that they don’t deserve a mature response at first. They deserve the silent treatment to think about what they did.

Wrong

Anonymous wrote:I don’t tell him, but I most certainly show him. I’m super friendly to other men in front of him, and cold as ice to him. For example- friendly to guy walking his dog by the house, friendly to checkout guy at Whole Foods, chit chat with another dad at soccer practice, etc. I don’t let DH touch me and I don’t answer his questions. I can’t help it it’s just what I do. How do I change? I don’t want to be a passive aggressive jerk but sometimes he hurts my feelings so much I can’t speak. I can only do mean things to him such as decline to communicate or be warm. Why, what is wrong with me???

Help me not sabotage my new marriage.

You speak, even if it's just to say that you can't talk to him right now.

"Bob, I'm really mad and I can't talk to you right now. I need some time to cool off." Then go cool off so you can talk about it.

The silent treatment is obnoxious and immature, and flirting with other men in front of him is pathetic and likely to make things worse.

Anonymous wrote:Troll. I bet Jeff would confirm that all the posters agreeing with OP are the same person

PP, and I’m not a troll! Sometimes men do things that are just so dumb/insensitive that they don’t deserve a mature response at first. They deserve the silent treatment to think about what they did.

Troll. I bet Jeff would confirm that all the posters agreeing with OP are the same person

Yes, it’s emotionally abusive. This behavior is appalling and I would never treat my husband that way. I can just IMAGINE if a husband did this to his wife. I can just IMAGINE. Deplorable.