Anonymous wrote:I grew dirt poor. Slept on floor in Living room till age of 12 with brother, Father an Alcoholic, both parents and 8th greade education. Lived in a very rough part of NYC as a kids, gun shots and stuff. Rent Controlled tiny apt. Went to college on financial aid, graduated college and got a job on Wall street, did MBA at night. Parents long dead. Dad died 16 liver failure, Mom died of Hep around 16 years ago.

Have three kids, a SAHM wife and make 500K and live in 6k square foot house in the DC area and my neighbors are all surgeons and lawyers.

Money means nothing to me. Could care less. I went to school with no hat or gloves, hole in a shoe, sometimes heat would go out in rental dump and in summer it was an inferno. We slept windows closed no AC on floor sometimes or window open a crack with a stick to block it so dont get robbed. I a bed, AC, Heat, food and own my own house and car which makes me feel rich. I acutally have a few million cash, stock and bonds, but does not feel real.

When was this? Went I went to college in early 2000s, wall street tended to filter for 'cultural fit' -- how did you squeak by?

Congrats all

How do you feel about poor people today since all of you started with barely anything and are now doing very well?

I grew dirt poor. Slept on floor in Living room till age of 12 with brother, Father an Alcoholic, both parents and 8th greade education. Lived in a very rough part of NYC as a kids, gun shots and stuff. Rent Controlled tiny apt. Went to college on financial aid, graduated college and got a job on Wall street, did MBA at night. Parents long dead. Dad died 16 liver failure, Mom died of Hep around 16 years ago.

Have three kids, a SAHM wife and make 500K and live in 6k square foot house in the DC area and my neighbors are all surgeons and lawyers.

Money means nothing to me. Could care less. I went to school with no hat or gloves, hole in a shoe, sometimes heat would go out in rental dump and in summer it was an inferno. We slept windows closed no AC on floor sometimes or window open a crack with a stick to block it so dont get robbed. I a bed, AC, Heat, food and own my own house and car which makes me feel rich. I acutally have a few million cash, stock and bonds, but does not feel real.

I spent the first 12 years of my life dirt poor in a third world country. Then my family immigrated here, spent the next 8 years being poor here (My parents' HHI was and still is around $30k a year).

Now my partner and I make around $200k a year. I'm constantly amazed by how many life problems Ithat can be alleviated by just having money. Not having to constantly plan out which paycheck pays what bill or when which payment comes out. If I have a big surprised bill, I'm gonna be annoyed because I can't save as much as I want this month, not because I'm gonna need to ration food to get through the month.

I must say though, having been poor for so long, I have extreme anxiety about losing it all some day. My friends and colleagues who grew up in UMC families in this area can't understand it at all and think I'm nuts lol

Nothing like being poor in a developed country. Immigrant here - grew up in 2 bedroom govt housing for 6 people. One time we were in housing where water was pulled from a well by hand (!), clothes washed by hand, etc. Came to the US for college under a scholarship and now make over $500k and my husband also an immigrant, our HHI is over $1M. I send money home to my parents and siblings and so does he.

Money alleviates a lot of stress....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, yes I am happy. Grew up very poor, HHI is now around 750/800k with very flexible, family friendly jobs.

It is so much better to have money.

I think the only people who say money doesn’t buy happiness haven’t been poor and so have no clue how stressful it is to worry about money and not having enough to eat or to heat your house properly.

You can be poor and miserable and rich and miserable. But guess which one is better.

Money buys security, comfort, pleasure, entertainment, and time. All of which contributes greatly to overall happiness.

Yea. As long as the choice isn't dirt poor vs rich. I'm a poster upthread who made 282k last year. I can say with complete honesty that there is absolutely no difference in happiness that I can perceive between me making 90k vs 282k.

My DH makes a ton of money and his gross bonus check last quarter was 218k. It did not ever raise my heartbeat. At this point what more can we do with it? It definitely does not buy more happiness. Happiness was tapped out as far as money goes some time ago. I actually sometimes get a gross feeling after spending a lot of money on something very materialistic. For instance we recently redis our kitchen and though it is pretty and functional, I lit is kind of sickening what we spent in regards to consumption.

Did DH grow up LMC too?

No. Middle Class. Solidly. Road trips, not airplane, public university the his parents could only help partially with. Mother a homemaker.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, yes I am happy. Grew up very poor, HHI is now around 750/800k with very flexible, family friendly jobs.

It is so much better to have money.

I think the only people who say money doesn’t buy happiness haven’t been poor and so have no clue how stressful it is to worry about money and not having enough to eat or to heat your house properly.

You can be poor and miserable and rich and miserable. But guess which one is better.

Money buys security, comfort, pleasure, entertainment, and time. All of which contributes greatly to overall happiness.

Yea. As long as the choice isn't dirt poor vs rich. I'm a poster upthread who made 282k last year. I can say with complete honesty that there is absolutely no difference in happiness that I can perceive between me making 90k vs 282k.

My DH makes a ton of money and his gross bonus check last quarter was 218k. It did not ever raise my heartbeat. At this point what more can we do with it? It definitely does not buy more happiness. Happiness was tapped out as far as money goes some time ago. I actually sometimes get a gross feeling after spending a lot of money on something very materialistic. For instance we recently redis our kitchen and though it is pretty and functional, I lit is kind of sickening what we spent in regards to consumption.

It depends on what you spend money on.

We spend a lot of money on experiences: travel, ski trips, subscription theater tickets, concerts, eating out at great restaurants, plus our kids and their activities. Those things do make be happy in the moment. Skiing for example is one of my purest pleasures. Going down a difficult run forces you to be so in the money. It’s a huge rush.

Those things are all great, but they don't make me a happy person. Having a wonderful marriage and two great kids are really what beings me happiness. You pull that out of the equation and no ski trips or concerts will make me happy. Maybe because I didnt JUST grow up poor, but grew up with parents with serious mental health issues who were unhappy, what actually makes me happy is living in harmony. Not spending money on things, that is just a byproduct of money. What is great though about having money is we've done some extensive 3rd world travel and have met pleanty of happy people with very little means. I also get a lot of happiness from spoiling my siblings.

Grew up super poor.

Went to a junior college, then transferred to a state school, then went to Harvard Law. Then worked in BigLaw then consulting. Married someone in BigLaw. Consulting didn't make sense for having kids bc of the travel schedule, so when pregnant with DC1 I then became a SAHM.

We are well off (not super-rich but well off) but it's tricky raising my kids because their world is so different than mine. They have problems that to me, are luxury problems--because anything not involving basic needs is a luxury to me. For instance, I have a DC with anxiety--my knee-jerk reaction is, what is there to be anxious about; you have food, a roof over your head, clothes, people who love you and most importantly, security that these things will not be taken away. I have to step back and remember that their problems are just as real to them as mine were to me.

Also, I have to chillax when doing anything leisurely or financially "wasteful"--like getting a cup of coffee at a coffee shop. Spending $6 or so on coffee...I used to make $3 an hour so that's hard to reconcile. But I do it; I make myself do things like that because I don't want to nickel and dime myself out of enjoying things; especially if I'm meeting a friend or something. And I will now spend for convenience like order take out for the kids...right now my time is strapped so I trade money for convenience--sure, lots of people do--but I think unlike many other people, I have to get over a mental hurdle every time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, yes I am happy. Grew up very poor, HHI is now around 750/800k with very flexible, family friendly jobs.

It is so much better to have money.

I think the only people who say money doesn’t buy happiness haven’t been poor and so have no clue how stressful it is to worry about money and not having enough to eat or to heat your house properly.

You can be poor and miserable and rich and miserable. But guess which one is better.

Money buys security, comfort, pleasure, entertainment, and time. All of which contributes greatly to overall happiness.

Yea. As long as the choice isn't dirt poor vs rich. I'm a poster upthread who made 282k last year. I can say with complete honesty that there is absolutely no difference in happiness that I can perceive between me making 90k vs 282k.

My DH makes a ton of money and his gross bonus check last quarter was 218k. It did not ever raise my heartbeat. At this point what more can we do with it? It definitely does not buy more happiness. Happiness was tapped out as far as money goes some time ago. I actually sometimes get a gross feeling after spending a lot of money on something very materialistic. For instance we recently redis our kitchen and though it is pretty and functional, I lit is kind of sickening what we spent in regards to consumption.

Did DH grow up LMC too?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LMC or lower, what do you do now? How much do you make? Are you happy?

Not sure what we were. My parents were very well educated, but have terrible mental illness. We had food insecurity and housing was not stable. Father ended up eventually homeless. Mother can't hold down a job but luckily has held down a man.

I only have 2 years in college and just did my taxes. Made 282k in 2018. I'm very happy, but this has nothing to do with money. I have a husband I love and two truly wonderful kids. Our lives are comfortable and full of a lot of love and closeness. My biggest worry is the thought of passing down mentally ill genes to my kids.

Are you in sales?

No

What field pays that well without college degree?

In the moment not money

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, yes I am happy. Grew up very poor, HHI is now around 750/800k with very flexible, family friendly jobs.

It is so much better to have money.

I think the only people who say money doesn’t buy happiness haven’t been poor and so have no clue how stressful it is to worry about money and not having enough to eat or to heat your house properly.

You can be poor and miserable and rich and miserable. But guess which one is better.

Money buys security, comfort, pleasure, entertainment, and time. All of which contributes greatly to overall happiness.

Yea. As long as the choice isn't dirt poor vs rich. I'm a poster upthread who made 282k last year. I can say with complete honesty that there is absolutely no difference in happiness that I can perceive between me making 90k vs 282k.

My DH makes a ton of money and his gross bonus check last quarter was 218k. It did not ever raise my heartbeat. At this point what more can we do with it? It definitely does not buy more happiness. Happiness was tapped out as far as money goes some time ago. I actually sometimes get a gross feeling after spending a lot of money on something very materialistic. For instance we recently redis our kitchen and though it is pretty and functional, I lit is kind of sickening what we spent in regards to consumption.

It depends on what you spend money on.

We spend a lot of money on experiences: travel, ski trips, subscription theater tickets, concerts, eating out at great restaurants, plus our kids and their activities. Those things do make be happy in the moment. Skiing for example is one of my purest pleasures. Going down a difficult run forces you to be so in the money. It’s a huge rush.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, yes I am happy. Grew up very poor, HHI is now around 750/800k with very flexible, family friendly jobs.

It is so much better to have money.

I think the only people who say money doesn’t buy happiness haven’t been poor and so have no clue how stressful it is to worry about money and not having enough to eat or to heat your house properly.

You can be poor and miserable and rich and miserable. But guess which one is better.

Money buys security, comfort, pleasure, entertainment, and time. All of which contributes greatly to overall happiness.

Yea. As long as the choice isn't dirt poor vs rich. I'm a poster upthread who made 282k last year. I can say with complete honesty that there is absolutely no difference in happiness that I can perceive between me making 90k vs 282k.

My DH makes a ton of money and his gross bonus check last quarter was 218k. It did not ever raise my heartbeat. At this point what more can we do with it? It definitely does not buy more happiness. Happiness was tapped out as far as money goes some time ago. I actually sometimes get a gross feeling after spending a lot of money on something very materialistic. For instance we recently redis our kitchen and though it is pretty and functional, I lit is kind of sickening what we spent in regards to consumption.

Grew up LMC and am still LMC. I am highly educated, college with PELL and SEOG and then got an MA and Ph.D. If I prioritized salary in my choices, I could be making much more than I do. I work for a non-profit and like the work and am happy to live modestly. I've had a lot of exposure to wealthy and UMC people, and I just don't like the culture, I'm happier living in a poor/working class community. I have friends from a wide variety of backgrounds and wealth and am happy my daughter gets to grow up in a really diverse environment.

Honestly, yes I am happy. Grew up very poor, HHI is now around 750/800k with very flexible, family friendly jobs.

It is so much better to have money.

I think the only people who say money doesn’t buy happiness haven’t been poor and so have no clue how stressful it is to worry about money and not having enough to eat or to heat your house properly.

You can be poor and miserable and rich and miserable. But guess which one is better.

Money buys security, comfort, pleasure, entertainment, and time. All of which contributes greatly to overall happiness.