Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely wait a little while longer. At the very least one more year. Mine have been frozen for 7 years and even though I KNOW I'm not having another, it's tough closing that chapter of my life. We were planning on using them to try for a 2nd but ended up getting pregnant on our own after our first was born via IVF. They're not even quality embryos. They were the worst of the batch of four we created first go around and the two better ones we did put in didn't take.

But damn it's hard to commit to the decision.

+1 this is exactly our situation but with one high quality embryo remaining. It was basically 50/50 chance between that embryo and the embryo that became my 6 year old daughter. We also got pregnant naturally and somewhat unexpectedly for our second and we are 100% happy with two. I feel like Three would turn our world into a tailspin but we just can’t seem to consent to destroy or donate the embryo to science so we’ve just been paying $400 yearly to not have to make a decision.
I never thought I’d feel this way. I’m a scientist and atheist but the idea that it was a 50/50 chance for my daughter...I can understand the desire for the compassionate transfer that PP mentioned.

Thanks again from OP. I appreciate hearing how you all have handled this situation. My husband agrees to keep the embryos frozen for another year and then to reassess. We are still very very happy with just our one but having some insurance cannot hurt until we are 100% sure rather than 99% sure.

I would absolutely wait a little while longer. At the very least one more year. Mine have been frozen for 7 years and even though I KNOW I'm not having another, it's tough closing that chapter of my life. We were planning on using them to try for a 2nd but ended up getting pregnant on our own after our first was born via IVF. They're not even quality embryos. They were the worst of the batch of four we created first go around and the two better ones we did put in didn't take.

But damn it's hard to commit to the decision.

Anonymous wrote:We had originally asked to NOT create SO many embryos because we really did not want to face this choice. We definitely viewed each one as a life and wanted to give each one a chance.

We ended up with five. We put two in, it did not work. We were exhausted and moved to China adoption for #1. Adopted child #1.

Then, after feeling better about things, went back for the remaining three embryos. Put two in, did not work. Was preparing to put last one in, and it did not survive the thaw. :*( Rest in peace, little ones.

Went back to China adoption for child #2.

Now have two children adopted from China.

My best wishes to you, OP.

PS Doctors did not understand what we were doing AT ALL and kept telling me, before my FETs, "You would have much better chances if you created new ones. We really would advise doing a fresh cycle." I would say, "Thanks. That's ok. No thanks." They did NOT get it. Grrr.

We had originally asked to NOT create SO many embryos because we really did not want to face this choice. We definitely viewed each one as a life and wanted to give each one a chance.

We ended up with five. We put two in, it did not work. We were exhausted and moved to China adoption for #1. Adopted child #1.

Then, after feeling better about things, went back for the remaining three embryos. Put two in, did not work. Was preparing to put last one in, and it did not survive the thaw. :*( Rest in peace, little ones.

Went back to China adoption for child #2.

Now have two children adopted from China.

My best wishes to you, OP.

OP, I really feel for you. I am going to be in your position soon. All the blood, sweat and tears (and money) that went into creating these embryos is truly unreal. And yes... every one was a chance, accompanied by so many hopes and dreams and visions. And we watched as the one or two grew from this little speck in a photograph to these sweet babies (also not trying to start a debate as I am pro-choice FWIW). But it's HARD. We went from having nothing to freeze ever (or even transfer) to ending up with 9 early-stage embryos. So most likely most won't take, but one of those became my second DC. So there's certainly a good chance that there's a good one or two (or more) out of the bunch. We decided we'd try for one more but I'd be lying if I said this decision wasn't at least partially fueled by the fact that we can't just discard them all. And I know this sounds crazy but I almost hope the first couple transfers don't work. It's nuts but I don't want to be faced with having to discard 8 embryos. But I guess that's coming. Because if we get a 3rd child out of this, I am pretty sure that'll be it. Our first is a LOT of work and our second is no walk in the park either!

I don't understand "compassionate transfer" at all. It seems so absurdly silly and like such a waste. Do only religious people do this?

Anonymous wrote:It's called compassionate transfer - you could call and ask

This phrase, "compassionate transfer," sounds disingenuous.

A "compassionate transfer" leads to the same result as letting embryos thaw out. The major difference is that transferring the embryos also wastes money.

It's called compassionate transfer - you could call and ask

Anonymous wrote:It's a heavy choice for sure. We did just one IVF cycle to get our second child, and ended up with nine embryos in storage. I was originally 100% sure I only wanted two children. Then on a lark we got them tested. Four out of nine were normal. So against all prior convictions we transferred one, and our third child was born. It just seemed such a waste to let them go after we had the PGS results.

We still have three on ice and we are 500% sure we don't want more children. We decided against donating. SGF offers this thing where they transfer the embryos into a woman when there is zero chance of conceiving, and they just sort of dissolve inside. We'll do that in a year or so - although it's a total ritual (meaning it's basically disposal), but it seems like a nice symbolism to have them go back to where they came from.

My sympathies are with you. It's not an easy choice at all. In your shoes I'd give real thought to #2.

Does anyone know the cost of this? Is it the same as a frozen embryo transfer?

Anonymous wrote:OP are these PGS tested embryos? I would definitely pay for storage for another year just so that you are certain. I see these as potentials and we transferred our only PGS normal frozen embryo after having DD from a fresh cycle. If we have more PGS normal embryos and we couldn’t afford another child, we would have opted to donate to another embryo. I originally said we would bring them home and dispose them ourselves but after having our daughter, our perspective change so much. It would seem like destroying a potential life.

Not PGS tested.

Anonymous wrote:How much does it cost to store embryos?

Depends on facility, but it's always more when the RE stores them as they have limited space. If you do very long term storage b/c you don't plan to use them, you can transfer to an off-site facility (often a farm-type set up) which can significantly reduce costs. OP said her fees were $500/yr. I can't remember how much I'm paying, but I think it was similar.

How much does it cost to store embryos?

The SGF procedure doesn't result in pregnancy. The end result is the same as disposal, but some people choose to see it differently to ease religious/moral concerns.

I'd recommend holding onto the embryos longer. I'm pretty sure I'm done after my current pregnancy, but will hold onto mine for a few more years. There are likely options for cheaper storage, but if you're only holding them another few years, it's probably not worth the hassle/risk to transfer.

Yeah I think it is.