Anonymous wrote:Get a background check.

I wish I had.

Sometimes they tell you only to justify you “knowing” before they fall off the wagon again. A grooming technique.

Be careful.

I wish I had.

#SurvivingAbuse

My now exDH told me about a youthful indiscretion. At the time I thought that it was a confidence that indicated that he was being emotionally close with me. 5 years later I recognized it for the beginning of the process of grooming me to accept abuse or the abnormal.

Get a background check.

I wish I had.

Sometimes they tell you only to justify you “knowing” before they fall off the wagon again. A grooming technique.

Be careful.

I wish I had.

#SurvivingAbuse

Yikes. This would give me pause. But, he gets major points for telling you unsolicited. I'd continue to date him, but I'd want to know more over time. How'd he quit? Was there an incident or something that was a final wake up call? Did he ever get in trouble for drugs -- possession, dealing, arrests? Did he ever have relapses? What brought the relapse on? Does he deal with any other issues - depression, anxiety, etc.? What happened to the friends he had at that period of his life?

Of course, I wouldn't ask these like it's an interrogation, but I'd want to know more. He gets points for having been open, and more points if he continues to be open.

At least he told you. I know someone who was an insane heroin user, wealthy family but he would live on the streets for drugs. He finally cleaned up and married a cute girl, she has no idea of his past and never will

Is he active in a 12 step program, sponsors and all? As in, is an addict, once in recovery always in recovery, or something he tried out/experimented with and is done? Either way can give you more information. Then you can decide what to do with that information. Maybe nothing, maybe go to an Al Anon meeting (supports those who are family or loved one of someone in a 12 step program).